Medically Caused Harm

Just read some posts on #DoctorsAbuseToo and #NursesAbuseToo via Archie Banterings@MadmanBanterings on Twitter. With what happened to my husband and I, we can relate. If is difficult to reconcile the amount of harm that can be done by abusive doctors and nurses when supposedly their primary function is to deliver compassionate and skilled care to the ill patient. It utterly blows you mind to know not all of these paragons of sainthoods are there for positive patient outcomes. They might not outright physically kill you (although there have been documented cases of killer healthcare workers), they certainly mortally harm you mentality.

I have mentioned both my husband and I suffer from PTSD. It has been 10 months since the abuse happened. The abuse results have not gone away or even lessened. There is not a day or any long span of time the abuse we suffered is not in the forefront of our thoughts. It affects our every moment as we are always thinking of the consequences of what they did and what could happen if again if either of us is taken to a hospital in an emergency situation out of our control. It is a chilling thought to us that haunts our every thought.

Most people have medical treatment but most do not realize what trauma can when hospitalized because of the many drugs used to keep them compliant, submissive, confused, and without memory of the events. Patients who are extremely ill or are having a procedure done are especially vulnerable to doctor/nurse/tech abuse. Also, there is a general tendency to bury our head in the sand to avoid things that may happen to us during medical care. We may do this because we feel it is out of our control, are too ill at the time to defend ourselves, may think this is how it has to be, are afraid of speaking up for fear of retaliation, or may have other reasons. People also tend to put doctors/nurses on pedestals thinking of them as almost as demigods. Also, many healthcare workers give off the attitude of being superior and for whatever reason, most of us don’t question it. It is even the opinion of the government agencies like Quality Care Organization of KEPRO that patients do not have the right to refuse medications if a doctor wants to give it to them. That is really scary that you do not have the right to refuse what is put into your body? That means when receiving medical care, patients are not entitled to autonomy like as a citizen of the US is supposedly guaranteed in the Constitution. Medical care is exempted from respecting individuals rights and are allowed to acts as they please.

For those who have been abused, the consequences of the resulting abuse is overwhelming. For us, we don’t ever want to have medical care that involves hospitalization. Both of us would rather die than be subjected to such abuse again as we have no way in predicting which medical providers are likely to be abusers. However, we do know there are ones who abuse.

Many medical people are what I term as narcissists. A narcissist is a person who has an entirely too high opinion of themselves and thinks the world revolves around them. The entire medical community is set up in this manner. Being a narcissist is not far removed from being a sociopath. According to both feel they are never wrong and have no conscience in the horrible things they may do to people. Neither have empathy or compassion for others, feel entitled to things that want as they feel they are more important than those around them. They may act as if they had the same, stable emotions as others but it is only a game. They intentionally do things to upset people especially in public places. They may pretend interest in you so they can ask information about you that will be useful for them to use against you. They falsify stories in order to manipulate. The medical workers my husband came into contact with fit this profile–sociopaths. All sociopaths are narcissists but not all narcissists are sociopaths.

These are the kind of people delivering healthcare to our loved ones during a time when they and we are at our most vulnerable. It is no wonder that bad things happen to patients. Many patients don’t talk about what has happened while they have been hospitalized. They may be ashamed, scared, or think they can put make it go away by not talking or thinking about it. But not talking about it only allows more of this same type of abuse to grow and affect more patients.

There is no one there to protect patients except themselves or loved their loved ones if they are allowed to know what is really going on and not just the story the medical community gives them. If most potential patients knew how they would be treated while being prepped for procedure, many procedures would not happen. Most do not know they will be drugged. Like for a heart cath. they say you will be awake but you really are not. You will be drugged with both Versed and Fentanyl. The Versed is given to make you forget most everything that happens. It also makes you submissive and uninhibited. The Fentanyl will also diminish your mental and physical capabilities as well as giving some pain relief. You will be mainly in a dream cycle of sleep per the Versed. You can be aroused and you may do things you ordinarily would not do. They like their patients to be drugged as it makes their jobs easier and they can act and do whatever they want to you and you likely won’t complain, refuse, or remember. This also gives them the opportunity to take pictures of you while you are naked and drugged. Personal cell phones are always with them. They make shoot a video of you acting stupid or making a confession of something to send out in their social media or yours. They also like to make fun of patients while they are naked and drugged. Doctors are known to snap pictures of something interesting they see on a naked patient. You signed a consent form allowing them to take photos never dreaming it might be on someone’s personal phone for their spouse or frineds to see. Like in my husband’s case (this time the large drug cocktail worked against their goal), they stripped off his clothes, didn’t tell him about the procedure they had planned as he was too drugged to comprehend or fend off their medical assault, and left him completely naked and cold for a prolonged period of time. They simply didn’t care about him as a person. They were in control. They had no compassion. They are sociopaths. They falsified his medical records to cover up what they were doing to him. Stripped naked and left naked for no reason. Too drugged for informed consent to have taken place. Given fentanyl when he wasn’t in pain but did it to make him submissive and defenseless as they knew he said we would make a decision after Rancidcan had talked to both of us about what his options were. Those four women in the cath lab who stripped him and left him naked for no reason and who lied about him giving consent, are classic sociopaths. There is no remedy for what they did and like any good sociopath, they covered their tracks by falsifying his medical records. The air ambulance crew gave him fentanyl because they knew they had to make him compliant as he was not agreeable to having a cath done without us being given more information. They had to lie about his pain level in order to make it look justified. The medical staff seem to enjoy their power and control they can exert over a patient especially one they think is being difficult by not graveling at their feet and begging them to save their live in any manner. They retaliate against patients who don’t conform to what they think a patient should be. They isolated my husband so I wouldn’t be able to stop the unauthorized procedure by seeing he was so drugged. Again, they did not make note of him being drugged because that would been evidence of wrongdoing on their part.

The nurse, Feather Wench, is also a sociopath. She continued the abuse started by the cath lab. She also left him naked for no reason. She made him the center of attention to her co-workers by leaving him naked for no reason and making him urinate into a bedpan as they all watched. She also gave them the added thrill of seeing her clean his genitals like a mother cleaning her baby after changing a diaper. She made sure she demonstrated her power and control over a defenseless victim. Her social media profile talks about how pretty everyone say she is, her love of drinking, and that she is a “Southern Belle.” The laughing nurse, Winifred Le Ong ( have changed her), is clearly entranced with Wench and either strides to be like her or is afraid of crossing her. In any case, patient welfare is neither of their concern as torturing of patients seem to be their sport. Again, they achieve this by isolation and the drugs that make patients unable to defend themselves. Imagine lying there drugged while Nurse Wench is making you the entertainment but being so drugged you are unable do nothing except live through that nightmare.

Imagine days later realizing that without your consent and against what you would have had done, you now have only been sexually victimized but you must live with the horrible results of having foreign objects inserted into your body against your will. These foreign objects, stents, will forever be in your body and a forever reminder of how you were assaulted by those “compassionate” medical workers. You also find out that because you have stents, you will forever be at risk to have another heart attack because your arteries will be forever sending plaque to heal over where the stents begin because that is what arteries do when they think an artery is injured. This tendency will never go away as the metal stent will forever cause irritation to the artery making it try to heal over with plaque and platelets sticking to the plaque. Of course, they knew this happens and that is why they have a DAPT regimen of drugs to take. The drugs as I have mentioned before cause severe consequences themselves. A man who did not have high cholesterol or high blood pressure is required by the medical community to take blood thinners (so he can bleed to death and give them more money to fix him), cough, dizziness, bruising; statins to lower his already within healthy levels of cholesterol down to a dangerously low level that will cause muscle loss, memory loss, kidney issues, extreme tiredness, etc.; blood pressure pill to cause extreme dizziness so he will fall and give them more money to fix his broken bones, etc., and other pills which are just as dangerous. They seemed upset because at 67 years old he was not already on a host of pills. They did their best they thought to remedy by forcing him to have a procedure of their choosing. Everyday he must live with feeling worse than he did before he had the surprise heart attack. He does not have a good day with their “cure”. Him feeling good was never their objective. Their sociopathic objective was control, power, and greed and to that end they were successful. Never mind how they actually injured him and me in the process. What was done was done in the name of medicine. And because of this, our only choice is to die younger than what we would have if this had not have happened. This is the real medical result of treatment. It will be our earlier than necessary deaths because of the abuses they have done and the total lack of trust and confidence in a medical system that is supposed to do no harm. I wonder what their definition of harm is? It probably is they can do whatever they want and the harm would only come if they are caught. They know that chance is slim as the government and lawyers are on their side because protecting them is where the money is. Common people, the patients, do not matter.

Medical Assault—The Gold Standard of Treatment

According to, medical battery (assault) is:

So how would a medical assault & battery happen?  Hospitals need to make money.  What brings them money are the procedures done in the hospital setting.  For instance, the flavor of the day is for treating heart attacks is stenting.  If you have a heart attack, you will be taken directly to the cardiac catheterization lab–you will not pass go & you will be billed (and/or your insurance company) hundreds of thousands dollars.  The cardiac catheterization lab is really big business for a hospital. 

So if you are sitting at home on a Saturday night and start having chest pain, you’ll most likely visit an ER.  First off, they encourage you to use an ambulance to arrive at the ER even though it may be quicker to actually have someone drive you there.  There is no money involved for them if you are driven there via private automobile.  Mostly likely you’ll have an EKG done as well as blood drawn.  They will give you aspirin, nitro, heparin, and painkillers as determined by them. 

In my husband’s case, the local hospital’s ER had to send him on because they were not a full service hospital.  They mentioned he would need more treatment than they could give.  They vaguely mentioned he may need clot busting drugs, cardiac catheterization, or open heart surgery.  I think the open heart surgery option was thrown in there just to scare us.  These were given as options.  We did not agree to anything nor did they say anything had been decided.  They gave us no details on any of the options they mentioned.   After they gave him nitro, aspirin, and morphine; he pain had subsided into being just a dull ache.

When the helicopter finally arrived for him, I left for the other hospital anticipating that once there were would discuss with the hospital his options.  That had been what we were lead to believe what would happen.  However, we had no idea they had other plans which they had planned and decided upon.  No one at any time told us the medical community’s “gold standard” of treatment for a STEMI (heart attack) is immediate Percanteous Coronary Intervention (PCI).  If we would have known, we would have not agreed until both of us had heard the full details of all treatment options.  They knew we expected to make the treatment decision to what they did next guaranteed them the ability to decide and carry out their selected plan.

On the helicopter service, unknown to my husband, the flight medics documented his pain level as an eight when in reality it was only a 1 or a dull ache.  Doing this provided cover for them to dose him with 100 mcg of fentanyl which basically rendered him incapable of normal functioning both physically and mentally.  They knew this because the first hospital also chose to omit his severe reactions to pain killers and benzos such as versed.  This was very negligent of them because some of the side effects would directly affect a man who was having a heart attack.  However, they knew with what they had planned, it was standard procedure but they didn’t want us to know and they certainly didn’t want documentation existing about what he had said.

Once at the other hospital, isolation was the name of the game.  They purposely kept me isolated from him, uninformed, and with a warden to guard me so they would be free to pursue their agenda.  They know that if they are able to keep people who are in a stressful situation isolated and uninformed they will be operate to succeed in accomplishing their agenda.  Their agenda was to make sure he had a PCI whether he wanted it or not because it is a huge money-making procedure.  Also, the staff had been called in so they needed to make sure they could cover that expense. 

The second case of medical assault was when my husband arrived at the 2nd hospital.  Knowing he was drugged, they were able to start readying him for the procedure they had chosen for him to have.  Although they knew he had been drugged incapable with 100 mcg of fentanyl, the 2nd hospital made no mention of this in any of their medical forms.  Absolutely none so this signals they knew he was incapable of any decision or even defending himself against what they had in store for him.  Immediately, without asking or giving him a chance, they stripped off his clothes.  They did not bother with the pretense of keeping his genital region covered as they were stripping him naked.  They knew he was drugged and would offer no resistance.  They gave him no gown or sheet.  They simply didn’t care about his personal dignity.  To them, he was something they could manipulate or humiliate at will.  They started with the conscious sedation evaluation.  They also inserted two more undocumented IVs into each bend of his elbow so that he had a total of four IVs for the entire stay.  They did not care even about his physical comfort.  They filled out the forms which he may or may not have answered as he was only capable of understanding simple questions and answered with yes or no as his thought and action process was severely impaired at this point.

My husband does remember this is what they did to him.  He said he felt disattached to his body as if he were watching a tv program unfolding in front of him.  He remembers hearing them say I was there but the people were at a distance from him in the cath lab room discussing it. They never approached him but he did hear them say they were sending a chaplain to me.  That really scared him for two reasons but he was too drugged to react.  The first reason being is he thought they were sending a chaplain because he was dying and not stable like the other hospital had said.  The second reason was he knew I would never want a chaplain involved but again, the drugs prevented him in taking action and they didn’t allow him input into his own life.  He remembers wondering why I wasn’t in there to see him and why they were not having me there with him to discuss what his options of treatment were.  He said he just kept waiting for that to happen as he laid there totally naked in a room of at least 4 women and others.  Being drugged, he had no concept of time and really what they were doing.  He thought they were doing tests but had no idea they were really doing the procedure they had in their godlike, tyrannical manner chosen for him. 

He did not know until I told him the next day that he had a procedure done.  We then were able to conclude it had been done against his will because neither of us had consented to it.  He was drugged and unable to give legal consent.  I was not advised of the procedure until it was completed as the warden was very vague and would walk away when the cath lab called.  He did, however, think the public in the hallway should have updates because he had his phone on speakerphone.  I was the only one who was not allowed to hear about my husband’s procedure as it was happening.

Some might argue this was an emergency situation.  While it was an unexpected heart attack, my husband was not unconscious and had made known what he wanted.  He was also stable until they were into the procedure and the stress of him being scared, humiliated about being put naked on display resulting in being extremely cold as the cath lab room is kept very cold, alone wondering why I wasn’t with him, the drugs which he said would cause severe side effects did indeed cause his blood pressure to drop, or the procedure itself caused his pressure to drop low one time.  Instead of labeling it as a vasovagal reaction they chose to cover themselves by labeling it as cardiogenic shock even though it did not fit the definition.  They chose to drug him so they could disregard his decisions.  Even though he had family present (me) that could have made a decision, they kept me isolated from him and uninformed so they could accomplish their medical assault.   He did not sign informed consent nor does he even remember it being discussed with him.  They said he, being deeply drugged, gave them verbal consent.  However, it is not legally binding as he was incapable of making a rational decision as he was drugged with fentanyl and probably already pre-sedated with additional fentanyl and versed.  They discovered there was no consent on file moments before they actually started the procedure so it is very questionable about whether they had him sedated or not.  They may only make a decision if the patient is unconscious and no family can be contacted.  This was not the case.  I was there and he was incapable because of being drugged prior to arrival and perhaps even before the consent was signed by them. 

The fact is he would not have chosen this treatment.  He would not have wanted to have metal stents in him.  Because of the stenting, the arteries will be forever receiving a signal they need to send plaque to the beginning of the stent to heal.  This will cause plaque deposits to form and along with platelet buildup.  Of course, knowing that stenting causes the very issue that caused the heart attack in the first place, they have prescription medicines to partially relieve the symptoms.  Not only will aspirin be needed but medicines like Brilanta will be needed to thin the blood so platelets won’t stick to the plaque as easily but you will be more likely to bleed to death and be one big walking bruise.  But that is okay because that keeps their hospital social workers employeed so they can while you are naked they can ask you if you are a victim of spousal abuse.  Hospital workers seem to enjoy having their patients naked while they are caring for them because it makes the staff feel superior and the patients are intimidated and are more likely to be submissive and complacent.  Statins like Crestor will be needed to reduce cholesterol down to non-existent levels even this too is dangerous to everyday functions like memory, damage muscles (don’t forget your heart is a muscle too), and help cause kidney failure.  But never fear, there are more procedures and pills for any side effects.  For those side effects, there are more procedure and pills and so on and so forth.  You will be a continuous source of control and money until you die but the medical community would grieve as there will be someone else to take your place on the conveyor belt of medical treatment.  He would have opted for clot busting drugs first.  However, at the time, we did not know what our options were as no one really discussed it with us.  We now know after the fact.  But it is too late.  He forever must live with the consequence of their medical assault.  There is never a moment in any day he is not reminded of being a victim of medical assault.   He had things done to his body against his will and, furthermore; was condemned to watch as if he was only a spectator who was watching a horror movie about mad scientists performing experiments on innocent victims only he was the victim. 

It is beyond scary the power and control a hospital or medical staff have.  What is even scarier is they will use their power and control because of their greed or the need to do procedures to make money.  Even though we were lead to believe he would be able to direct his treatment choice once he was at the other hospital, all the hospital staff involved knew otherwise.  They manipulated us into letting us think we would be informed about the treatment options and would be the ones deciding.  That was never to be.  Think this cannot happen to you.  You would be wrong–medical assault is the gold standard of treatment.

My View on the Opiate Crisis

I have been watching some of the coverage about the opiate crisis here in the US on tv. It seems big pharma has been thrown under the bus but the bus needs to back up and run over all those involved in creating this crisis. The average person does not go directly to big pharma to get their drugs. There is a middleman who is just as culpable as big pharma. In fact, without this middleman, the average citizen would not be able to get prescription opiates.

To be clear, opiates have been around forever. Morphine is an opiate. Morphine has been used as a heavy hitter for pain relief forever. When I had my c-sections, they had me hooked up to a morphine pump. I did not ask for it. I used it because they had already given it to me but soon I realized I did not need it. The second C-section, I used did not use it. I did not see big pharma at my bedside giving me morphine but it was prescribed by my doctor. Doctors are the middle men who are actually the drug pushers. For pushing certain drugs, there are also rewards doctors/hospitals receive from big pharma.

Big pharma visits doctor’s offices or hospitals bringing not only their drug literature but also free samples to get patients to take their drug, free lunches or dinners for the staff, vacations/conferences, and contests for prescribing the most. In other words, they give bribes and these bribes are readily accepted. The only ones not receiving much in the way of bribes are the patients themselves. A free sample or two is not much. It is the doctor who usually decides what brand of drug you will take because it is usually based upon what sales pitch is the strongest or in other words, which bribe is the most lucrative.

Pain relief is a big business at least here in the United States. You can walk into any store which sells over-the-counter medicines and various pain relieving compounds will take up one complete aisle. Unknown to many, these over-the-counter pain reliefs are not safe for us to take as often as is done. But that is okay as the medical community is standing by to offer their “cures” and to assist us in becoming a permanent passenger on the continuous roller coaster ride of healthcare treatment procedures. They know once you embark upon that journey, you will be a source of continued revenue.

Pain relief not needing a prescription is big business. Unfortunately, the medical community and big pharma also know that and have fine tuned their radar to profit from that information. From the moment you encounter any medical personnel from a EMT, a medical assistant, a tech, a nurse, or a doctor who are asked repeatedly about pain. They even use what they consider a universal pain rating scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the worse pain ever. If you have pain or they suspect you have pain and may not be admitting to it, you can expect to get “a little something to ease the pain.” This is the middleman at work. This is not to say there is not a need for pain relief but it is overused. The medical community seems to think that giving pain relief is the most important aspect in medical care. But who is most important to–the patient or the medical staff?

Going back to the experience my husband had is a good example of how pain relief can be misused. But who was it misused by? My husband had a heart attack. He was in pain. When I took him to the hospital, he was asked what his pain level was. I had given him a couple of aspirins and put muscle rub on him to help w/ the muscle spasms. He told them his pain level was around a 7 at home but upon arriving at the hospital it was around a 6. They said they would give him something for the pain. He told them he was very leery of pain killers and refused versed/benzos. as he was extremely sensitive to their side effects. The negative side effects included but not limited to raising/lowering his blood pressure, decreasing/increasing his breathing rate, nausea, prolonged impaired functioning abilities both mentally and physically to the point where he was basically in state of inaction, lethargy, tiredness, etc. as well as having prolonged effects lasting much longer than average. Versed/benzo. has made him loose memory from events not associated w/ the versed administered period and also has permanently altered his sleep patterns. They said they could give him a small dose of morphine. They also said nitro would help with the pain too. He looked at me and I told him he should take the morphine for the pain. However, we didn’t know they decided to give him 4mg of morphine which is more than what he should have had. We also did not know that for whatever reasons this hospital chose not to record what he had said about the negative efforts pain killers and versed/benzos have on him. Once he was given the morphine and nitro, his pain level was “a 1 or a dull ache” as he told them when asked. The ER doctor made note of this. As we were sitting there for the long wait for the “quickest” (it was not the quickest as a local EMT service should have been called for ground transport but the “quickest” was their service and the most expensive means) transport by helicopter, I could tell he was not in pain. He was very subdued and deep in thought as I was. When the helicopter crew arrived (let me interject this about the helicopter team–there were 3 of them who entered the ER bay–a nurse, an EMT, and the pilot. I can see the nurse and EMT but the pilot is unnecessary and he should not be privy to the patient’s personal health information as he is not medically involved but rather the driver of the vehicle), as I was sitting there, one of them asked him what his pain level was as don’t forget pain relief is the most important thing. My husband replied it was “a 1 or just a dull ache.” According to the medical records, it was recorded as an 8. For that to be true, he would have been on the floor rolling screaming in pain like I found him at home. He was not. Again, he was very subdued, breathing w/ effort like he had been for the past few months as he had been diagnosed incorrectly (now we know this) with bronchitis. He was not in pain. Once loaded into the helicopter they gave him noise reduction headphones to wear and he said they never asked him again about pain as he could not hear anything but the noise from the helicopter as it was so loud. However, they documented 2 more times his pain level was an 8. Again, he was calmly lying on the stretcher and not screaming and rolling on the floor in pain. Unknown to him and certainly without his consent, the helicopter medics gave him 100 mcg of fentanyl. The administering of the this excessive amount of fentanyl for someone who is extremely sensitive to the reactions of this type of drug is negligent and put him on the course for his abusive hospitalization experience.

Why was this done? Why did they falsify the records? Why do they so freely give opiates such as fentanyl? My husband did not want or need the fentanyl but they gave it to him without his consent or knowledge. It is clear why he was given fentanyl. He had not consented for the procedure the hospital wanted him to have. He wanted more information and for me to be involved when he arrived at the second hospital. They did not want this to happen so they chose to drug him to make him compliant and submissive as this is what fentanyl did. He actually told them it would severely impair his functioning abilities so they did it on purpose. He was isolated from me and I could not question what they were doing. They were able to do it without him knowing it. He thought he was loosing his mind because he had no clue as to why he was feeling like he was a spectator who was detached from what was happening and did not have the ability to call “cut” or stop the action. Drugs like fentanyl and versed are used to control. It makes their jobs easier because the patient does not interfere with what they plan to do.

As he made compliant by the helicopter crew to have a procedure he did not want or consent to, the cardiac cath lab personnel was there to give him versed and more fentanyl. Although he had personally had enough fentanyl to bring down an elephant, the cath lab needed to justify the administering of more drugs so they said he was in pain. He said he was not in pain. The result was life threatening as his blood pressure plummeted. But that was okay because they got to give him other drugs to fix that. Never mind, they also almost killed him by their negligence. They also labelled this crime as cardiogenic shock rather than negligence of giving him drugs that he had told them would have adverse effects. He was a man who was having a heart attack which destabilizes blood pressure giving him drugs he had told them would also destabilize his blood pressure (they also know that fentanyl and especially with the combination of versed has the possibility of doing this too) along with nitro which decreases blood pressure in addition to having right and left side involvement. They set a course to kill him but luckily didn’t succeed. For those interested, the use of versed and fentanyl is called conscious sedation. Versed is used primarily to erase memories, to make you submissive, and to encourage uninhibitiveness (which is another way of saying that when they have you naked for no reason, you will do nothing about it). Fentanyl does reduce pain but the cath is not painful but rather uncomfortable at the most for selected periods of time. It is not something the average person could not tolerable but the US medical community likes for their patients to be drugged so the medical staff has freedom to act however they choose and you won’t interfere or remember. An interesting fact is that in Europe, they generally use no type of painkiller or sedative for angiograms/angioplasty.

What the above story demonstrates is the lengths medical staff will go to give opiates. They are indeed the drug pushers. Big pharma might be the drug lords but the medical community certainly are the street level drug dealers. They are the ones who connect the average person to the drugs which eventually the addicted person will get any way they can. They do not care about the consequences they have caused. In fact, they have found a new way to profit from the opiate crisis they helped to created. They will now treat the addiction they caused. Of course, this treatment is a very lucrative revenue stream which is the reason there is an opiate crisis. Everything is about money, power, and control. Big pharma should not be the only ones paying the price for the opiate crisis. The doctors, hospitals, and nurses knew these drugs are addictive and were being over prescribed. Big pharma did not administer the drugs nor did they prescribe them. The drug dealers did that. Most addicts became addicted to these drugs through a medical encounter. It is time for the blame for this crisis to be shared by those actually pushing the drugs. In my husband’s case, those involved in forcing those drugs into his body should go to jail to serve time for physically shooting him up with opiates he did not want or consent to having. Is this the type of medical treatment we should have in the United States where medical providers can inject you with drugs against your will and then stand by as if they are innocent in the carnage they have helped to create?

Why Patient Dignity Is Not a Concern

What is patient dignity?  According to on nursing ethics and ethical issues in caring, it is a basic human right for all and fundamental to the well-being of every individual in all societies.  This article states that “dignity is fundamental to the well-being of every individual in all societies.  It is a basic human right for all….The concept of dignity has four defining attributes including respect, autonomy, empowerment, and communication.”  This article cites an analysis done by Griffin and Vanessa that “each of the four attributes consists of several dimensions:  Respect includes self-respect, respect for others, respect for peoples’ privacy, confidentiality and self-belief and belief in others.  Autonomy includes having choice, giving choice, making decisions, being able to make decisions, competence, rights, needs, and independence.  Empowerment includes a feeling of being important and valuable, self-esteem, self-worth, modesty, and pride.  Communication might be verbal or nonverbal and also includes explaining and understanding information, feeling comfort and giving time to the audience.   What is patient dignity?  According to on nursing ethics and ethical issues in caring, it is a basic human right for all and fundamental to the well-being of every individual in all societies.  This article states that “dignity is fundamental to the well-being of every individual in all societies.  It is a basic human right for all….The concept of dignity has four defining attributes including respect, autonomy, empowerment, and communication.”  This article cites an analysis done by Griffin and Vanessa that “each of the four attributes consists of several dimensions:  Respect includes self-respect, respect for others, respect for peoples’ privacy, confidentiality and self-belief and belief in others.  Autonomy includes having choice, giving choice, making decisions, being able to make decisions, competence, rights, needs, and independence.  Empowerment includes a feeling of being important and valuable, self-esteem, self-worth, modesty, and pride.  Communication might be verbal or nonverbal and also includes explaining and understanding information, feeling comfort and giving time to the audience.  

 At, the Ministry of Health and Medical Education- Patient’s rights 2002 goes on to say that, “Observing dignity and privacy is essential for establishing an effective relationship between the healthcare professionals and patients. It also is critical for maintaining patient’s serenity. In contrast, many harmful consequences would ensue if the patients’ dignity is not observed….”  7. Nayeri ND, Aghajani M. Patients’ privacy and satisfaction in the emergency department: a descriptive analytical study. Nurse Ethics went on to say that “Failure to comply the patients’ privacy (as a measure of dignity) may not only make the patients to conceal some aspects of their medical history, or refuse medical examination, but also would increase their level of anxiety and stress…”

The above would also apply to anyone involved in patient care whether they are a doctor, nurse, tech, emt, etc.

Most hospitals have a Patient Bill of Rights that guarantee without any exclusions to having to personal privacy, to exercise your rights while receiving care or treatment without coercion, to participate in the development and implementation of your plan of care, to be free from all forms of abuse or harassment, to expect visitation privileges not be restricted, limited, or otherwise denied…., to expect all visitors will enjoy full and equal visitation privileges…, to be free from physical or mental abuse…., and to expect that restraint or seclusion may only be imposed to ensure immediate physical safety of the patient….This is part of the Patient Bill of Rights from a Patient & Visitor Information Book of Franciscan Health Indianapolis and Mooresville.  There are also federal guidelines that mandate Patient Bill of Rights. ��

According to a Gallup poll ( in 2018 covering professional honesty and ethics, nursing again was number one.  Nurses rate higher than doctors, military, and clergy.  Why is this?  Could it be the public is not really aware of everything nurses may do or could it be the public is turning a blind eye?  After a recent hospitalization where some of the nursing staff were absolutely sexually abusive and violated most above noted items in the Patient Bill of Rights, I decided that information needs to be made public.

According to According to, more than 90% of nurses are female.   That means that if you are a male patient, most likely you will encounter a female nurse for intimate care.  If you are a male that wants only same gender care which you are entitled to have, it will probably not happen.  If you are a female patient, chances are your intimate care will be performed by a female nurse.  It is practically unheard of for a male nurse to provide intimate care for a female patient, especially if he is alone with her or if she is drugged.  For male patients, it is very common for this situation to happen.

Doctors only see patients for a fraction of the time that a nurse may spend with patient care duties.  During procedures, it is generally the nurse and/or techs that prep patients.  It is unheard of for a drugged female to be left alone with 4 male nurses/techs while prepping her exposed genital area.  However, it is standard practice for female nurses/techs to prep the genital area of a drugged male patient.  Are female nurses more trustworthy than male nurses/techs?  Do female nurses not exhibit any sexual feelings/desires  while all male nurses are viewed as being untrustworthy because they cannot separate their own sexual desires when left alone with an exposed, drugged female?  It is said that medical people view all genitals as just being another body part but is that really true?  There are plenty of cases in the newspapers and on the Internet saying otherwise.  Why is there greater care given to guarding the personal dignity of a female patient in general than that of a male?  What are some of the issues that may constitute sexual abuse?

The biggest area that constitutes sexual abuse is the unnecessary exposure of the genital region.  This may be done by a nurse/tech while prepping a patient for a procedure.  This may be done in an emergency room when they strip off the clothes of a patient while not covering them first with a gown, blanket, and/or drawing a curtain.  This may be done by a nurse in a patient room while performing an intimate task for a patient or examining an area close to the genital region.  Many nurses feel pushed for time so taking the extra second to provide patient dignity as they swore to in their nursing oath is not a priority for them.  However, for many patients they feel dehumanized by this type of action.  Although this dehumanization of a patient may not always be done as intentional act of harm, sometimes it is.  In any case, it is harmful to the mental well-being of the patient.

In a cardiac catheterization lab setting, many of the pieces of fluff literature says patient personal dignity is maintained at all times.  But what happens when it isn’t?  Most cath labs give a misleading cocktail of sedatives describing them as having the patient awake during the procedure.  The cocktail usually given is a combination of versed and fentanyl.  Versed is a drug that is supposedly used for anti-anxiety purposes but its real purpose in a medical procedure is it causes amnesia.  That is its main benefit to the medical people.  Fentanyl is painkiller which is 100 times stronger than morphine.  Most patients will be in a light sleep pattern and will be arouseable by verbal or touch stimulation.  Versed also makes patients less inhibited while fentanyl makes them generally more compliant or submissive. 

What this cocktail in fact does is gives the prep team the ability to perform the prep in a manner in which they choose.  Some may choose to maintain patient dignity while others may strip a patient’s clothes off of them and leave them exposed without a gown or blanket for the entire time up to draping.  Leaving a patient exposed makes their prep work easier.  However, there is generally no reason for the lower genital region to be exposed as they can use a medical garment called Covr which will cover the genital region while allowing them to do the femoral prep.  For females, to cover the nipple area , falsies could be used.  The female patient could apply those herself.  However, it is the sad fact that medical people on a whole do not care about the dignity of their patients.  This is why such sexually abusive behavior as the exposure of patients is allowed to continue.  They only care if it were them or their loved one.

As we age, the side effects of the drugs may become more pronounced and lingering.  It may take many hours, days, or sometimes not all the effects go away.  Patients being transferred from the cath lab to the Cardiac CCU may still not be able to defend themselves against sexual abuse.  Surgery patients also may not be able to defend themselves from sexual abuse.  Nurses in these areas know and can recognize the signs of altered levels of response from patients.  Some will take advantage of this. 

Many times during transfer, patients are exposed unnecessarily as keeping the patient’s dignity intact is not a priority.  Oftentimes, a gown may just be thrown on them from the procedure area.  This gown may fall off during the transfer from the gurney to the bed.  Not only is the patient exposed to those in the room but many times to people in the hallway.  If a patient needs a gown and bed linen change, this is usually done without regard to patient dignity.  In the cardiac ccu if the patient needs to remain flat, they will strip off the gown and blankets.  They will wash the patient and change the bedding all the while the patient will remain naked and uncovered while the nurse is turning the naked patient from side to side to change the bedding.  Eventually, she will re-gown the patient and cover the patient with a blanket.  However, the patient will most likely be exposed unnecessarily as the nurse does not care about the patient’s dignity.  The patient is exposed to everyone coming into the room and to people in the hallway. 

Patients may be exposed to registration clerks, phlebotomists, clergy, social workers, housekeeping, etc.  There is an attitude by medical staff that patient dignity is not a concern especially if the patient is drugged.  If a patient is drugged, the nurse figures they will not remember how they are treated.  Since many are drugged during the time when the exposure occurs, this may be why nursing is the most trusted profession.  There is a different attitude towards patients who are able to defend themselves against this type of abuse.  Nurses in units not dealing with patients who have been given mind altering medications tend to be more mindful about personal dignity issues. 

For those patients who have suffered sexual abuse at the hands of medical staff, the memory never fades and the trust is forever broken.  Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a common side effect from such abuse.  PTSD occurs more in patients who have been in a critical care unit.  Although the abuse that drug patients can remember is bad, it is often the abuse they do not remember as they were drugged that is really frightening.  There is always the thought of this is only what I remember so what else did they do to me that I don’t remember?  The exposure, the comments, the photos on a Smartphone, the being put on display to show others, who saw me, why did they do this to me—these are all questions a sexually abused patient will forever have on their mind.  A sexually abused will never trust any medical provider again as they now question their own ability of judgment as they never expected to be abused by the very people who were supposed to care and protect them when they were ill and vulnerable.  It may cause them to no longer seek medical care or hospitalization especially if a loss of control is involved.  It is beyond sad and sick when medical people abuse those who need care and are in an extremely vulnerable state.

Every patient needs an advocate to look out for them.  This advocate should not be an employee of a hospital as they are only going to protect the hospital.  An advocate is especially needed if there are drugs like versed, fentanyl, or any other drugs that alter mental capability involved.  Don’t allow yourself or your loved ones to become a victim of a personal dignity crime.  Take it from me, the pit in your throat and stomach along with the pressure lying on your chest never goes away.  The suffering for letting the abuse happen to them and seeing what damage it does to them forevermore will never go away or get any better.  The months since the medical and sexual assault have only grown worse for him.  He spends more and more sleepless nights thinking about what they did and what abuse might come if he would be hospitalized again.  Is this the kind of result modern medicine is so proud of?

What Caused and Is the Effect of Our PTSD

What does Post-Traumatic (Hospitalization) Stress Disorder (PTSD) feel like?  It feels like helplessness, hopelessness, rage, and guilt.  To be victimized by people that were supposed to be compassionate, caring, trustworthy, skilled, and etc. is devastating beyond any words or imagination.  If a total stranger were to victimize me or my husband, we would have an easier time reconciling their actions.  But to be victimized by medical people during one of times of greatest time of pain and suffering, the results are just devastating.  How could be people who are being paid to help commit such atrocities? 

My husband keeps it in a little too much as he does not want to burden me with his suffering.  Sometimes, though, he breaks down.  It is heartbreaking to hear him tell his story.  He feels very guilty that he had the heart attack which is what lead to the abuse.   He didn’t know that at the time he was suffering abuse that I too was suffering abuse in another form.  He has said that he wished the heart attack had killed him outright at home so all of this hospital abuse could have been avoided and I wouldn’t had to suffer their abuse.   He has said if he had only known.

It is not that either of us has not been in the hospital before as we have been.  He is a prostate cancer survivor so he has had intimate care level before given by female nurses/techs.  He has had an operation to which he fully gave consent to and the needed care afterwards.  The hospital he was at allowed me to be present during his pre-op, PACU, and transfer to his patient room procedure.  They made it clear they welcomed me to spend the night with him.  In fact, they encouraged it and made me feel welcomed.   When I was hospitalized, my husband was present.  He spent the night as they told him he was welcomed.  Both of us have had care by opposite sex caregivers who have acted appropriately and with compassion.  Both of us have had procedures done in the past with actual informed consent being given. 

How the care is delivered is the defining difference.  At the college hospital, we thought his care was being delivered in a compassionate and trustworthy manner.  We thought they were writing down his issues with painkillers and his instructions about having no Versed or benzos.  We didn’t know they were, in fact, ignoring very crucial information as to the negative side effects these medicines cause especially given that at that time, he had just had a heart attack.  We never dreamed their desire for him to have these medicines would overwhelm the need not to put him in a direr medical situation.  It never entered our minds they would ignore a man who had just had a heart attack who told them that painkillers and especially Versed/benzos cause his blood pressure to raise/lower, his breathing to decrease/increase, to fully incapacitate him, make him nausea, and cause him to remain in that state for an extended period of time.  We thought having a heart attack would make them proceed with extreme caution in giving him drugs which could make his condition deteriorate.   We did not know that the medical air ambulance would commit assault and battery on him to drug him with fentanyl when he was not actually in pain and did not consent to fentanyl.  We did not even consider that any of these medical “professionals” would lie or omit items to cover their asses.  We had put our trust in them and they failed us as we later found out. 

At Rancidcan, we did not know he would arrive having been assaulted by the air ambulance team in a drugged manner.  We did not know that I would not be allowed to see him or be part of the medical decision making effort.  We did not know that he would not be allowed to be part of the medical decision making effort.  We did not know that one or both of the medical entities had already made decisions as to what was going to happen to him.  We did not know that College Hospital had sent papers to Rancidcan , a Catholic hospital on record opposing LGBT issues, stating my husband had a husband—me his totally female wife of over 30 years.  We did not know that because of the fentanyl, my husband would be rendered incapable to defend himself against what was about to happen. 

Although all medical records state my husband was alert to person, place, and event he does not remember them ever talking to him about what they were going to do.  If they asked him he knew why he was there, he would have responded with a yes as he thought he was there for them to go over what College Hospital had done and maybe do a more thorough evaluation.  He never dreamed that he was there to have an invasive procedure done with any consultation with him or me.  We both thought they were going to explain his options of what they could do and we together, he and I, would decide.   Informed Consent cannot be given when a person is naked; lying on the table where the procedure is performed while they are being prepped for the procedure, and/or when drugged (4mg morphine and 100mcg fentanyl).  That is called being coerced.  Informed Consent was not given as neither of us remembers it being done at either hospital.  They, in fact, knew it had not been done.  They entered into their computer system as being done but 5 minutes later 2 of the cath. lab nurses signed it saying he had given verbal consent.  He disagrees.  In any case, consent cannot be coerced but in this case, they did not give it as there are many points he would have disagreed with if consent had been verbally explained not mention he would not have agreed to have something as major as this done without talking with me.  He would have never agreed to pictures being taken during any procedure, he wouldn’t have agreed to spectators, students, sales representatives being present, he wouldn’t have agreed to versed or any memory altering drug, he wouldn’t have agreed for his information to be used other than for purposes dictated by government or insurance, and he would have questioned the risks, radiation and side effects.  These are the standard things he would have had issues with and would have challenged.  However, they are no challenges to these items listed on the consent form they signed.  Furthermore, due to the drugs, he was not legally capable of giving consent.  Ethically, he was not able to give consent.  Physically and mentality, he was incapable of giving consent due to the drugs.  There is no way they could have gone through the 3-page consent form and a severely drugged man have understood it.  There is no way they could have given him all the risks and rx medication risks like they stated.  There wasn’t time and he even so, he wouldn’t agreed.  They lied about consent to force him to have a procedure which is a complete money making venture to them to around the tune of $300,000.  It is no wonder they lie/coerce having such a large financial incentive–easy victim, easy money.  The ethical aspect of medical people going rogue and abusive is simply mind-blowing. 

He feels violated beyond imagination they performed a procedure on him that he did not want even to this day.  The consequences of this procedure are devastating.  He now has to live with two foreign pieces of mental in him that continuously remind him and me of what they done.  These stents also cause permanent damage to his arteries by making them constantly sending plaque to the area to heal where the metal is chafing the artery.  That is why he must forever take medicine because this is a forever side effect.  Eventually, the plaque will build up there again.  The medicine also has unacceptable side effects.  The cure was not a cure but actually give him additional conditions which are just as bad as the original heart attack.

Although we both feel guilty and victimized by putting our trust in College Hospital and the air ambulance service, what follows is where the majority of our issues arise.  Having said this, if the air ambulance had not committed assault and battery on him by giving him the fentanyl, he would have been capable of defending himself and making sure that things did not happen as they actually did.  By giving him fentanyl, they in essence, made him trapped inside of his mind thus allowing Rancidcan the freedom to abuse and violate.  How he felt after the fentanyl is similar to what a stroke victim may feel as they are aware of what is going on but unable to verbalize or turn their thoughts into actions.  He was also horrified, scared, humiliated, and alone.  He felt as if he didn’t matter or have any say.  He felt powerless.  They made him feel like he was nothing—didn’t matter—an object.  The heart attack was scary but he thought he was going to okay and he had dealt with cancer in the past so he knew he could deal with a heart attack.  He wasn’t prepared to deal with the standard of care.

My guilt comes from knowing that he was stripped naked by 4 females in a room full of others such as the air ambulance people, registry clerk, and whoever else was present.  This was done against his will and without permission.  Because of what they done and how they did it, they demonstrated they had no respect for my husband as a human who had a life.  They cared nothing that in their disrespect and disregard of his basic right to freedom of choice and dignity, they have endangered his overall health.  They cared nothing about making sure what they did caused no future harm.  They probably never have considered their actions to be as harmful as physically harming a person.  Because of their actions, he lives everyday with the stress of their actions deeply stamped in his mind.  His dealings with all medical providers are now stressful and he distrusts them immensely.  The literature they give to heart attack survivors is to make their lives stress free but that is now impossible because medical people add nothing but stress to his life not to mention for me too. 

He remembers feeling horrified that they stripped him without his permission and left him naked without a gown or blanket.  They acted as though he was not human.  They wadded his clothes into a pink haz-mat bag for some strange reason as they were not soiled.  They treated his clothes as trash just as they treated him as trash—not worth common using common respect or protecting his dignity.  Not worth letting him decide his treatment but rather a chance to make money and for them to be totally in control over a man.  It must have really have given them a thrill to abuse an older, critically male.  They probably do this as payback for the bad attitudes of the male doctors.  It must make them feel better to abuse defenseless males.  He doesn’t remember any of those cold-hearted women speaking to him in a reassuring manner.  He remembers wanting to be covered up and also being cold and scared.  He didn’t know what they were doing and why he needed to be naked.  It was his chest where his heart is—it is not in his genital region.  He remembers them shaving him although he is not hairy and they didn’t say why it was being done as he remembers wondering why they were shaving him.  He remembers hearing them talking and laughing amongst themselves but no one communicated to him.  He remembers hearing them talk about sending a chaplain to me.  He remembers thinking is he that bad or is he in the process of dying and please do not send a chaplain to me but they had rendered him incapable of vocalizing his thoughts.  The fentanyl left him able to respond to their questions but unable to vocalize his own thoughts.  He remembers them inserting 2 more IVs into him even though he already had 2 in him from College Hospital that were still working when he arrived at Rancidcan.  (They make no note of adding these 2 IVs.)  He remembers how cold the room was as he was lying there totally exposed.  He felt violated.  He felt they did not respect his right to personal dignity.  He just wanted it to end.  He said he remembers wanting to see me so he would know everything would be okay.  He wondered if I had agreed to something he didn’t know about and if what was happening to him was the result.  He wondered what they were doing to him.  He wanted me to protect him from them and he wondered why I hadn’t come in to see him.

He remembers seeing all the equipment and wondering what it is all for and what are they going to do with him as he hadn’t talked to me yet so we could decide.  He remembers them finally putting the drapes over him.  He remembers seeing things on the monitors.  He remembers being told he is going to feel pressure.  He remembers the pressure actually felt as if he had been ran over by a semi and it was sitting on him.   He remembers hearing them talk and laugh during whatever they were doing to him.  He remembers being scared that he didn’t know what was happening and that nobody seemed to care.  He remembers being very cold.  He remembers the coldness eventually made him start shivering/trembling uncontrollably.  He remembers being scared and feeling alone. 

He remembers after whatever they were doing to him that he was still laying on the table that they air ambulance personnel had placed him on.  He remembers having the drapes removed and once again he was laying there naked, exposed, and cold.  (Nakedness is a method of torture used to humiliate and control prisoners.)  He remembers a female voice telling him they were going to suture and it would hurt.  He said he briefly wondered what they needed to suture before he felt the extreme, horrible pain of the suturing (which upon reading his medical records, we found they had chosen not to use any numbing agent).  He received suturing in 3 different areas.  He wondered why they wanted to hurt him so badly.  He said he wanted to leave and see me.  He just wanted them to leave him alone.  He wanted to be covered up and not be exposed.  But this was not the end to the abuse/torture he would have to suffer at the hands of a religious hospital’s employees.

To add to his and my misery, pain, and guilt—I was being put through my own form of torture.  Even though I arrived at Rancidcan before they started their procedure on him, they did not consult with me.  In fact, after I asked for him at the ER desk, I was made to wait an extremely long take before they would acknowledge he was even at the hospital.  They made me believe he had died.  They said they couldn’t find record of him being admitted.  Probably because he was being processed at that time I was inquiring about him.  They told me to stand aside to an area about 10 feet away for the desk.  Eventually about much whispering another person arrived at the desk and after more whispering, one of the women yelled over to the area where my son and I were standing that “a chaplain would come and take us to where he was.”  Everyone in the ER waiting got silent and just looked at us.  I know they too thought whoever we were there for had died.  We were in shock.  When he had left with the air ambulance, he had been stabilized and was in no pain.  How could he have died?  I was in complete and utter shock—numbed.  After waiting about another 15 minutes, a sober looking man in a brown suit arrived.  As we were walking away from that area of onlookers, I asked the chaplain where he was taking us.  He said to the cath lab waiting room.  That made sense as College Hospital said that might be one of the possibilities that we would need to consider.  It didn’t occur to me that he might be already having a procedure as I knew that he would want to discuss it with me before he would agree to anything.  That is the way our marriage works.    Once we got back there, the chaplain sat down next to our son.  I could see that having the chaplain there agitated my son and it did me too as we could not talk to each other.  I wanted to talk to my son before I would be called back to consult with my husband as to what his best course of treatment would be.  I eventually told the chaplain very politely that we didn’t need him to stay.  He said it was his job.  I again told him we didn’t need him to stay.  He refused to leave.  I was upset but I could see my son was really upset so I decided not to make a scene with the chaplain as it would not have went well.  I was puzzled by why it was taking so long to see my husband but I didn’t want the chaplain involved in our business as he was an unwanted presence.  Another form of recognized torture is making the family wait for long periods without any information.

Eventually, his device sounded.  He answered it, got up, put it on speaker phone, and walked into a public hallway.  As he was walking away, I could hear the person at the other end of the line (I assume the cath lab) asking him if he was with the family of First Last Name.  They then proceeded into a conversation with him that took a few minutes.  After talking with whomever, he came back and said my husband was still back in the cath lab.  This scenario happened again and it played out the same way.  The third time it happened, he said he would take us to talk with the doctor.  Finally, I thought.

As we were entering the doctor consultation room, I turned to the chaplain (thinking finally I could be rid of him), that I did not want him in the room and he should leave.  Again, he refused and entered the room to hear even more of my husband’s private, personal health information that we did think he had any right to and did not want privy to having.  He just sat there while the doctor was talking.  I was so angry that I was numb.  I couldn’t imagine why we were being punished by that man’s presence. 

The doctor finally entered.  I don’t know if his behavior was due to his background but he certainly was rude and acted as if he didn’t want to be bothered with giving this interview with a woman.  In fact, he said he was tired and since it was a Saturday night, he would have rather been home.  He went to say that he had done a procedure on my husband.  I was floored.  He said he had put 2 stents in him and that he had cardiogenic shock and was critically ill.  (Actually what this doctor stated was cardiogenic shock does not meet the definition of cardiogenic but rather it fits into what we stated would happen when he takes painkillers or versed.  By the time he had this shock, he had received 4 mg morphine, 175 mcg of fentanyl and 2 mg of versed.  It was a wonder he was still breathing.  They could have killed him with their reckless and negligence.)  He then said he had a video to show but was unable to work the computer.  I was hoping his lack of technical skill wasn’t also reflected in the procedure he had just done on my husband.    He said he was tired and did I really need to see the video and did I have any questions.   Since the intruder was present, the doctor was rude and uncaring, and since I was numbed to my very core, I simply said no.  What in the world was going on?   Had my husband given his consent and why?  That was totally out of character for him.  The intruder then said they would be wheeling my husband out so we could look at him before they took him to a room.

About 10 minutes later, two women came out with him on a gurney.  At first look, I could tell my husband was heavily drugged.  Normally, he would have reached for my hand.  He did not.  The thing that I remember most about this parading of the prisoner routine that most captors do is the expression on the faces of these two women.  The shorter, fatter one had an expression of contempt, of hatefulness, and general bad will that completely took me aback.  (I have since done some investigative work and her social media page shows a picture of a woman that looks like a streetwalker out of a 70’2 movie with the grotesque make-up.  She is truly a scary looking creature for someone to see while they are completely vulnerable and under her control.)With her hostile look, I didn’t dare look at the other as intently but I could see her mean expression.  I just felt like collapsing and crying on the floor.  All I could think about was my poor husband having to have them to care for him.  It was no wonder he felt so scared.  Having to look at them would have scared me too. I felt so upset and powerless.  They stood there talking to themselves while the intruder hung at our side.  I could tell they had thrown a gown on my husband as it was not really on him.  He barely acknowledged our presence.  I really dislike this parading of the prisoner by the captives so this encounter as it was not private only lasted a couple of seconds.  This ritual is barbaric as is when the doctor comes down off of his throne to talk to the poor peasant.  How thrilled we should be to have him grace us with his godlike attitude like he performs some miracle instead of merely doing a job he is being paid to do.  They are not miracle workers nor do they really care at least not in this case.  Rather I think they would have been happier if he had died before he was able to disrupt their Saturday night.  At least, this is the impression those cold-hearted B_tches and that B_stard gave.  The doctor gave a semi apology for any harm he and the cath lab heifers may have done but we do not accept his apology as the harm has been done and words mean nothing.  Their actions, on the other hand, have made a lasting impression.

The intruder told us he would lead us to the waiting room upstairs as neither my son nor I apparently had enough education to read signs and find our way there.  Once there, the intruder said he was leaving for a while but would return.  He never did.  He said before he left that it would take less than 30 minutes for the secret ceremony that happens when captors settle prisoners into their cell and then they would allow us to see him.  At this time, it felt like the intruder was our warden and that the hospital was my husband’s captors. 

Over two hours later and without any word, (isolation is a method that is used as torture), we were still waiting.  I was completely and probably irreversibly numbed by this point.  I was at or maybe I had had my breaking point.  My blood pressure was sky-high and my type 1 diabetic son’s glucose levels had risen during the evening to a scary point.  (It is ironic that one quack doctor tried to make my husband a diabetic as his blood glucose level had been tested and it was high.  However, that doctor was a graduate of a foreign school of dentistry and apparently they did not teach them that during extremely stressful situations like having a heart attack, stress, and having ate a high carb meal that was not digested properly as it was interrupted by the heart, like giving someone a blood sugar test when they have not fasted is likely to result in high blood glucose levels.  I am not a doctor but even I know this.  In fact, because of their actions I was watching my son struggle with his blood sugar levels rising because of their torture of us.  This quack made my husband’s insurance pay $90—you can buy over 100 of the better strips for that amount– for every test strip they used and ordered insulin for him to take while in the hospital.  That quack is should not be able to practice his quackery on humans.)  Finally, he said he was going to nab the next person he heard coming or going.  He had had enough.  A few minutes later, he sprung to his feet so fast I didn’t know it until he had actually collared someone.

As I was getting up, before he could identify himself or what he wanted, the nurse (with dark brown hair whom we later found out was the one asking stupid questions) started laughing as she was saying, “I was coming to get you.  I just came from his room.” (How did she know who he/we were?)  Still laughing, she went on to say, “I am not his nurse.  I was just helping his nurse as she had trouble hooking up his machines.  She was overwhelmed and had a room full of people helping her.  I will let you in these doors and his is the last room on the left.”  With that she buzzed us in and left, still laughing.  At this point, I was so relieved to find out he was still alive that I didn’t question her about the laughter but was puzzled by it.  However, my puzzlement shouldn’t have lasted long after what I was about to witness but with all the mental traps that had been used on me that evening, I wasn’t alert at that time to what I was about to witness. 

I will never forget what I saw when I entered the room.  I will never forgive myself for being so mentality drained and numbed that I did not spring into action.  NEVER WILL I FORGIVE MYSELF. 

My husband’s room was directly in line with the double doors we had been sitting by in the waiting room with our backs toward.  We had seen and heard many people going in and out of those doors but we didn’t know it was for him.  We didn’t know from those doors you could see into his room.

As we started to enter the room and it had a long entrance, my son said he had forgotten his diabetic supplies consisting of his insulin, meter, and needles.  I told him to hurry and find it before someone else did.  He left so I entered the room alone.  What I saw will forever be burned into my memory.  I know now what I witnessed.  Then I was just too numb to it to register through everything that I had endured.

Once I was to the main part of the room, I could see this nurse with long, blond hair that was pulled back.  (I should say bleached blond hair that resembled straw.  On her social media sites, besides drinking being her favorite hobby, she fancies herself to be a Southern Belle with movie star looks.).  She was turned towards a computer that she was working on.  My husband had his eyes closed laying on the bed.  That in itself was not odd.  What is forever burned into my mind is that he was laying there with his gown above his navel and his blanket around his knees.  As I said the nurse was working on the computer slightly turned at an angle but as I entered she turned with a laugh/smile on her face until she must have realized I wasn’t whom she had expected.  She quickly recovered and told me I had to leave as she then pulled up his blanket.  My husband awoken as I was asking her why I needed to leave since I was his wife.  She had a questioning look on her face and again asked me who I was to which I replied I was his wife.  She asked me for my name.  I told her I was Mrs. Last Name.  She said she needed my first name.  I looked at my husband and he had that look of “oh, no” because even in his fog he knows I do not like for medical people to assume they have the right to call me by my first name, so I told her without making a fuss.  She then told me to spell it.  All the time she was looking at her computer screen to try to verify who I was.  Up to this point, the Catholic hospital thought they were dealing with a gay man with a husband.  Her computer screen must have verified my name spelling (as the medical records listed me as a husband but had my first name spelled correctly).  She started laughing again and said she didn’t know how to examine him without exposing him.  She then started to laugh harder and exclaimed that she had figured it out by pulling his blanket up between his legs to cover his penis.  It didn’t strike me until the next day how her behavior was so odd.  For one time, was she a new nurse that never had been involved in patient care?  If so, what was she doing in a cardiac critical care unit?  Furthermore, did she not go to nursing school where they teach patient care and take the oath of protecting patient dignity?  Would not have the better solution been to pull his gown down between his legs so the blanket could have been lifted to view one side or the other?  I now know it was her plan to go back to exposing him once I left.  He verified that she did.  He was still very drugged and unable to respond unless prompted.  He was afraid to say anything as he knew he was defenseless against them.  He didn’t know what had happened but he knew something had.  He really had no idea that he had had a major invasive procedure done and the result would affect the rest of his life. 

As my son entered, she was saying she had had trouble hooking up his machines (the ones needed to take stress off his heart) and the room had been full of techs.  It did not occur to me at that time that she had left my husband exposed to the room full of techs, the person who draws blood, and possibly the chaplain intruder.  She had admitted she didn’t know how not to expose him.  Later, after research, I have found out she has been a nurse for over ten years.  So in all the ten year period, she didn’t know how not to exposed a patient’s genitalia for prolonged periods of time?  Once we received the medical records, it became evident that during this over 2 hours period, she had made my husband use the urinal and performed perineal care in front of a room full of people.  He remembers this now.  He feels violated and sexually abused by this monster’s behavior.  This monster nurse had completely violated my husband’s right to personal dignity that is guaranteed by federally mandated guidelines and the hospital’s Patient Bill of Rights.  She also violated her oath of nursing to preserve a patient’s dignity.  She willfully and maliciously violated him to the point of sexual abuse.  Not only did she do it with a room full of people while he was still heavily under the influence of fentanyl and versed (the one he refused), but what was she and the laughing nurse doing alone in the room with my drugged and vulnerable husband?  What was so funny in the cardiac critical care room of a drugged man that lasted for hours?  This is not a case of being embarrassed because a female nurse will see or has seen Little Willy.  It is a case of a monster nurse sexually harassing a male patient who has been rendered vulnerable and defenseless by drugs, an illness, and a medical procedure. 

We only stayed for a few minutes as the nurse told us we were outside of visiting hours.  She never mentioned that I could have stayed overnight with him.  She never gave us any information except we would need a patient code to talk with my husband.  She said if I lost the number she wrote down, we would not be allowed to have contact with him.   My husband was not responsive unless prompted and I could tell he was heavily drugged.  When I asked if he was sleepy he said no but he kept his eyes closed as if he was in another universe.  Since the nurse didn’t seem to want us there and my husband was unresponsive and needed rest, we left.  My son was physically unable at that time to drive home alone as his blood sugar levels were through the roof.  He was so confused he said maybe he should get a coke for energy.  He hasn’t had a coke in the 3 years since he was diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic.  We were there about ten minutes around 4am and stayed a number of hours visiting with him.  The nurse lied and falsified my husband’s medical records saying we were there around 3am and that she had educated us about all aspects of his treatment and care.  This nurse proved she was a liar.  What else is or was she capable of?  What was wrong with her?  Does she like to sexually abuse vulnerable male patients?  Is she one the over 20% of medical workers with an addiction problem?  Or was it just my husband because of this “gay” label that she and the others decided to abuse?  

My husband remembers being transferred into the room from the gurney.  The cath. lab had just thrown a gown over him.  When the blond nurse saw in CCU saw the gown, her first priority became changing the gown.  She said it was the wrong gown for the CCU area.  So her first priority was not to hook up his life saving equipment but to change his gown.  However, during transfer from gurney to the bed, whether the gown fell off on its own or rather the blond nurse helped it off, the gown fell off leaving him once again totally exposed to the females nurses without any thought to his personal dignity.  They did not cover him up as the blond nurse went off in search of the “correct” gown.  After all, having a gown on from the cath lab of the same hospital is a national emergency situation.   My husband remembers being exposed almost constantly during the time he spent with this monster molester nurse.  He remembers the room full of people and being made to urinate in front of them and having her clean him up in front of them.  He was humiliated beyond endurance.  He remembers laying there exposed while the laughing nurse asked him questions like was he sexually abused.  Not by me but by them as it turns out.  Still naked, have you travelled outside of this country.  What color is your poop?  The abuse inflicted was incredible and almost unbelievable.  Why was wrong with this hospital.  Why do they allow their nurses to sexually abuse their patients?  Why do they drug their patients?  Why do they isolate their patients?  Why do they act in such a secretive manner?  Why do they make patients prisoners and control them?  Why are they so horrible? 

However, the abuse did not stop once I left.  The blond nurse let him be in pain from the groin wounds and suturing.  She let him become nauseated to the point of vomiting even though he had been prescribed a drug to stop the nausea.  He remembers throwing up down his left side when he was lying almost flat.  He remembers her once again stripping off his gown and leaving him exposed when she cleaned him up and changed his bed.  His genital region should have been covered but she certainly didn’t view him as a human being that had the right to be treated with dignity and she had the responsibility to protect and to treat him with dignity.  She truly is a horrible and despicable person.  He never again wants any female nursing/tech to be involved where he may have genital exposure and really that mean almost never because he was expected this to happen.  This never was an issue in the past but now it is one that is forever a lasting effect of his mistreatment.  He will refuse care by any female where genital exposure is done as he suffered sexual abuse at the hands of females during this hospitalization.

Once this nurse was off duty, no more sexual abuse happened.  That doesn’t mean that Rancidcan was more competent or compassionate because they weren’t.  It just means he was able to defend himself.  His medical records are full of their mistakes like one of the cath lab heifers who was the recorder of events even though she may no longer have a valid alcohol license may have a drinking issue as she could not remember what procedure they had inflicted upon him 2 minutes after it officially ended.  He also had a couple of male nurses who seemed to willing to protect his personal dignity and acted more compassionately.  He said although the effects of the drugs made his mind foggy for a week afterwards, his main goal was to get out of that hospital any way he could.  I told him about what had happened to me but at that time he couldn’t process it and said he needed to concentrate on his escape from that hellhole.  He knew though what I had suffered and told me not to be there as he was worried about the harm they had done.  I in turn was worried about the harm they had done to him.   It wasn’t until he came home that we realized what had happened to both of us.  It became clearer over time with him remembering and slowly being able to finally talk about what he endured.  I was able to entirely share with him what I endured.  Both of us have an incredible amount of guilt for what the other has been through.  Neither of us at this time will seek hospital care again if it means being an inpatient prisoner.

No one really knows the damage something like this causes unless you have suffered torture and abuse especially from someone or an institution that is supposed to protect you.  I now have a better understanding of what rape victims suffer—the control of the abuser that affects their very soul and how personal that violation is.  I now better understand the boys who have been molested by Catholic priests whom supposedly represent all that is good.  It rips your very being into shreds.  It makes you question everything.  It makes you trust no one.

My husband, at this time, will not agree to any more emergency type care.  He does not trust ambulance personnel nor does he trust hospitals.  He will not have anything done medically if I cannot be present without him.  He no longer will go anywhere if I am not with him.  He does not want to become their victim again.  He has issues falling asleep and staying asleep.  Whether these issues are from the long term side effects of versed (it can change how the brain functions and responds to sleep patterns forever), we don’t know.  He only has light sleep whereas before his sleep pattern was much deeper.  When he does fall asleep, he has nightmares about what happened.  He gets very quiet at times.  He thinks about their abuse of him and their abuse of me. 

For me, this is always on my mind.  I know with the procedure that done on him that it is very likely to cause major issues and/or the medicine that forced upon him because of the procedure also cause issues.   I cannot forgive myself for what I call his rape at the hands of the medical community.  My nightmares are very vivid.  I have dreams of the blond nurse for example:  she picks up a baby chicken and spreads its legs and wings apart.  Then, laughing, she suddenly takes her thumb and forefinger and squashes its neck.  I dream that we are different places and the cath lab nurses appear and chase my husband so they can harm him.  I cannot watch tv because if there is anything to do with Rancidcan or nurses, I get upset.  I cannot travel where I live without seeing their signs about having heartfelt moments for $49.  I feel sorry and upset for anyone who thinks this hospital actually cares about the people they may treat.  The heart billboard is especially upsetting.  It is personal.  They have no heart.   I usually give it the finger like I do whenever I see anything associated with either of these hospitals.  We both become upset when we hear an ambulance helicopter flying overhead because we know they may be committing assault and battery on a person who already is seriously ill/injured.  I used to love the weekends but now Saturday nights and early Sunday morning just make me live through what happened minute by minute again and again.  I loathe this time.  My husband no longer wants to be in our family room on a Saturday night where the heart attack happened so as not to begin this series of events again.  Both of us no longer take pleasure in the things that we did before we the torture and abuse.  We fear medical people and the power they took from us making us their prisoner once we enter their doors.  Entering a medical facility’s doors take a lot for us as they now have condemned him to lifetime of medical interference.  They seemed angry that he was healthy, not diabetic and did not have any symptoms of heart disease prior to his heart attack.  They put in “quotes” they he had had prostate cancer as if they didn’t believe him.  He did not take any prescription drugs even though he was in his mid-60”s.  They made sure now he does.  In fact, his rx for statin was the highest dose prescribed even though his cholesterol levels were well with the high normal range. He didn’t have high blood pressure but they made sure he now has to take a pill made from poison.  They say don’t drink gas but blood pressure pills are made from gas additives.   I assume that doctors do whatever they can to make sure all older people are on prescription medicines as they know the more medicines, the more they have different conditions stemming from the medicines, and the more the patient has to see the doctor and be prescribed more medicines. It is a win-win except for the patient who gets caught in a cycle of greed and malicious treatment.

It was not the heart attack that made us this way but rather the people and institutions whom tortured and abused us.  We are grateful they did not kill him with all their torture and abuse.  However, what they have taken from us by forcibly performing a procedure on him without consent and the subsequent abuse has let us not in better shape from their administrations but in worse shape.  I think there is a medical oath about doing no harm but apparently that medical oath is not taken or if it is, it is only lip service.  They have also put us into a place where we must work through the PTSD on our own as we do not trust them.  Why would we seek treatment for PTSD from the very people that harmed us?  We did not expect to be harmed by them and so trust is forever broken.

The Unmentioned Hospitalization Ilness

It has been more than 6 months since my husband had a heart attack.  The mental anguish both of us suffer has not gotten any easier.  We have finally been able to give our mental anguish a name—Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  We were not warned this could be an outcome.

Let me clarify.  In the literature the hospital put in my husband’s fold and later in cardiac rehabilitation, they said he might become depressed that he had had a heart attack.  That is not why either of us became depressed.  He had prostate cancer in his early 50’s and that was really a hard one to accept but we did.  The C word is an ugly one but we survived, made adjustments, and life went on.

Late last summer, he suffered a heart attack.  He was healthy otherwise.  He did not have high cholesterol, diabetes, or high blood pressure.  In other words, he was a healthy man who had a heart attack.  Even though I am not religious, I knew he would be okay.  It was just a feeling I had that I cannot explain.  I got him to the hospital as soon as I realized what was going on despite him saying it was nothing.  For both of us, it was not the heart attack that has caused the PTSD but rather the medical community. 

I want to share our story of what brought about for us both to suffer from PTSD.  I have in other blogs, told some of our story.  I will tell some of what my husband is feeling but I will deal mostly with my PTSD.  I would have never thought that as a spouse of someone who was hospitalized, that I too would suffer from PTSD.  Of course, I would have never thought about someone whom is a patient getting PTSD from hospitalization.  It is not something the hospital makes you aware of even in all their CYA literature. 

We knew that each of us was deeply affected by what had to him.  In talking, we both realized it was not the heart attack in itself.   Rather it was all the things that happened because of the heart attack.  We came to realize that both of our PTSD was centered on the standard of care/treatment we each had endured during his hospital experience.  We each suffered through different issues but some were overlapping.  We knew we were suffering but was not able to identify what we were suffering from until I talked in length of MadManBanterings or Archie Banterings who is an expert on hospital related issues. 

I described some of the thoughts and feelings we were suffering from and Archie said he thought it sounded like PTSD.  He had links to articles on PTSD and I have done a lot more intensive research.  After months of both of living with something we had no clue of having, what we have finally has a name.  Just knowing has been a big relief for us.

In my next article, I will go through the definition of PTSD and how hospitalization can attribute to this disease.  I will also from time to time blog on our thoughts in living with this disorder. c=d.hea

Hospital Sanctioned Sexual Abuse

A brief word before I start.  I am not going cite a bunch of studies and articles.  That is not to say that I cannot back up my comments because I can but to me, it is distracting to have to read all of the works cited.  This is mostly my opinion from real life experiences and from what articles I have read.  As I build my website, I will be listing various articles and studies that you may review on your own.


While it true that when we have medical encounters, we can expect at some time that we may have to expose our breasts, vaginas, testicles, or penises.  However, what we don’t anticipate is the manner in which this may be done, why it is being done, and to whom is viewing our nudity.  What many people don’t understand is the complete lack of sensitivity, compassion, and lack of respect for basic human dignity that many hospital workers have.

I have read that nursing is the most trusted profession.  I am absolutely stunned!  Do people really think that?  Why would they think that?  Could it be that burying our heads in the sand and pretending that nurses are not capable of sexually inappropriate behavior?  Could be denying that those 20 something nurses and techs are not creatures that have sexual desires?  Could we also be denying that like most humans they view are genitals in a sexual manner while they are doing their jobs of prep?  Are we that naïve that we don’t realize that when we are laying there naked and drugged that they are taking inventory and making their own private inventory of us?

There are many articles about male nurses/techs sexually assaulting female patients.  However, it is rare to see such a story about a female nurse/tech.  Why is that?  Is it because females don’t have sexual feelings and act on them?  Is it because in real life females never initiate sexual contact?  Of course, that is not the case especially in today’s age of everything goes and is allowed if you are of the female gender.  Or could it be that males have been subjected to having to have intimate care given by female nurses/techs for years and that society has told them this is acceptable and men do not complain about their personal dignity being abused?

I am female and I have had male doctors.  I like male doctors even less than female doctors but I tolerate them.  However, I have never been in the position of being drugged and defenseless with a male doctor or a room full of male nurses/techs.  For male patients, this scenario is common.  During the course of their lifetime, the overwhelming majority of males will at some point, be naked, drugged, and probably have their memory of the event purposely erased.  They may even remember being in the midst of an all-female team of nurses/techs, naked and exposed.

For anyone undergoing surgery or a heart catheterization procedure, it is scary.  But also what is scary that is either sugar-coated or glossed over is the amount of unnecessary exposure that all patients have to endure.  The even scarier part is that most patients are given drugs like Versed whose primary purpose is its ability to erase memories.  They may label it as an anti-anxiety drug but the real purpose it or a drug like it is given is to erase memory.  It sounds like something from a Nazi concentration camp and to me, it is.  I don’t think that anyone should have the right to decide what memories we are allowed to have or not.  I think this drug and others like it crosses a very serious ethical dilemma.  It should be banned or used only under the strictest regulations and never without absolute patient knowledge and consent.

For females, the surgery team has a greater chance of being made up of mostly women.  However, from several sources I have read that a female requesting an all-female team may in fact get males.  This is done, in my mind, because doctors don’t like patients telling them how to run their operation.  Never mind the fact the operation is on you and ultimately you are the boss and the medical personnel are in fact your temporary employees.  Many doctors have long had the attitude that patients should not and furthermore will and do not have say in the manner in which their medical care is delivered or even a say in what type of treatment is needed.   And even more to the point, many patients let them get away with this attitude.  I feel this is done out of fear as the doctor literally has the power of life and death and the quality of which life may have.  If this is the case, would you let a known car thief borrow your car?  Probably not so why would you let a doctor control something so invaluable as your life without question or asserting your rights?

For males, it is almost a given the majority of the team will be female.  To that, most will be young females.  Today’s society has not done well in teaching our younger society members to be respectful especially of men.  Men bear the burden of everything that has gone wrong with the world since the beginning of time especially now that the MeToo movement has come to the forefront.  I think many younger females may base their actions on what they see and hear from the media.  I also think that many nurses/techs act out against the tyranny the surgeon displays towards the female staff by abusing their drugged, naked, and vulnerable male patients.

From experience I have had knowledge of, male patients are left exposed unnecessarily.  This is done for who knows why but the fact remains it happens.  Some procedures, such as heart catheterizations, the lower genital region of a male patient may be left exposed during the entire prep (shaving too) time.  There is no need for this but it happens far more frequently than we probably know.  Some facilities say they use a blue towel but the towel usually is not placed until after the alcohol type prep is done and dried but the blue towel has a tendency to move out of place.  There are garments that a patient could put on called Covr that indeed covers the area but still allows full access to the groin area.  However, not many facilities have initiated the use of these garments as they simply don’t think patient dignity concerns are an issue.  After all, we all same the same body parts and they are professional.   However, they are not the ones naked.  Maybe if they were naked with clear plastics covers it would make that argument more agreeable but they do value and guard their dignity but not ours.  It is also a common fact that medical rarely go to the facility they work at for procedures that require them to be naked and exposed in front of their peers.  If it doesn’t matter because we all have the same body parts…?

We know that patients are naked, drugged so they have little or no more memory recall in the OR or cath lab.  We know that the consent forms give them the right to have whoever they want in attendance when the patient is exposed.  We also know that many people are addicted to their smartphones—smartphones are the ones with cameras.  I don’t imagine many people are aware that many institutions allow medical staff to use their cell phones in OR and in other patient care areas.  This is very scary.  It could perhaps be a selfie that that accidentally includes the naked patient in the background or it could be an intentional picture of the naked patient to post on social media to show and make some comment about their anatomy.  You may never know it until someday someone recognizes your face, your breast, or your penis.  By that time, you have been sexually assaulted thousands of time.  There is no way smartphones should be allowed for staff use in patient care areas.  Only devices facility owned without camera ability should be allowed in patient care areas PERIOD.


Consider the female nurse in a patient room where the male patient is drugged and not able to defend themselves and this male patient is left with his penis and testicles exposed for hours.  The curtain is not drawn.  Other staff members come into the room.  These may be staff members like techs who draw blood, who do housekeeping duties, IT techs, or even other nurses who come to chat to the nurse.  Why is it okay to leave a drugged male patient exposed?  There is no medical reason for this being done.  In fact, it is detrimental to the patient’s health to leave them exposed and cold.  Not to mention to their mental health.  This is a form of sexual abuse.  If the male patient was not drugged, then the nurse would not have done this.  If this happens to a female patient/male nurse, then the alarm bells would ring but since this happened to a male patient—who cares?  He is only a man and nurses are the most trusted profession.  So what if they fail to uphold their oath of protecting their patient’s dignity and fail to guard their patient from harm both physically and mentally?  This type of sexual abuse is real and occurs more than we probably know.  Unnecessarily exposing any patient is sexual abuse.  Sexual crimes are crimes of control and this is exactly what medical staff do—they try to control us while we are in their facility.  We are told what we can do, what drugs they will give us, what their treatment plan is, what food they will allow us to eat, when we can or can’t have visitors—like I said in another blog article-prison.  Why was is this type of exposure taking place?  A drugged, vulnerable male laying exposed and alone for hours with two nurses while they are laughing.  This is sexual abuse.  What were they doing?  The Versed drug man does not know.  That was intended and furthermore, the nurses know the man’s vulnerable because of the drugs.

There are many pictures all over the Internet of various surgical procedures.  Some of them show male patients getting prepped for knee surgery with his penis exposed and later show a picture of his face.  Why was his penis exposed should be the question?  Access to that area was not needed as no foley catheter was used.  Why are stripped naked for surgeries not requiring access to their breasts, vaginas, and/or penises?  Why do the heart catheterization sites either not address the exposure or say your dignity is respected when it is not?  If they are exposing your genital area without real cause then it is sexual abuse.  My guess it is a power control issue.  It fully makes individuals vulnerable and takes away their dignity.  Medical people don’t like to think of patients as being human.  They tend to think of us as objects placed in their care for manipulation.


Many aspects of medical care are kept in a veil of secrecy.  If the general public only knew what really happens then things would change.  It is the plan of the medical community to keep their inter-workings a secret.  When you complain to hospital administration, they sweep it under the rug.  They make excuses or say this didn’t happen.  But they know this happens.  This is why I say sexual abuse of male patients is hospital sanctioned.  It is my plan to expose them.

How One Nurse Abused My Husband

I will call this nurse Feather Wench.  She is a bleached blonde woman who thinks she eludes the southern belle charm and somewhat famous looks.  She also likes to party and drink.  I have done my research on those who have abused and violated my husband to try to find out their motive(s).   In general, I think this person is just a bad person who is in over her head as far as nursing skills, compassion, and just being humane.

Nurse Wench started her abuse of my husband when he first arrived in the Cardiac Critical Care Unit.  Wench has worked at Rancidcan for almost 11 years.  She is not new to cardiac care.  There is a reason I am mention this.

He was taken by gurney by 2 of the heifers from the cath lab.  He was still very out of it from the drugs that he should have never received.  Once to the room, they used the waffle mattress to transfer him to the bed.  During the transfer, the gown that they threw on him right before the transfer, fell off.  The first comment out of Wench’s mouth was that he did not have the right gown on for her area and that needed to fixed immediately.  So instead of getting him settled and hooking him up to the life-saving equipment he needed, Wench left him naked and exposed while she searched for the proper gown.  You would think that:  1.  a qualified nurse would know that hooking him up to life-saving equipment would be the number one priority, 2.  What Rancidcan gown a patient arrived in really didn’t matter, 3.  Wench would not leave a patient naked and exposed meaning no gown, no cover, and no curtain closed.   This is how his time with Wench started.   Since he was drugged, he does not remember every second of time but the constant exposure was so horrible to him that if has been able to penetrate their purposeful memory erasing tactics.

These transfers of patients from gurney to their must be conducted in secret or so is the policy of Rancidcan.   No family can be present during this secret ritual.  It is a ritual we were told that would take around 30 minutes.  It took over 2 hours and that without any word from them as to why and no explanation or apology.  During this time it is impossible to know all the abuse he tolerated at the hands of Wench.

After the great gown crisis, Wench eventually found her correct gown and put in on him.  However, she for whatever reasons, did not pull the gown around his genital area nor did she pull the blanket up around that area.  He had 2 medical devices sutured to his thighs (again w/o any numbing agent).  These devices were the 2 devices that were supposedly to be use to give his heart a rest after his heart attack.  However, Wench was not able to get at least one of them hooked up and working.  However, there is no note of this in his medical record as they purposely do not put negative information such as this in medical files so it can prove their incompetence, neglect, and substandard care.

Unknown to us, just the family worrying in the waiting room, wondering what is going on, Wench has a room full of techs and other staff present.  However, as she told me, she left my husband exposed as she did not know how to cover his genital area so the devices on his thigh were accessible.  Really?  She has been a nurse for 11 years and at least 4 years of schooling, and she did not know how to fulfill her oath of protecting patient dignity?

What is also astound is during this time, she performed full bedpan duties and perineal care.  In other words, since she did not know how to protect my husband’s privacy, while these other IT techs were in the room, she made my husband urinate and then cleaned him up in their presence for all their entertainment needs.  How callous, heartless, and sexually abusive/inappropriate!  According to the medical records, this happened at least 3 times.  I can’t believe she would subject a defenseless patient to such a public display.  Even the curtain was not drawn to shield him from the hallway and a set of main doors opened and closed continuously right outside of his room.  Of course, we did not know this at the time.  This went on for over 2 hours.  This Wench made my husband a public spectacle for over 2 hours.

They never came to get us but eventually my son said that the next _sshole he saw exiting from that door (by my husband’s room), he was going to stop.  He heard the door and was up in a flash.  A dark hair nurse, I will call Joker Some Joke ( who also pulled social work duty asking questions of a man heavily sedated and just out of a major procedure had he been out of the country recently, etc), exited the doors and was heading away from the waiting room.  He quickly caught up with her but before he could say anything, she turned to him laughing the entire time, “I was on my way to come and get you to take you to your husband’s room.”  First off–no she wasn’t on her way to get us because she exited the doors and was heading in the other direction.  Secondly, she was talking to my son and not to me as I was slower in getting up so my husband is not my son’s husband.  By the time, they had gotten over to where I was, she was still laughing.  She said still laughing, “I just came from his room. (LAUGHING STILL)  I am not his nurse.   (LAUGHING STILL).  The nurse had trouble hooking him up to his machines and I have been helping her out. (LAUGHING STILL)   I will buzz you and he is in room C366 at the end of the hall.”  She buzzed us in, and still laughing, she turned and left.

As we were entering the room, my son said he thought he had left his diabetic supplies in the waiting room because he had to jump up quickly to get to that nurse as they didn’t have the decency to let us know anything for over 2 hours  (my husband had been taken to the rm. around 1:50a and now it was exactly 4a.  My husband has said how desperately he wanted to see me and thought maybe I had gone home and they said nothing to him.).  I knew with the stress from how Rancidcan had treated us, that his glucose level was nearing 400.  He was taking readings a lot.  He is a fairly new Type 1.  I told him he had better quickly go back and get his supplies.

I entered the room.  Wench was standing on his right side with his genital area exposed while she was doing something on the bedside computer.  As she turned she was smiling but stopped smiling when she saw it was someone other than a hospital employee and pulled is covers up and said, “You will have to leave as I need to look at his groin areas and I can’t do that without exposing him.”  I said that I am his wife.  She looked like she did not believe it and asked me for my name.  I told her I am Mrs. _______.  She looked at her computer screen and hit some keys and asked again who I was.  I said I am his wife, Mrs. _______.  She said she wanted my first name.  I told her.  She wanted me to spell it.  I did.  She then laughingly said, “You can stay as I think I just figured out how to look at his groin without exposing him.  She also said that she had had issues with his machines and was catching up on paperwork.”  While she said this, she was pulling up the covers between his legs while leaving his gown bunched up around his stomach area.

I was so numbed and beaten down by what I had already gone through, that I was not my usual self.  I live daily with the knowledge of what that Wench said and I did nothing to defend my husband who was helpless as her captive.  I will never forgive myself.

When I saw my husband, I knew he was drugged.  He never said anything except yes or no in response to my questions.  He didn’t initiate conversation nor did he reach for my hand like he would normally.  He mostly kept his eyes closed but could respond with prompting.

We stayed less than 10 minutes as Wench only told us we were outside of visiting time and could visit him during normal visiting hours.  She added as she handed us a paper with a number she had wrote down that if we wanted to call and talk with him we would have to have this number or else we would not be allowed to talk to him.  I left his cell phone with him as I asked him if he would like to have his cell phone and he said yes.   I dialed our daughter so she could her her dad’s voice as we weren’t allowed much information to give her nor were we allowed to stay.

However, as Wench has documented in his medical records, we were visiting around 3a.  That is a lie and falsification of a legal medical record to cover her as_.  She also states she gave us all kinds of information about his condition, his medication, his equipment, his diet, etc.  There are pages and pages where she falsified his medical records saying she had done her job correctly.  She never told us anything.  Somewhere  around 3a, Wench dated and put an X on a legal document for my drugged husband to sign saying he would accept blood transfusions.  If he had not been drugged, he would have never signed this paper but Wench again took advantage of him.  As I said, I knew at 4a that he was drugged out of his mind.

Wench never told me I could have spent the night in his room.  She never told me anything about his condition.  She only told me about exposing him and about the number.

Sometime after we left, my husband said he remembers starting to feel nausea.  This is a side effect he normally experiences from pain killer and told SS Teaching Hospital but they failed to write this down and Rancidcan failed to ask.  There was a standing order for Ondansetron that is used for nausea due to pain killers.  However, for whatever reason, it was never used.

Around 6 a, he started choking and vomiting.  He was laying almost flat.  He was able to turn his head and eventually vomited towards his left shoulder onto his gown, blanket, and sheets.  Wench proceeded to clean him up.

First Wench throws back his blanket.  She then stripped off his gown.  She uses a towel around the messy area and goes to found new bed linens and a gown.  She then tells him to turn on his side, still naked and the curtain not closed and nothing over his genital region.  He could feel her missing with the sheets and eventually she tells him to roll to the other side, still naked.  She pulls the sheets and then has him lay on his back again.  She then washes him still leaving him totally exposed.  She then puts a new gown on him and then a blanket.  Apparently, Wench was not present during her educational process that total exposure of the patient is not acceptable.  She should be conscientious and keep the patient’s genital area cover as a sign of human respect.  Apparently, my husband is not worthy of her not sexually assaulting him whenever she had the opportunity.  Luckily, there was a shift change a few hours later and Wench’s reign of terror was over.  The other nurses did not have the sexual inappropriateness that Wench had or to a lesser degree demonstrated,  Joker Some Joke.

The effects of the fentanyl and Versed made him unable to put his thoughts into words/actions during most of time at Rancidcan.  During his last day there, his head cleared enough that he knew he had to get out of there.  He didn’t want to tell me then about how he had been abused because he knew I was going through hell from what they had done to me.  Neither of us knew why he had had this procedure done.  Each thought the other had given consent when actually, no consent is needed by patients or family once you become their victim by entering their door.  However, now he feels that he was sexually violated by Wench in addition to having had a procedure that he did not want and did not consent to have done.  He suffers from PTSD.  The things that he does remember scare him and me but what really scares us are the things he cannot remember.  He no longer trusts any female nurses and always wants me present.  If I can’t be present, he will not accept treatment as he is justifiably afraid of female nurses/staff.  My husband is scared and has changed since this horrible experience.  He no longer trusts these people to do the right thing.  He is angry that they chose for him what he now has to live with forever and having to take prescription medicine that in turn will likely cause issues with all the side effects each of them have.  He worries about me and the stress I have suffered along with his own stress.  We both worry about with their abusive treatment of him, their lies, and mistakes what does his future health look like?  Did they actually do him no addition harm in the procedure?  He is upset that they did not protect his personal privacy but also did not protect his medical information privacy.  They also have sent his personal private identifiable information and medical information to many registries and data collection agencies without his permission.  He feels totally violated.

I have PTSD.  I feel I let my husband down by not protecting him from these evil people.  I feel victimized by Boris Hollow the chaplain who invaded our privacy and refused to go away.  I feel angry that they refused to let me see him before the procedure as they wanted no interference with their plans.  I am angry about the rude and sexist doctor.  I am angry at the whole cath lab experience being done w/o consent and how badly they treated me.  I am beyond angry at Wench and Joker Some Joke for the abusive treatment we know of and scared of what else they might have done.  We are angry because Rancidcan and SS Teaching Hospital doesn’t care about how harmful their actions have been.  My son feels angry that he and I were victimized and that his father was abused and victimized.  My daughter also is suffering from the stress of what has happened.  We will never forget how badly these people harmed us.

Being in Prison

Oops!  Did I say prison instead of hospital?  To me, the terms are interchangeable.   Let’s see how they are similar:


Check    Loss of basic human rights  (cannot decide your fate)

Check   Loss of bodily privacy (strip search similarities)

Check   Visiting privileges may be suspended

Check   Isolation

Check   Dictate what food you eat

Check   Daily inspections

Check   Parole hearings (discharge or dismissal)\


Okay, so let’s explore each of one of these individually.  I have not ever been an inmate of a county, state, or federal facility but I have had the unfortunate opportunity to be both an inmate and a visitor to the hospital-prison system.  As you may have read in earlier blogs, my husband had a heart attack late last summer.  During his incarceration and my subsequent dealings with the hospital, it did indeed feel like a prison to both of us.  I guess having a heart attack was not punishment enough.


First of all, we learned they don’t tell you everything you need to know.  Whether that is part of their plan or an accident, I am not really sure but I think it is part of their plan.  How could they do these events over and over again and make so many “mistakes?”

When they said he would be transferred to another hospital because they weren’t a full service hospital was true.  However, they said he would be going to the other hospital in order to evaluate his treatment options.  What they didn’t say is that neither he or I would be included or have the right to decide what treatment he would have.  That, to me, is a loss of basic human rights.  Do we not have the right to decide our life choices?  Apparently, if you are hospitalized, you lose that right.  Also, when they ask you about drugs you have had problems with in taking, they can decide “if” they will write down that information.  Since they knew what was in store for him at the other hospital and what drugs would be used, they did not write down that painkillers and Versed had adverse side effects.  They purposely put his life in danger because they wanted to be able to use fentanyl and Versed on him.  The helicopter crew gave him fentanyl when he did not need it as the cath labs like to receive their incoming patients drugged and cooperative with what is about to unfold.  That is the long and the short of their actions.   They decide what they will do, how they will do it, and who will be involved.  You are drugged and have no choice.  They also have made the decision on how you live out the rest of your life.   They took a man who believed in natural supplements although he hadn’t taken them in several years and who had no history of daily prescription drug use and made sure he would take some very powerful and damaging drugs for the rest of his life.  That seemed kind of unbelieving and miffed that at his age, he wasn’t already on a regimen of prescription drugs.  Drugs, after all, are big business.  It would be interesting to see how much doctors and hospitals receive from big drug companies for prescribing their miracle drugs that have devastating side effects.  You don’t have a say in prison who your guard is and who knows your business.  It is the same way in a hospital.  You are expected to be okay with whatever staff member they choose to treat you.  They don’t care if men have male nurses but mainly females patients have female nurses for intimate care.  You cannot object when they give your information to people not needing it like the people in the public hallway or a man (non medical)  they assign to your family who will not go.  He hears all your information even though he has been told to leave.  He does not share with your family what is happening to you.  It is a secret for only them to know.  The hospital later says they have a right to have whoever they choose to have your information.  That means if the only person available is a maintenance worker then they’ll send him to your family so he can have and hear all your private health information.  Once you enter their doors, you have no rights be you patient or visitor.


As a prisoner, you have to submit to stripping naked and letting a stranger(s) look your body over, make notes, and probe cavities.  You are then given a uniform to wear so you do not have your own personal clothing.  In a hospital, you are stripped naked.  You submit to strangers looking at your body, taking notes, and probing cavities even watching you pee and poo.  You may be given a flimsy gown or paper to wear.  Then again, like my husband, you may just lay naked and exposed for any and all to see until you become so cold that it affects your physical well-being.  They may choose to give you nothing at all to cover.  Mostly in a prison, the stripping is done in from of same sex onlookers but in a hospital male patients usually have to be naked for female strangers and onlookers.  My husband had 4 females in the cath lab and at least 2 other laughing females in his CCU room alone with him for hours while he was drugged.  And the one admitted that since she wasn’t able to figure out how to not expose him until I came into the room, he was naked and exposed for over 2 hours with these 2 females and all others who came and went from his room.  It is very stressful thinking about what and why they did, and thinking about all the things they could have done that he doesn’t remember.


Prisons decide if and when you can have visitors.  They can keep you in solitary confinement only allowing you to communicate with their chosen staff and not allowing you to communicate with your family.  Hospitals decide when and if you can have visitors.  They may keep you in isolation so you are more likely to be compliant with what they have in store for you and so your family cannot question what they have in store for you.  They also may keep you in isolation because they really don’t care if you see your family or they see you.  My husband was not allowed to see me nor I him before they forced him into having a procedure he had not agreed to nor wanted.  Afterwards, he was kept isolated from us, his family, for more than 2 hours with no reason given.  Usually it takes less than 30 minutes of secrecy to complete a transfer to a patient room.  And why does a transfer have to be done in secrecy?  It is like they think they are transferring a highly dangerous criminal whose gang will try to bust him out during transfer?


Prisons have set meals and set times you can eat.  Hospitals will decide what type of diet they will allow you have.  They will let you order from a selection of bland and tasteless food and make a note if you don’t eat it because it is too nasty to eat.  During my husband’s incarceration, he was told he had to order from a certain group.  However, when he would try to order, they in turn would tell him that food item was not allowed.  If he didn’t replace it with what with the item they deemed acceptable, they would send another gross item in its place not caring whether he wanted it or not.  It is a pattern in a hospital prison of not caring what the patient wants.


At prisons, there may certain times during the day that they conduct roll call or count heads.  At hospitals, they make daily rounds with medical students and other nameless individuals.  Unlike a prison, you may have to be exposed to these strangers as they all have the right to be curious and you are the object on which they are furthering their education in order to make big money.  You, in return, get nothing out of it except having more of your personal dignity stripped away.  In hospitals, they will wake you up to ask if you are sleeping.  They come and go all day and all night.  You never are without them unless you need them.


Prisons have parole hearings where you can go and tell them how you have improved and how sorry you are for whatever you did.  You also know in advance when your sentence is over if there is no parole involved.  In a hospital, you have no idea when they may decide that you can go.  Your family has to be ready at all times to pick you up but yet hospital don’t think having them visit or keeping them informed is important.  They may dangle incentives in front of you so you can leave early such as agreeing to be part of more intrusive programs where they can contact you once you leave the hospital so they may gather more data for their registries.  If you don’t cooperate, chances are you will be leaving later than sooner.  They do not like no for answer.  They discuss the “release from hospital prison” and let you know what they have decided.  As in any parole or release, there are terms you must agree to before they actually let you out.  You must set up appointments and agree to further treatment.  It is like they really can’t let you go without making sure they own you forever.


As you can see, there are many similarities between prisons and hospitals.  The differences between the are striking.  Prisons you don’t have to pay to go to but hospitals you pay huge money in order to be there.  Prisons don’t want you to return but hospitals need for you to return as you are their cash cow.  Prisoners have rights but hospital patients don’t.  Oftentimes, patients are too ill to defend themselves and the laws are stacked against them.  Lawmakers don’t care about hospital patients being abused and mistreated but have passed laws over the years for prison reform.


It is time that reform is done.  Patients should not be treated worse than prisoners.  A patient’s only crime is getting ill.