Please see Part I of my husband telling his story.
Response to Gender Care Not Being Equal
Here is a response I received from a woman who is now an RN.
As you can see, some medical personnel do not leave their personal baggage at the door. They do not leave their sexual impulses at the door. It also shows that female staff have the same impulse to cause sexual harm that is acknowledged that male staff have within them. Generally, society gives female medical staff an exception card to having sexual impulses when dealing with patients. Clearly, the impulse to humiliate and harm by these “girls” is clearly shown.
Gender Care Discrimination Against Male Patients
Something that is not addressed is that male patients are discriminated against in same sex gender care options. Options—there are none. Over 90% of hospital staff are female. In some areas of the US, that may be even higher. For years, men have had to suffer through having no option for same gender care even the court system says every patient is entitled to same gender care for intimate procedures. How many male nurses do you see in L&D? How many male mammographers do you see? However, for males needing a prostatic ultrasound, most likely the tech will be a female. If male ob-gyn attends to a female patient, then most likely a chaperone will be used and that chaperone will be female. However, for male urologist who attend a male patient that chaperone will be a female. Most males feel ambushed and/or violated by having a female present who just basically watches the exam.The intimate exam is also done differently. A female is generally told by the female nurse to remove all clothing and change into a gown and the doctor will return for the exam. The nurse leaves the room as the female patient changes. The doctor enters and usually there is a drape put into place and the nurse stands to the side if she is present. Once the exam is done, they leave and the patient cleans up and dresses before any talk is initiated.For male patients that I have spoken to their exam happens very differently. The doctor enters with a female audience member. He will be told to remove his shirt in front of them and can put it back on once the doctor is done. Next, the doctor generally tells them to drop his pants and underwear around his ankles while standing in front of the doctor. He does the frontal exam as the female audience just stands and watches. The patient is then told to turn around and bend over usually the exam table all the while looking like an awkward clown trying not to trip on his pants/underwear around his ankles. Afterwards he is told to clean up and pull up his clothes all the while with the audience present.The paints a very vivid difference in how some healthcare aspects are delivered differently to male and female patients. There is a glaring difference in the compassionate and bodily privacy respect aspect between the two genders. Many males find this routine to be totally degrading. I, as a female, would not tolerate it. Many males do not seek healthcare because they do feel violated.The medical “professional” will say things like “we have seen it all before”, “you don’t have something I haven’t seen before”, “suck it up”, or other things that do nothing to reassure a patient. In fact, dismissing a patient’s requirement for personal dignity does nothing but make the situation worse. Of course, it is not an issue for the medical person as they are not the one being exposed. Furthermore, it is an issue for many of them as they seek their healthcare elsewhere as many of them feel uncomfortable having their genitals exposed to their co-workers so it does not matter them. But for you, it doesn’t matter.For in-hospital male patients, most intimate care will be delivered by a female staff member. Sometimes because they have no compassion or respect for your personal dignity, they will bring along another member to chat with as you are being exposed. Because your exposure only matters to you is the message they are sending. They don’t care. Not caring, is why they make not draw the curtain or only uncover areas as needed. Some female nurses also get a thrill of power and control when lording over a defenseless male patient. What many patients do not know is you are in control of your body. Not them. You have the right to say who is involved in your treatment and the extent of their involvement. If you want same gender care, then every effort must be made to provide it to you. If not, perhaps your spouse or someone of your choosing can do it for you. If you are having surgery scheduled, you have the right to request a same gender care team. The hospital is obligated to let you know if they can so you can choose to proceed or not. Inappropriate sexual actions do not just happen to female patients by male doctors/staff. Male patients can be sexually assaulted by female staff. In the age of #MeToo, there seems to be an anger towards men that can very easily be transferred to male patients especially if they are drugged by sedation. Female staff have been in media stories for taking pictures with their personal cell phones of male patient’s genitals, other sexual acts, nurse humiliating a drugged male patient by having him unnecessarily exposed and forcing him to use a bedpan and being wiped like a baby in front of her chosen audience members, etc. However, for male patients it is very difficult to prove these accusations because society as a whole has not caught up. Many do not believe a female nurse would assault a male patient but in turn they would believe a male nurse would assault a female patient. This type of attitude makes this type of assault grow and flourish because they know they can get away with it. While the system is not perfect in preventing assault of female patients, at least they recourse avenue is somewhat better. For males, there is no recourse and discrimination against male patients seems to be totally acceptable. In fact, government, law enforcement, the general public, and the medical industry seems to be complicit in keeping the discriminatory practices against males patients alive and well.
Healthcare is Sick!
The other day my husband went to the cardiologist. As he will not go to any medical alone, I was with him during the entire appointment. Otherwise, he will not go or stay. Things got off to a rocky start after they wanted him to sign a HIPAA waiver form giving them permission to do with his personal/medical information whatever they chose according to HIPAA. After having been through filing a HIPAA complaint, we now know the government is complicit in allowing healthcare providers to abuse, leak, distribute, etc. your information in any manner they want. HIPAA is only interested in cases where a lot of people have been affected and only about it becomes public knowledge. Otherwise, they have no issue in the misuse of your information.
He was led to the scale and then put into a room. After the questions, she took his blood pressure. He has never had high blood pressure nor does he take medicine for high blood press. It was sky-high because he was uncomfortable with her manner and having her so close to him without asking or explaining her actions. To make matters worse, next the female MA told him to strip from the waist up. He just looked ill and instantly looked at me. I knew he was like a deer in the headlights being taken back to that time at Rancidcan when he was sexually and medically assaulted. (Rancidcan is a catholic hospital in Indianapolis that I have changed the name of because they are a very aggressive group of people.)
First, let me explain. Most would think that a man removing his shirt is no big deal. But it is for a man who was sexually molested. If you think about the language used during medical encounters you begin to see how they gain control and power. This MA didn’t ask him to remove his shirt. She didn’t explain why before she demanded he strip from the waist up. He was sitting on the exam table. He would have had to gotten down and climbed back up. He didn’t know it at that time but she wanted him to lay down too. She hadn’t told him why either but I could see her heading towards the portable EKG.
Although he knew what he was supposed to do, he froze. He was visibly upset and I knew it but I was waiting to so if he would defend himself. He froze so I interfered. I asked her if she hadn’t read in his file that is a victim of medical/sexual abuse/assault from medical personnel in a hospital? She said there was nothing in his file. I told her we had repeatedly requested it be put in his file as this an extremely important part of his medical history. I also told her the American Disabilities Act (ADA) recognizes the mental trauma from sexual abuse/assault as a part of its ADA. My husband sat there froze in place. I went on to tell her she needed to use Trauma Informed Consent when dealing with any victim of sexual abuse/assault. Her attitude instantly changed during this speech. She went from ordering, demanding to one of sugar couldn’t been more sweeter or considerate.
Because I could see the EKG she was preparing to use wasn’t the normal 3 lead, I asked her how many leads and why. She replied it was a ten lead and in her 3 1/2 months of being there, that was the only EKG she had used. So apparently they had gotten rid of the 3 lead. The 10 ten requires much more placement and exposed skin. However, it does not require a man to be shirtless. I then asked if it was the same for a female patient. Were they told to strip from the waist up with her present? Or did she give them a gown and leave while they changed?
Of course, it was different for a female patient. They weren’t told to strip from the waist up and yes, they were given a gown. I don’t imagine most females would put up with even having another female present while they hopped down from the exam table, stripped from the waist up, hopped back on the table, and laid down without a gown or sheet.
As I said, her attitude changed once I told her he was a victim of medical/sexual assault and she should have been using trauma informed care standards. But why wasn’t this information in his record? We had asked them twice before to have in inserted so he would not have to suffer through all the drama and trauma with office visit.
Better yet–why do they not use trauma informed care standards on all patients? Why do they especially the female staff in dealing with male patients think it is perfectly acceptable to trample on a male patient’s right to personal dignity? Why do all medical people think when in dealing with most patients it is acceptable to use a paternalistic language pattern and mannerisms? They know the difference as this MA clearly illustrated.
She apologized over and over. She was very careful to explain and even looked at me for permission. She said she would make sure it got into his file. She left and knocked as she returned to say she had personally inserted it into his file. How long it will stay is the question? One thing is clear, most people do not acknowledge that male patients can and are sexually assaulted in medical settings.
So why is there this myth that even in today’s world of #MeToo that women do not or cannot have feelings or commit actions of sexual misconduct. I do believe women have the ability as witnessed by what I saw happening to my husband and by what he remembers happening to him. Sexual assault does not have to be physical penetration. Sexual assault is defined as someone in power or control exerting that power and/or control in a sexual manner over someone who is defenseless or unable to protect themselves. Sexual assault is about power and control and women do seek power and control. In fact, in today’s world that are more outspoken and vocal about feeling men have for too long had power and control. Why the assault was done to him is a mystery–was it because this catholic hospital has an undercurrent that staff knows supports them in abusing/assaulting gay, married men (remember because the other hospital must have thought it would be funny to label him as such sending him to a catholic hospital known to denounce LGBTQ issues as he did not want to transfer to one of their hospitals), was it because some the women (the 4 cath lab heifers) have issues with men and decide some men will suffer the ills of all men, was it because of where we live and what they thought our politics were, was it they just have a lottery for who they are going to abuse/assault and his number was drawn, or was something else. It really doesn’t matter why it was done but rather they did it. There had no reason that can justify what they did. (However, I wouldn’t mind reading about one them traveling to North Korea and having horrific things done to them courtesy of North Korea because all involved whether they actually took part or was as guilty by witnessing and not helping or reporting it deserve to be in North Korea.)
The interesting thing is the doctor took his blood pressure and it was back to in the low normal range which is where it generally is. The doctor, without prompting, said the difference is in all people because when they first get it taken they have been walking so it is higher. Me being me had to give him a much needed correction so I said it was because the MA had not respected his personal dignity as it should have been in his records that he is a victim of medical/sexual abuse. I could see the doctor as he turned towards me smirk. If he could have read my mind, he would have been very offended as I just thought he was a stupid moron who needed education because surely he is lacking. However, my husband had already been upset enough so I just explained that even if he didn’t agree with the reality that people even females in medical settings do sexually assault patients and in this case, a male patient, they should accord each and every patient personal dignity and respect. I went on to share with him brochures from MedicalPatientModesty.com on modesty and male modesty. I went on to ask to set me up with hospital representatives such as chaplains and patient advocates as there seem to be a need for some additional education opportunities. I was proud of myself for not saying what I wanted to say but rather toward the higher road to I could pee upon him.
But one thing remains clear–healthcare and how it is delivered is ill. The people in healthcare are not going to admit to it being ill so they will not fix it unless the public forces them. It will be a tough fight because as of now, they hold most of the cards. There are so many different issues that need repaired in the healthcare system. This is why I write this blog. Abuses/assaults, indignities, discrimination, etc we suffer during our quest to receive healthcare should no longer be silent. If we speak up, others will become aware and things will change because they will be forced to change them.
Cath Lab Privacy Protocol
Here is an article from Cath Lab Digest:
It also is suggested that patients only be given 1 mg versed and 25 to 50 mcg of fentanyl. My husband was given 150 mcg of fentanyl and later 25 more mcg. It is said patients should still be able to function. He was not able to function.
Since they lied about him being alert x3, what else did they lie about? Of course, the Rancidcan did not note in their records that he had received the 100 mcg of fentanyl less than 15 minutes prior to arrival but it was noted to them in the handoff sheet . According to CMS and Livanta, for Rancidcan since it was not noted it did not happen even though DeadCircle noted it. Medical personnel are truly the drug pushers of this country yet the criminal justice system ignores this and the government applauds and encourages it. The drugging of my husband was done because he was not accepting of their gold standard of care and they did not want to lose their precious statistics of low door to balloon time in order to actually give him and I his basic right of true informed consent. They have the power to control and they certainly use it. The sexual abuse he suffered was probably their form of punishment for him initially wanting to have input into what drugs they used and to be able to choose his treatment course of action. They will not tolerate any human interfering with their gold standard of treatment nor how fast they can deliver it.
Real Bobs Shouldn’t Heart Abishola
CBS has a new “comedy” about a heart patient who falls in love with his cardiac nurse. I have not been able to watch this because of what happened to my husband. His cardiac nurse was not the type a man would fall in love with because of her compassion and caring. Rather his nurse is the type you would want to have sent to jail because she is a sexual predator.
I have now seen the first few minutes of the show and it is nothing like what happens in real life. First off, Bob arrives with the paramedics and his family is all there. Is the ambulance that slow? My husband arrived alone as I wasn’t allowed to accompany him because of their sinister plans. Bob also arrived with his shirt on and no EKG leads and he clearly was not drugged. In real life, they like their patients drugged with opiates or benzos to make them compliant or submissive.
Next Bob woke up in a room asking “what happened?” Notice again Bob was not drugged, was elevated, and saying he had to pee. Had time passed since the PCI? After the PCI, usually you are made to lie flat for 6 to 8 hours. They make you use a bedpan as you have to urinate often because of the contrast medium they use leaves per your urine. They also shoot hydration into your IVs too. So if time had passed, it would be doubtful that Bob needed to pee that urgently. If you noticed, Bob’s gown was fully closed in the back and appropriately covering his lower half For my husband, his gown was never tied until he was gotten up to walk around noon of the next day. He, for around 10 hours, was in bed with the gown untied and bunched up around his abdomen with Feather Wench and later just pulled past his genital area. Bob’s nurse did not check his puncture wounds before getting him up. Also, did Bob not know she had already performed bedpan on him? Did she like Feather Wench entertain the hospital staff because she thought it was amusing and she had power to torture a defenseless man? Also, when escorting the patient to the toilet they do not stop at the door, they continue inside with the patient. There is no privacy charade intended
For people watching this show, it gives them a false sense of what will occur. They will be shocked at what really happens. Does that mean all nurses will molest or abuse their patients? No, it does not but how do you know which ones will? You don’t so like us you should act like all are potential molesters or abusers. Also, when examining femoral puncture wounds, most nurses do not think of their patients as humans with feelings and will unnecessarily expose the genital area. Most of insensitive to a patient’s personal dignity. This would categorize them as committing a sexually inappropriate act but not to the extent which was done on my husband as he was left exposed for hours and was the center of entertainment. However, for anyone who has suffered either, the results should not be marginalized. It is devastating. So be aware, this was only a tv show and it does not truly represent what happens. Also, this show is wrong in encouraging a patient to seek a romantic relationship with his care provider and vice versa. In a care situation, no one should be looking for a date. It sets the stage for sexual harassment and worse.
To me, this show, romanticizes something that should not be happening. There should not be a relationship pursued outside of medical care as neither the patient nor the medical care provider should be shopping for a relationship. This type of behavior disproves that medical providers don’t see patients in the state of nudity and are able to suppress sexual behavior. Patient/medical provider relationships should be taboo to protect both parties but especially the patient who may be vulnerable and unable to protect themselves.
This type of relationship allows medical providers to know details about their potential love interest that should only be disclosed by the person when they feel like sharing. It also enables the medical provider to shop for physical attributes before a person is willing to share. Just imagine if a single doctor liked big breasts that didn’t sag so upon his physical examination he concluded a patient had had breast implants so he decided to ask her out. This would mean his physical exam of this patient was very sexual in nature. Is that something we want to encourage even more of than the already known existence of the Larry Nassers in the world of medicine?
I don’t know what procedure Bob had done but most cardiac procedures involve the exposure (even though not necessary) of the patient’s genitals. For women, it also means the breasts are certainly exposed due to EKGs and placement of defib/ground pads. The medical community like to have the patient drugged as the patient will not resist or protest their unnecessary exposure. Medical providers may leave a female’s breast exposed so anyone can see them including ER visitors. They may not even cover her when transferring her to other areas of the hospital. She is drugged and is not able to defend herself. My husband was drugged against his will so they could expose him and perform their chosen method of treatment that he had not consented to beforehand. They have their methods to cancel out patient choice and wishes. Remember when he told them about his adverse reactions to painkillers and versed, they acted as though they were taking notes. When he told them he would go to the transfer hospital so they could discuss with both he and I about his treatment choices, they said nothing to the contrary all the while as the medical records show they had already determined that he would have a PCI whether he wanted it or not. They just bided their time until they were able to isolate him from me on an air ambulance and gave the order to render him to be defenseless against what they wanted done by giving him a very large dose of fentanyl. Fentanyl made him “high”, content with the world even though he was aware of being stripped and left naked and didn’t like—the fentanyl left him unable to voice his objections. Fentanyl also left him incapable of processing information like he would normally. Fentanyl is known to mess with people’s normal decision making process. He never knew he had been drugged until he read his medical records. He couldn’t figure out what had happened to him and why he allowed it to happen. They knew what they were doing. He had told them that painkillers and versed would render him defenseless and incapable. At the hospital, they gave him more fentanyl and also versed. They didn’t get consent for the procedure until after this second dose of fentanyl coming about 30 minutes after the massive first dose coupled with versed. They lied to say his was alert times 3. Apparently, these “medical professionals” are not above lying or they are so stupid they cannot recognize a man who is extremely “high.” We both feel they just flat out lied. They knew he wasn’t agreeable to their gold standard of treatment and they had been called in and they were going to do the procedure with or without his consent which in his case was truly without his consent. This is how hospitals work and not the rosy picture told by Bob Loves Abishola.
For hospitals, drugged (sedated) patients are easier to deal with and they are able to keep them isolated from their families. Families could interfere with what the medical provider wants to do. Many of the gold standard treatments are big money-makers for the hospitals so they are encouraged and probably rewarded to perform those procedures. Also, we didn’t know it but the first hospital had called in a STEMI alert which meant the second hospital called in staff to perform a PCI. We weren’t told his treatment was already set in concrete but they knew so when we both said we wanted to talk to the second hospital about what his treatment options were so we could decide, all of the medical personnel banded together to make sure that didn’t happen. There is no other explanation. The first hospital did not want to have the blame placed on them for falsely activating the cath lab and the 2nd hospital did not want to pay staff if the cath lab was not used to they made sure they had a victim for the cath lab.
My husband’s cardiac nurse, Feather Wench, is a 30 something bleach blonde who by her social media profile loves drinking and thinks she is Hollywood goddess. She is also single. She also is a Bernie Sanders supporters and dislikes President Trump. The other nurse who helped in her sexual abuse of my husband, Winifred Sanction—the social worker nurse, has a sketchy past. How ironic and low that as Winifred was asking him if his spouse sexually abused him that she was helping to sexually abuse him? What lowlifes!!!! In previous posts who have read about the laughing nurse who is actually Winifred. My husband remembers hearing Feather and Winifred laughing in his room while his eyes were closed due to the drugs and while he was exposed. It is no wonder that his mind was full of how could he get out of there asap. His mind was full of bits and pieces of the memories of the abuse and wondering how it came that he had had some type of procedure done and he was scared.
Most hospitals encourage that someone stay with the patient. For my husband, however, Feather kept him isolated so she could sexually abuse him. She falsified the medical records to cover her crime by saying he had visitors when he did not. She knew what she was doing. Do male nurses keep female patients isolated from their families? In Bob’s situation, it was clear from the way he was acting that he had been there for some time as he did not wake up groggy and his family was not in the room. That portrayal was just not accurate. But then, hopefully, not every male is not molested and assaulted.
But one thing that is clear that medicine in the United States encourages the use of such drugs as versed (a benzo) that main purpose is to promote amnesia. In other words, American medical providers don’t want you to remember what happens to you while you are having procedures. Why is that? Mainly because you are stripped completely for surgeries that do not require total nudity. However, that is the way they like it as it makes their job easier. Not only does versed make you have amnesia but it also makes you compliant and uninhibited so you do not care and if you did care, you can do nothing about it. Versed is one of the drugs of choice for date rape and you can see why it is used so frequently on unknowing patients. My husband knew they had stripped and left him exposed for their entertainment. He was horrified but was unable to object or do anything about it. He had too much fentanyl in him and fentanyl acts as a paralytic so physically he couldn’t resist. Obviously they knew he had been given too fentanyl and he was too high so they didn’t give him the standard 2 mgs of versed and but did give him 1mcg. He was probably on the brink of deep sedation rather than moderate. At first, he didn’t understand why he didn’t do anything about their sexual abuse of him as it was happening until he read in his medical records that he had been drugged by them. The deep sense of betrayal runs deep as he had to come to terms with the fact that people who should have protected him when he was so defenseless in fact totally abused and assaulted him.
So falling in love with his cardiac nurse was out of the question. For sure, she has some mental issues in which she likes to dominant and control her male patients by committing sexual assault when she knows they are too drugged to defend themselves. She wasn’t able to properly perform her nursing duties as she was too busy assaulting him. Gratitude to her or that hospital is out of the question! He is lucky that did not kill him with their viciousness. Too many patients never fully realize what has been done to them because the drugs do their job. Even if this only happened to him it is too much. Feather Wench and WInifred Sanction are free to strike out again and I am sure there are many others like them and you will never know if you will be the one that gets someone like them. The romantic nurse like in the tv show doesn’t exist nor should we encourage any romantic (sexual) feelings with medical providers who provides intimate care as that will lead down a road no one wants to travel.
Sexual Assault/Abuse in Medical Situations
Some people I have communicated with have been confused about exposure in necessary care versus being exposed as in being sexually assaulted. There is a huge difference. As I have said in a previous post, some think it is alright to be exposed to the opposite sex if they are a doctor or even a nurse. However, they think that being exposed to someone who does not have a 4 year or more medical degree such as a CNA, makes a difference. I guess that is outright snobbishness thinking that non 4 year degree workers cannot behave professionally However, what is not realized is that 4 year degree medical workers also may not behave professionally.
Understandably, some people do no want to expose their genitals to anyone of the opposite sex. However, many times in medical care they are forced to expose their genitals to workers of the opposite sex whether it is by prior knowledge or by an ambush. For instance, many men may see a male urologist but the worker readying him for the procedure or accompanying him during an exam will most likely be a female. Many men are not aware there will be a female present and as they are all ready in a state of undress and disadvantage by this surprise female visit, this is what is termed an ambush. Many male patients are not aware that a female will be readying them for an exam and when the female enters, they freeze like a deer in the headlights and allow themselves to have their personal space and feelings violated. This may make men more unlikely to seek future healthcare.
Another way male patients are ambushed, is having scrotal or prostate ultrasounds. While it is true that most hospitals employ female technicians for female ultrasounds or mammograms, male patients must endure having a female technician conducting this very intrusive ultrasound on them. In healthcare, males do not receive the same fair standard of treatment that females have. A female would be unlikely to have a vaginal ultrasound done by a male technician and be alone in a small room with that male tech in such a compromising position. Not only are male patients usually alone with the female tech but sometimes they may call in another female to be their witness. The other female may be clerical workers and not a healthcare service worker. Although female patients have better consideration than male patients, female patients are still not safe from being molested. No female patient should ever let their guard down.
However, being informed with this information can now help prevent any patient from being ambushed. Although the health provided may not tell you and may even try to tell you that you have no choice, you do have choices and rights. All patients are entitled to have same sex care if requested. Sometimes like in Labor & Delivery this is done for female patients. The only male healthcare worker present may be the male doctor the female chose. For males, this rarely happens. Over 90% of hospital healthcare workers are female. Most healthcare office help with the exception of the doctor are female. The feeling among healthcare workers may be males don’t have modesty and if they do, as healthcare workers, males have nothing they haven’t seen before or anything special. However, for the patient, the story is different.
As a society, we are taught to keep our genitals covered. We wear clothes. In a healthcare setting, we are expected to have our genitals exposed to any healthcare worker whether they be male or female, clerical or medical. It as if once a patient enters the healthcare door, we are expected to manipulated and used by healthcare workers as they see fit. We are expected to obey and not question.
If you are unfortunate to have surgery, you can expect you will be totally exposed. This seems to be common practice even for surgeries you would not imagine your genital region needs to be exposed such as a knee surgery. There have been pictures on the Internet used to train medical workers for surgery procedures showing patients being exposed. The majority of times prior to surgery you will be told they are giving you “a little something to help you relax.” While this injection into your IV may be an anti-anxiety medicine, the drug of choice–Versed–actually has for the medical community a better benefit than relieving your so-called anxiety. Why Versed is used is that it causes amnesia. Versed also causes humans to become uninhibited. When mixed with fentanyl which it is a majority of time, the patient will become high having a feeling of contentment and being unable to move unless prompted. It paralyzes some people where they can’t move because their muscles feel like water. You can be stripped naked for as long as they deem acceptable and allow anyone to be present. Furthermore, you probably will not remember it. This makes it very easy for them to do their job how they want it done whether than having to be careful not to disrespect your personal dignity. This practice makes the abuse of the defenseless patient super easy. Pictures may be taken of the naked on staff personal cell phones. They may have their “buddy” come and look at your naked body. You will probably have no idea of all the things done to you or what was said about you during this time.
During visits to the Emergency Room, patients are often exposed needlessly. Yes, there may be a need to examine a patient for injuries but that should be done with consideration for the patient’s personal dignity. No patient should be left exposed. No patient should be subjected to unnecessary people in the exam room while they are exposed. Many patients are too ill to defend themselves, do not know what is to be expected and know when to speak up, or some may be unconscious. Just because you are in the ER does not mean you should be exposed unnecessarily or give up your need for same sex care. ER patients are still humans too and may have issues from having been treated like a piece of meat. Whenever possible, a family member should be present to help the ER patient navigate all the information thrown at them. ERs should not isolate patients from family so they can railroad a drugged, severely ill patient into treatment they do not and would not want. If you are female in the ER and are experiencing chest pains, you can expect to have your chest area exposed. If you are unconscious, alone, or severely drugged you may expect there will not be any effort to cover your breasts because of the EKG leads. If you were taken to the ER by EMTs you may have already been stripped by the EMTs.
So what constitutes exposure that is actually a sexual assault? For many patients exposure that constitutes sexual assault will happen when the are defenseless such as drugged or unconscious. Other types of sexual assaults such as physical penetration or fondling of a patient’s genitals will occur during times when a patient is drugged or unconscious. Nursing patients are at great risk for sexual abuse/assault as they are often confused, weakened, etc. Nursing home sexual assault can be perpetrated by a medical worker, another patient, or even a visitor. Sexual predators seek individuals who are in a weakened state and who are defenseless. It gives them a feeling of power.
Both instances of sexual assault that happened to my husband was when he was drugged and therefore, defenseless. Furthermore, those medical workers knew his state and depended upon the drugs to allow them to abuse him. They know it is not necessary to completely expose an individual for an angioplasty. There is no reason for a male’s penis/testicles or a female’s vaginal area to be exposed. There are garments made to protect those areas. They can even use blue clothes to shield the genital area during groin prep. In fact, most cardiac cath manuals state the patient’s genital area should be covered and patient modesty/dignity protected. So why it is not done? What was wrong with those 4 female cath lab workers who were all RNs with specialized training in a large Catholic hospital in Indianapolis? Do they delight in abusing the personal dignity of only male patients or do they also get the same thrill exposing female patients? We are told over and over how compassionate nurses are and that they are the protector of the patient. Certainly this is not true. All involved in my husband’s care had to know he was “high” from fentanyl. There is no way they could not have known that a man who was given 100mcg of fentanyl 15 minutes prior to arrival was high and therefore incapable of making any decision or even protecting himself from abuse. It is a well known fact that people high on opiates which fentanyl is one of the most powerful even more so than heroin, that he was not alert to person, place, and time. So why did they lie? Why did they foist their criminal intentions upon him? On top of the 100 mcg of fentanyl that the Drug DeadCirlcle helicopter service gave him without true reason or consent, the cath lab gave him Versed and another 50 mcg of fentanyl. This was done before the consent was signed by them. Clearly, he was not able to sign the consent and which also it may be concluded if he was not able to sign the consent, he was not able to understand what was happening and that he did not give verbal consent after being so drugged by them. Sadly, probably many more patients are lied and deceived like my husband was. Sadly, too, many patients are stripped naked and left exposed and put on display for any and all to view. It is clear that the medical community is a callous, abusive, and criminal institution. It is also clear that sexual and medical assault is condone by most of those working in the medical community.
But sometimes the abuse/assault that a patient endures by being stripped and left unnecessarily exposed isn’t enough. Others want to join in on the fun too. What compels these pathetic excuses for humans to torture and abuse defenseless, ill patients? In my husband’s case, more and maybe the worse was yet to come after he survived his time in the cath lab. The patient room is another place where assault can silently happen. My husband was kept isolated from his family. They knew he had family waiting but they were having too much fun sexually assaulting him. We were left wondering and waiting on a Sunday morning until around 4am as to what had happened. Night shifts especially weekends are prime times for abuse because the hospital runs on a smaller staff and restricts visitation.
His nurse, Feather Wench, left him exposed to the eyes of IT workers, blood techs, and anyone else who might have been in the vicinity during that time. My husband remembers parts. He remembers the laughter in the room. He remember being told he needed to urinate into the bedpan in front of the crowd of IT techs or else Finch would foley cath him. He remembers feeling demeaned but remembers he didn’t have the engery or willpower to do anything. If he had not been so very severely drugged, he normally would have defended himself. But Finch knew he couldn’t. Maybe the cath lab told her she could have fun with him. Who knows? There was even a social worker nurse present during much of the sexual abuse? She asked him while she was actually sexually abusing him if his spouse sexually abused him. How sick this social worker nurse was. I call her Hen St. Pawn. She had to known what was happening was wrong as that is part of their training to spot sexual abuse. However, she was complicit in committing sexual abuse. There was no medical reason for my husband to have been made to lay with his penis and testicles exposed for 5 hours. Morally and ethically it was wrong to make my husband urinate 3 times in front of people for entertainment. This assault took place in a Catholic hospital on a Sunday–a holy day. The Catholic hospital appears to condone this abuse as they have done nothing about it.
So what does this say about medical workers? It says there is a problem because not one of them tried to protect my husband. Although Finch was the one who initiated the assault in the patient room and St. Pawn helped her continue it, none of the others who witnessed it stopped it nor did they report it. They are as guilty as Finch and St. Pawn. My husband continues to have nightmares about being sexually tortured wondering why he was chosen. He also wonders if he would ever be hospitalized again if he would again be under the care of a sexual predator? Apparently, they are a thriving class of medical workers who are protected both by administration and their co-workers. The only one they will not protect is the patient and that is the one they take an oath to protect and to do no harm to but since they patient is drugged with a drug that causes their memories to be erased, they don’t think it is really harm. After all, most patients will not remember those few hours of hell. That is why they are drugged.
The medical system in the United States seems not to care about an individual’s personal dignity or value as a person. My husband was not asked to remove his own clothes nor did they ask if they could remove his clothes. They just stripped him as they knew the fentanyl would prevent him from resisting and also because of the fentanyl they knew they did not need his permission because he was high. Because of the fentanyl, they also knew they did not have to cover him. They did not care about his value as a human being but rather they did not have to follow standard textbook procedures of covering him in a gown or sheet before exposing his genital area. He arrived without a shirt on so putting a gown on him would have been easy. Covering him with a sheet as they or he pulled off his lower garments would have also been easy. It is standard procedure per textbooks and many heart cath sites to cover the gential area to maintain patient privacy and dignity. They did not nor did they seem to care. They left him totally exposed before and after the procedure. Asking and getting his permission, keeping exposure to a minimum, and not allowing unnecessary personnel to be present when patient genitals are exposed is what constitutes proper practices. What was done to my husband in the cath lab constitutes not only sexual assault but medical assault as he did not give consent to having the procedure done as he was high from the drugs.
Once he arrived in the patient room, he was again sexually assaulted. It was not necessary to leave him totally exposed. It was inhumane to expose him to all present but it was also inhumane to require him to urinate in front of all present too. It is part of a nurse’s oath to protect the patient in her care. Feather Wench was intentionally cruel and abusive. She and the other nurse knew exactly what they were doing as the other nurse asked him questions like was he sexually abused by his spouse while she was actually participating in sexually abusing him. He remembers them laughing constantly. There are methods that a nurse can use to not expose a patient’s genitals during sheathe examinations. Wench had been a nurse for 10 or so years graduating from a university in Indianapolis. She knew exactly what kind of abuse she was inflicting on a man who was clearly still deeply affected from to what amounted in his individual case of being given too many drugs. Remember, he had told the first hospital that he is deeply and profoundly affected by drugs. He relied on them to protect him by giving them that information. He had no idea that giving a medical provider such important information would allow them to use it against him.
I read an article written by a doctor in which he stated no patient should be left alone without having their advocate present while hospitalized. The hospital my husband was in made every effort to make sure he was isolated while he drugged. Feather Wench kept him isolated and in her control for over 2 hours until we finally was able to flag down the other nurse although she was headed in the opposite direction from us. Once inside his patient room, Feather Wench told us we were outside of visiting hours and needed to leave. That was a lie. Being new to having someone in CCU, we believed her. We did not know he could have someone with him at all times. Feather Wench wanted him isolated so her fun could continue and it did until her shift was over.
The damage done to us by what happened can never be erased or go away. It is a worry that invades each day with what if he or anyone we care about would be hospitalized? How can we prevent abuse/assault from happening again? Because of the drugs, he was forced to become their victim. He suffered through the torment and wasn’t able to stop it. Drugs mess with both your physical and mental abilities especially the drugs that can be used for “date rape.” Both and especially in combination, fentanyl and versed can make anyone a victim of date rape. Some may remember all of what happens, some may remember part of what happens, and some may remember none. My husband remembers part of what happened. He fears for what he doesn’t remember. I saw Wench abusing him but didn’t make the connection until the next day after some of the shock wore off. The next day, he too realized what happened after he had recovered some from the effects of the drugs. For anyone who has been a victim of sexual abuse, it is a memory that will not go away.
So basically, any time the genital or breasts are not the subject of the procedure or surgery, they should not be exposed. There are garments made to be worn during surgery to eliminate exposure. If they are exposed, that in my opinion, constitutes sexual assault. Sexual assault is done for the benefit of the person in power to harm a person who is defenseless. Anyone who may become a patient needs to be educated as what could happen once you do become a patient. While a patient, you are at risk for sexual assault at any time by any medical worker for any reason. To drive home the risks, I read a blog remark by a doctor stating perhaps a female nursing resident of child-bearing years who is comatose should be put on birth control to avoid becoming pregnant. This is how a defenseless patient should be protected? The sexual assault can happen but lets make sure she doesn’t become pregnant so the assaults can happen over and over again without any consequences? His attitude was not how should the patient be protected from becoming a victim, how to deter or punish such crimes but make further endanger the victim by giving them birth control pills so there is no pregnancy. Typical medical community reaction of not admitting there is an issue and how to correctly deal with it. Protecting the patient is not their first concern but rather protecting themselves and their co-workers are of upmost importance. Their slogan of “Do No Harm” only applies to themselves avoiding the consequences of their harming a patient.
Medical workers are taught in their educational process how to preserve and protect a patient’s dignity/modesty. Unfortunately, for way too many, it is not important especially with the use of drugs such as versed and fentanyl that makes patients unable to defend themselves against improper sexual exposure. Medical personnel should always protect their patients so that intimate exposure is not traumatic for the patient and is limited as to done only when absolutely necessary and with only necessary personnel present. No audiences such as sales reps unless agreed upon by the patient before they are drugged. Otherwise it should be a hard “no”. It is not even a fine line between what constitutes sexual abuse and what constitutes sexual assault. It is a very clear line as you can see from happened to my husband. We, as all of us are potential patients, should fight for the right to have our modesty/dignity protected. There are several methods in which that can be done. All patient contact should have audio recordings. All medical personnel or persons in attendance with the patient should be clearly identified. All patients should have their own personally chosen advocate present during any medical encounter whether it be a doctor’s office visit, an ER visit, or even surgery. It can be done as they even allow middle school students to shadow in surgery. Any time a patient could be exposed needs to have protection built in for the patient. Most hospitals have video recordings that are for their use only. They will not share these with the patient. Read your consent form and you will find out you are giving them the right to video you. However, you do not have access to this video and you do not have control over how this video is used or by whom it can be seen by. There is a very excellent website www.patientmodesty.com that has a lot information which can help you navigate this maze of issues in patient modesty/dignity. Be proactive and help prevent yourself or someone you love from becoming a victim. It may not be 100% possible to avoid becoming a victim of sexual assault in medical care but at least you will know that you tried.
Not Patient Centered Care
Healthcare in America is not Patient Centered Care (PCC) as the healthcare industry would like us to believe. It may be Physician Centered Care or even Hospital Centered Care but certainly healthcare in the US is not patient-friendly or even there for the benefit of the patient. The patient is merely the tool in which they use to make money or to control. According to an article by T.R. Reid for The Atlantic, healthcare made more than 3.4 trillion dollars in 2016 or in more plain terms, $1 out of every $6 is spent on healthcare. It is big business but it is not consumer friendly.
So what do we get for all the money that is spent on healthcare? For too many, they get on board the lifetime train of pills and procedures. For some, while they are on board of the train of pills and procedures, they get more than they bargained for by the way of medical and sexual assault. However, to be medically or sexually assaulted while receiving healthcare is perfectly acceptable. Just ask Medicare via CMS vis Livanta. Just ask most any attorney who refuses representation of a client who has been assaulted. Just ask any hospital administrator what they think about when a patient tells them of an assault especially if the patient was a male. Just ask any health insurance provider. No one cares except the assaulted and their families. In the US as I don’t know about any other countries, nurses are idolized. They are put upon pedestals. They can do no wrong. They are the most trusted class of workers in this country. Most nurses are females at over 90% of them being female. Male nurses aren’t normally as trusted or idolized. Male nurses generally are not in intimate care situations with female patients such as in labor or delivery. Most published stories of nurses sexually abusing a patient is that of a male nurse/female patient. Usually conscious women have the option of asking for a female nurse for intimate care. It is when they are unconscious, drugged, or otherwise incapacitated that most of the sexual abuse incidents may happen. For male patients, there are few male nurses. Most of their care will be delivered by a female nurse. Also, the majority of techs in a hospital are also female except mammogram techs are almost always female whereas prostate ultrasound techs are generally female performing such an intimate procedure on the male patient.
However, even when women are having surgery their request for an all female staff may be ignored by the hospital as what they don’t know is okay to happen. After all, while someone is a patient they cannot expect to have their personal dignity respected. Hence is why the US is so reliant upon pre-anesthetic and during surgery anesthetic drugs. Before surgery is when the prep happens. The hospital performs prep with their patients drugged so they cannot resist and also cannot remember. Prep is generally done in a matter of convenience for the staff and not with the dignity of the patient in mind. In other words, because the drugs may make a patient submissive, disinhibited, and erase memories, it allows the staff to have the patient totally exposed when not necessary. The reasoning is that it takes less time and consideration of the staff if the patient is totally naked. It may save the staff a few seconds of time in the covering and uncovering of a patient but does justify the sacrificing of patient dignity/respect? Sacrificing personal dignity is of no concern to them because it is not perpetrated on them. For their care, they generally go to a different facility because being left totally naked for anyone and everyone to see and comment on does matter at least when there are the subject of the exposure. However, they will tell a patient who may object that they have seen in all before, that don’t have something different, etc. but it does matter to the one who is being exposed.
I am in no way questioning the sometimes necessity of genitals being exposed for a medical necessity. There are certain procedures which require it as there as also certain procedures that do not require it. I am questioning the constant need for medical staff to expose patients unnecessarily without any thought to patient dignity or respect. It is a question also of how it is done. Is the exposure explained to the patient beforehand? Has the patient been given gender care choice? Are drugs being used to primarily accommodate the staff’s treatment of the patient during the prep time? Also, anytime a patient is exposed it should be explained and permission granted. It should be done in a way that adheres to the basic concept that all patients should be treated with dignity and respect. Has the patient received relevant information above the usage of drugs, what they do, why they are needed in addition to the right of refusal? The answer to the majority of these questions is probably no. Most medical providers will rapidly go over the use of anesthetics because primarily they don’t feel patients have right of choice in matter and secondly they are not smart enough to understand. Many medical providers don’t feel patients have the right to know. It is a part of the secret workings of the medical community and they don’t disclose voluntarily or freely this type of information.
A drug known as versed which is in the benzodiazepine class is their favorite drug of choice. In addition to versed, many will receive fentanyl along with the versed. Versed will be given under the guise of making you less anxious but primarily it is given as an amnestic and it also makes you disinhibited or in other words you won’t object to being naked. Fentanyl is generally a painkiller. However, fentanyl has properties that can paralyze, make you not care or give you a high, and cooperative. Together these drugs are used for many procedures including colonoscopies, heart catheterization, and dental work to name a few. They also may be given as pre-sedative to general anesthesia. Why does a patient need this type of cocktail merely for prepping is beyond my understanding? To me, it serves merely as a convenience to the medical staff so they don’t have to deal with an alert patient thus be more careful in how they deliver their care.
Many times fentanyl and/or versed will be given in route to the hospital by the EMT service or in ER. There are cases where these drugs are given because it is easier to manage a patient who has been drugged. For instance, they can skip giving informed consent for whatever procedure they want as the patient is unable to interfere and the family can be kept isolated from the patient. This works well for patients who have made it known they don’t want to have what the medical industry considers it latest gold standard of treatment. The latest gold standard of treatments is usually a huge money-making venture for a hospital. For example, if you have a heart attack that is classified as a STEMI, they automatically think they have the right to perform a percutaneous coronary intervention (PCI) which is a heart catheterization with stenting. PCI is preferred over open heart surgery. It is pushed because recovery time is quicker. However, most PCI patients will need to be re-cathed at some point maybe more than once. PCI also requires the use of medicine for the rest of your life as stopping the medicine may cause a fatal heart attack to occur. It also may not open all arteries that have blockages. CARB or open heart surgery, takes more recovery time but is more thorough. Certain medicines may be required for life. However, in an emergency situation, there are more doctors trained to perform PCI than open heart surgeries. Oftentimes, the ER PCI doctor is one who is needed more experience to be able to attract non-emergency patients. Most patients having a PCI want an experienced doctor but in what is termed an emergency, you get whoever is on call. If you are what is termed as emergency patient, do you think that while you are laying drugged and naked on the cath. lab table that all of this is explained to you and that you actually are able to understand it? That is what they know and count on. They also count on that you will be so grateful they saved your life that you will not investigate as to what really happened.
Most people have better control over what happens in a doctor’s office or even when getting a test done at a hospital especially if no sedative cocktail is used. Many patients do not know the sedative cocktails are not really needed. In Europe, they generally do not use versed/fentanyl when performing a PCI. They may use music as a relaxation method. A PCI procedure is more uncomfortable at times than painful. The real pain may come afterwards when they may be suturing and then they generally choose not to use any numbing agent because your pain at that time is not really their concern. They performed the procedure so if you suffer a little pain, you may or may not remember it. In colonoscopies, the sedatives are very useful for the medical personnel as you probably will not remember how they treated you during the procedure. It also allows them to perform the scoping more quickly as they do not have to go slower to prevent pain. However, going faster may actually harm you as there is a greater risk of perforation. Even if you experience pain during the procedure because the fentanyl didn’t work, the versed will probably erase it from your memory along with other memories. Some only administer versed because they know it will most likely erase the pain and torture from your memory.
Female patients may actually have better control over who sees them exposed than male patients. With the exceptions of doctors, most hospital staffs are overwhelmingly female. Male patients have very little choice. However, most stories of sexual abuse that are investigated or published are about a female patient being sexually assaulted by a male staff member. Too many times this is done by a male doctor even with a female chaperone in attendance. Always be leery of any male medical personnel member wanting to examine you intimately without any witness even the chaperone solution is not perfect. I would suggest you have a trusted observer of your own present such as a husband or boyfriend. It may take years and many victims for this to come out. It is rare for a fully alert female to be attended to for intimate care by a male medical staff member but it does happen. It would be more common for a drugged, unconscious, or mentally challenged female to be given intimate care by a male caregiver as they figure what is the harm because the female is unable to complain.
For male patients, most caregivers in a medical setting are going to be female. Even for prostate related issues, your doctor may be a male but if you have a procedure or exam done, the chaperone or prep person will most likely be female. Many male patients feel ambushed as they are not aware of the female presence until they are undressed and at a disadvantage. Many at that junction will remain silent but very upset and resentful. For hospitalized male patients, they will most likely have intimate care performed by female staff members. They will not be asked if they are okay with this nor will many of the male patients actually know they have the right for same gender care. It is a dirty little secret that hospitals keep hidden. Too many times male patients may be sexually abused while hospitalized. Some female staff members may have issues with males as some doctor or maybe even their husband or father added to their male hating practices so they can easily take out their hatred on a defenseless male patient. This may particularly happen when a male is drugged, older but can happen to a younger male not knowing what is appropriate and what is not. Female nurses have been known to leave drugged male patients genitals completely exposed without medical necessity so other non medical staff can view and humiliate the patient. Of course, proving this kind of sexual abuse has happened is difficult because they stick together and the patient has no record of it except their word. There is not anyone in government, law, etc. who care this type of abuse does happen to male patients.
For all patients, regardless of being male or female, emergency care is full of personal dignity/respect issues. Too many times, a patient is stripped and left naked for all to see including visitors to the ER of other patients. There are some on some blogs that say ER patients should not expect to be treated with personal dignity/respect but that is when the medical staff should be even more vigilant in protecting them. In fact, that is part of the nursing oath to protect patients in their care. There is no reason for a female heart attack patient to have her breasts exposed after the EKG leads have been placed. There is no reason for a male patient to have his penis/testicles exposed when being prepped for a PCI. There are garments that are specially made to cover the breasts or genital areas so as not to interfere with the needed area. Every patient should be given these garments to don so as they can have their personal dignity/respect intact. No patient should go to an ER and leave feeling they have been sexually assaulted by medical staff. What does that do for the overall recuperation process of the patient? Does being sexually assaulted encourage patients to return to an ER again for care if needed? Some say if they are sick it doesn’t matter but it really does. If they are so careful during a routine doctor’s visit not to have a person of the opposite gender present then shouldn’t that also be as important when they may be unable to defend themselves? To me, it is even more important when you are more defenseless. That is when you are most likely to be sexually assaulted. Some of the sexual assaults are done because they don’t like the few seconds of time it takes to uncover and cover up a body area. They are just in too much of a hurry to care about you as a person. Some is done intentionally as it is a way to control and belittle. It is a proven form of torture that having a prisoner naked in a room full of dressed, uniformed personnel makes them more cooperative and defenseless. Our society has ingrained in us the need to have certain areas of our bodies covered. Why should we be expected to be okay with our bodies being uncovered unnecessarily in medical settings just for the convenience or perverted control issues of the medical staff?
It is a scary proposition to think about Medicare for all. It is scary enough now having private insurance being able to dictate your medical care and having access to all your medical information. There is no medical privacy for most of us. All of our medical information is available to whoever, whenever they want. There is no protection for the average person. Seniors have the least protection as Medicare does not protect Seniors from abuse by the medically system. Medicare and its oversight branches like CMS and Livanta only investigate complaints based what was written in the medical record by the criminal medical provider. They seem to have the idea that medical people do no lie or falsify records for self-protection. Or maybe they do know and just don’t care because old people are the least important people in this country. They are in fact, the only class of people required by law to pay for medical care more than twice by having to pay into Medicare and also carry insurance through a Medicare approved private provider along with prescription drug coverage being separate from medical care. Thank you George W. Bush discriminating against old people! He will never know as he gets the Cadillac policy for having been president and also he is wealthy and has choices. But for the rest of us, it is different. Medicare doesn’t protect the people it is supposed to serve. Why would we want everyone to have to have Medicare? (I will write about this travesty later because there is so much wrong with Medicare.)
Most people will never know they have been medically or sexually assaulted. The drugs usually take care of them knowing. Most people will never realize that surgery prep involves them being totally naked even when they may only have foot surgery. Most people may never realize the doctor and nurses have lied about them consenting to a procedure when they were brought into ER. Most people will never know if something inappropriate was done to them while they were drugged such as a picture of them being taken on a personal cell phone because the nurses thought a male patient had a penis they needed to post on Facebook for their friends to see. In fact, most trust nurses and most people do not want to admit that female nurses can and do act in a sexual fashion towards male patients. Most female patients are leery of male medical staff but somehow society has not been able to admit that female medical staff can and do act in the same predatory fashion. Most males who have suffered abuse remain quiet if they are aware of what has happened. Most people do not and would not believe a male patient if he told them he was sexually assaulted while in the hospital or seeking medical care. This is what those female predators count upon.
Most people do not know that hospitals routinely do procedures that patients have not consent to have done especially if they have been admitted to the ER. Most people do not know informed consent is not informed consent if it is done while they are drugged. There are warnings issued for patients who have procedures done with versed/fentanyl not to make any major life decisions for 24 hours following the procedure. So why would anyone think it is okay for informed consent to be given to a patient who was drugged 30 after 100mcg of fentanyl and immediately after receiving 2mg of versed with an additional 50mcg of fentanyl and the hospital would label that person alert x3? Most people do not know that the new gold standard of treatment in the American healthcare system is medical and sexual assault. Not only does it make them loads of money but it also gives them complete power and control. There is no system out there to challenge them so they will carryon and even become more emboldened.
It has happened again—another person who wanted to kill and/or hurt a lot of people. Listening to some new media, celebrities, and politicians the cure to end this type of killing is to ban guns. They seem to have the idea that the gun walked into the area itself and started firing. Banning guns in their minds will seem to cure massing killings. However, their reasoning is flawed. Guns are only the means used by sick individuals to commit their carnages. If they cannot use guns, they will use something else.
Automobiles kill many more people than guns. In fact, drunk drinkers and/impaired drivers from drugs kills many more people. We have people driving without licenses who kill others as there are driving an auto illegally. So should we also not ban automobiles because some commit crimes while driving?
What these pundits don’t realize is we need to fix people. They are the issue. Today’s America is very divisive, hateful, and rude. Television and newspapers vomit hate. There is no tolerance. In the past, when a president is elected that you don’t agree with or like, you dealt with it and tried to vote him out in the next election cycle. That would hold true for any politician in office. However, in today’s climate, since they don’t like the president, they talk hate all the time and impeachment. They have left the country struggling because they are not doing their true job. Most media outlets have also done the same by choosing to lead the charge. Celebrities in all their wisdom have used their influence to also preach this atmosphere of hate and intolerance. After all, many celebrities are shining stars of how well their personal lives have fared with the drug abuse, relationship failures, temper tantrums, etc. so they are perfected qualified to give advice to their impressionable followers.
There have been many presidents that I have not voted for or even liked. Bushes and O’Bama come to mind. In my mind, both Bushes were elitists with one being extremely stupid and smirky while O’Bama was clearly racist towards white people. However, I lived with them as being president. I respected they were elected and I respected the office they held. I did not agree with most things they did but they were president. However, many now think if they don’t agree with who is elected to an office, they can overthrow the election. They no longer think they have to adhere to the rules. You know that story will change when their person eventually gets elected. That is because they are so narrow-minded they cannot even see to the end of their nose. They are like 1st graders on a playground that never learned the rule of playing nice, sharing, caring, and no bullying. So it is no small wonder that all of their hatred has filtered down over the years to the common person. The common person sees that politician and celebrities have no boundaries so therefore that is acceptable.
I also see video games being blamed. But what about television and the abrasive atmosphere it embraces? Have they not seen what they broadcast? One murder show after another or a super hero movie just overwhelmingly full of needless violence but yet they criticize video games? Are they saying that video games are real instead of being fantasy as supposedly super hero movies are? Many television shows are over the top. Many give step-by-step guides on how to commit a crime. They feed the fascination in society for the morbid and the ill. The news media is also guilty of fueling hatred and the need for some to commit such heinous crimes by their constant atmosphere of hatred and their sensationalizing of the subsequent crime that was committed because of the toxic atmosphere created by society in general.
It is not young people who have the issue of not respecting life or really anything in general. Older people are guilty also. In the past 15 years, society has greatly changed. Too many people are no longer kind or even polite. There is certainly a lack of respect for our fellow human being. I think this lack of respect is evident in any walk of life and not just in the medical community as I have written about in many blogs. It exists everywhere.
Just this last week, I parked my slightly older Lexus next to a cart corral to protect it from being banged on both sides. I hugged the cart corral. My Lexus is immaculate as I take care of my vehicles. My 80+ years old mother was in the vehicle. A 400+ pound man, older with his wife in a wheelchair was parked in the vehicle to the left of my SUV. We were not in a handicapped space. The man pushed his wife in the wheelchair up between our vehicles with her whining to be closer. She was also very large. So all the way up the left side of my immaculate vehicle I now have paint scratches, dents, and scuffs. Not only because he pushed a wheelchair all up where there was no room (I was very far away from the left line on my side), but also because once there he throw up the metal basket so it hit the side of my vehicle and damaged the paint. My 80+ year old mother got out to confront him. He told her he didn’t do it and really didn’t care. He got in his car and left. My mother didn’t know what else to do. If I had been there, it would have been a different story. Because of what happened to my husband and me when he was medically and sexually assaulted, I no longer take crap. Be polite but be firm. This episode demonstrates that too many average citizens do not care and will not take responsibility for their actions. They also feel entitled and have no respect for others. If those people have children, you can bet those children are also lacking in compassion and general civility. It is no wonder our medical community is so cold, callous, abusive, uncompassionate, etc. It is also no wonder we have people who enjoy inflicting mass pain on people they do not even know.
As far as I can see, guns do not kill but people do. If they don’t use a gun, they will use something else to inflict pain and damage. Fixing the atmosphere in which we live is the answer. Everyone needs to take a good, hard look in the mirror. Do they like what they see? For those who have been affected by tragedy, their lives will never be the same.