How One Nurse Abused My Husband

I will call this nurse Feather Wench.  She is a bleached blonde woman who thinks she eludes the southern belle charm and somewhat famous looks.  She also likes to party and drink.  I have done my research on those who have abused and violated my husband to try to find out their motive(s).   In general, I think this person is just a bad person who is in over her head as far as nursing skills, compassion, and just being humane.

Nurse Wench started her abuse of my husband when he first arrived in the Cardiac Critical Care Unit.  Wench has worked at Rancidcan for almost 11 years.  She is not new to cardiac care.  There is a reason I am mention this.

He was taken by gurney by 2 of the heifers from the cath lab.  He was still very out of it from the drugs that he should have never received.  Once to the room, they used the waffle mattress to transfer him to the bed.  During the transfer, the gown that they threw on him right before the transfer, fell off.  The first comment out of Wench’s mouth was that he did not have the right gown on for her area and that needed to fixed immediately.  So instead of getting him settled and hooking him up to the life-saving equipment he needed, Wench left him naked and exposed while she searched for the proper gown.  You would think that:  1.  a qualified nurse would know that hooking him up to life-saving equipment would be the number one priority, 2.  What Rancidcan gown a patient arrived in really didn’t matter, 3.  Wench would not leave a patient naked and exposed meaning no gown, no cover, and no curtain closed.   This is how his time with Wench started.   Since he was drugged, he does not remember every second of time but the constant exposure was so horrible to him that if has been able to penetrate their purposeful memory erasing tactics.

These transfers of patients from gurney to their must be conducted in secret or so is the policy of Rancidcan.   No family can be present during this secret ritual.  It is a ritual we were told that would take around 30 minutes.  It took over 2 hours and that without any word from them as to why and no explanation or apology.  During this time it is impossible to know all the abuse he tolerated at the hands of Wench.

After the great gown crisis, Wench eventually found her correct gown and put in on him.  However, she for whatever reasons, did not pull the gown around his genital area nor did she pull the blanket up around that area.  He had 2 medical devices sutured to his thighs (again w/o any numbing agent).  These devices were the 2 devices that were supposedly to be use to give his heart a rest after his heart attack.  However, Wench was not able to get at least one of them hooked up and working.  However, there is no note of this in his medical record as they purposely do not put negative information such as this in medical files so it can prove their incompetence, neglect, and substandard care.

Unknown to us, just the family worrying in the waiting room, wondering what is going on, Wench has a room full of techs and other staff present.  However, as she told me, she left my husband exposed as she did not know how to cover his genital area so the devices on his thigh were accessible.  Really?  She has been a nurse for 11 years and at least 4 years of schooling, and she did not know how to fulfill her oath of protecting patient dignity?

What is also astound is during this time, she performed full bedpan duties and perineal care.  In other words, since she did not know how to protect my husband’s privacy, while these other IT techs were in the room, she made my husband urinate and then cleaned him up in their presence for all their entertainment needs.  How callous, heartless, and sexually abusive/inappropriate!  According to the medical records, this happened at least 3 times.  I can’t believe she would subject a defenseless patient to such a public display.  Even the curtain was not drawn to shield him from the hallway and a set of main doors opened and closed continuously right outside of his room.  Of course, we did not know this at the time.  This went on for over 2 hours.  This Wench made my husband a public spectacle for over 2 hours.

They never came to get us but eventually my son said that the next _sshole he saw exiting from that door (by my husband’s room), he was going to stop.  He heard the door and was up in a flash.  A dark hair nurse, I will call Joker Some Joke ( who also pulled social work duty asking questions of a man heavily sedated and just out of a major procedure had he been out of the country recently, etc), exited the doors and was heading away from the waiting room.  He quickly caught up with her but before he could say anything, she turned to him laughing the entire time, “I was on my way to come and get you to take you to your husband’s room.”  First off–no she wasn’t on her way to get us because she exited the doors and was heading in the other direction.  Secondly, she was talking to my son and not to me as I was slower in getting up so my husband is not my son’s husband.  By the time, they had gotten over to where I was, she was still laughing.  She said still laughing, “I just came from his room. (LAUGHING STILL)  I am not his nurse.   (LAUGHING STILL).  The nurse had trouble hooking him up to his machines and I have been helping her out. (LAUGHING STILL)   I will buzz you and he is in room C366 at the end of the hall.”  She buzzed us in, and still laughing, she turned and left.

As we were entering the room, my son said he thought he had left his diabetic supplies in the waiting room because he had to jump up quickly to get to that nurse as they didn’t have the decency to let us know anything for over 2 hours  (my husband had been taken to the rm. around 1:50a and now it was exactly 4a.  My husband has said how desperately he wanted to see me and thought maybe I had gone home and they said nothing to him.).  I knew with the stress from how Rancidcan had treated us, that his glucose level was nearing 400.  He was taking readings a lot.  He is a fairly new Type 1.  I told him he had better quickly go back and get his supplies.

I entered the room.  Wench was standing on his right side with his genital area exposed while she was doing something on the bedside computer.  As she turned she was smiling but stopped smiling when she saw it was someone other than a hospital employee and pulled is covers up and said, “You will have to leave as I need to look at his groin areas and I can’t do that without exposing him.”  I said that I am his wife.  She looked like she did not believe it and asked me for my name.  I told her I am Mrs. _______.  She looked at her computer screen and hit some keys and asked again who I was.  I said I am his wife, Mrs. _______.  She said she wanted my first name.  I told her.  She wanted me to spell it.  I did.  She then laughingly said, “You can stay as I think I just figured out how to look at his groin without exposing him.  She also said that she had had issues with his machines and was catching up on paperwork.”  While she said this, she was pulling up the covers between his legs while leaving his gown bunched up around his stomach area.

I was so numbed and beaten down by what I had already gone through, that I was not my usual self.  I live daily with the knowledge of what that Wench said and I did nothing to defend my husband who was helpless as her captive.  I will never forgive myself.

When I saw my husband, I knew he was drugged.  He never said anything except yes or no in response to my questions.  He didn’t initiate conversation nor did he reach for my hand like he would normally.  He mostly kept his eyes closed but could respond with prompting.

We stayed less than 10 minutes as Wench only told us we were outside of visiting time and could visit him during normal visiting hours.  She added as she handed us a paper with a number she had wrote down that if we wanted to call and talk with him we would have to have this number or else we would not be allowed to talk to him.  I left his cell phone with him as I asked him if he would like to have his cell phone and he said yes.   I dialed our daughter so she could her her dad’s voice as we weren’t allowed much information to give her nor were we allowed to stay.

However, as Wench has documented in his medical records, we were visiting around 3a.  That is a lie and falsification of a legal medical record to cover her as_.  She also states she gave us all kinds of information about his condition, his medication, his equipment, his diet, etc.  There are pages and pages where she falsified his medical records saying she had done her job correctly.  She never told us anything.  Somewhere  around 3a, Wench dated and put an X on a legal document for my drugged husband to sign saying he would accept blood transfusions.  If he had not been drugged, he would have never signed this paper but Wench again took advantage of him.  As I said, I knew at 4a that he was drugged out of his mind.

Wench never told me I could have spent the night in his room.  She never told me anything about his condition.  She only told me about exposing him and about the number.

Sometime after we left, my husband said he remembers starting to feel nausea.  This is a side effect he normally experiences from pain killer and told SS Teaching Hospital but they failed to write this down and Rancidcan failed to ask.  There was a standing order for Ondansetron that is used for nausea due to pain killers.  However, for whatever reason, it was never used.

Around 6 a, he started choking and vomiting.  He was laying almost flat.  He was able to turn his head and eventually vomited towards his left shoulder onto his gown, blanket, and sheets.  Wench proceeded to clean him up.

First Wench throws back his blanket.  She then stripped off his gown.  She uses a towel around the messy area and goes to found new bed linens and a gown.  She then tells him to turn on his side, still naked and the curtain not closed and nothing over his genital region.  He could feel her missing with the sheets and eventually she tells him to roll to the other side, still naked.  She pulls the sheets and then has him lay on his back again.  She then washes him still leaving him totally exposed.  She then puts a new gown on him and then a blanket.  Apparently, Wench was not present during her educational process that total exposure of the patient is not acceptable.  She should be conscientious and keep the patient’s genital area cover as a sign of human respect.  Apparently, my husband is not worthy of her not sexually assaulting him whenever she had the opportunity.  Luckily, there was a shift change a few hours later and Wench’s reign of terror was over.  The other nurses did not have the sexual inappropriateness that Wench had or to a lesser degree demonstrated,  Joker Some Joke.

The effects of the fentanyl and Versed made him unable to put his thoughts into words/actions during most of time at Rancidcan.  During his last day there, his head cleared enough that he knew he had to get out of there.  He didn’t want to tell me then about how he had been abused because he knew I was going through hell from what they had done to me.  Neither of us knew why he had had this procedure done.  Each thought the other had given consent when actually, no consent is needed by patients or family once you become their victim by entering their door.  However, now he feels that he was sexually violated by Wench in addition to having had a procedure that he did not want and did not consent to have done.  He suffers from PTSD.  The things that he does remember scare him and me but what really scares us are the things he cannot remember.  He no longer trusts any female nurses and always wants me present.  If I can’t be present, he will not accept treatment as he is justifiably afraid of female nurses/staff.  My husband is scared and has changed since this horrible experience.  He no longer trusts these people to do the right thing.  He is angry that they chose for him what he now has to live with forever and having to take prescription medicine that in turn will likely cause issues with all the side effects each of them have.  He worries about me and the stress I have suffered along with his own stress.  We both worry about with their abusive treatment of him, their lies, and mistakes what does his future health look like?  Did they actually do him no addition harm in the procedure?  He is upset that they did not protect his personal privacy but also did not protect his medical information privacy.  They also have sent his personal private identifiable information and medical information to many registries and data collection agencies without his permission.  He feels totally violated.

I have PTSD.  I feel I let my husband down by not protecting him from these evil people.  I feel victimized by Boris Hollow the chaplain who invaded our privacy and refused to go away.  I feel angry that they refused to let me see him before the procedure as they wanted no interference with their plans.  I am angry about the rude and sexist doctor.  I am angry at the whole cath lab experience being done w/o consent and how badly they treated me.  I am beyond angry at Wench and Joker Some Joke for the abusive treatment we know of and scared of what else they might have done.  We are angry because Rancidcan and SS Teaching Hospital doesn’t care about how harmful their actions have been.  My son feels angry that he and I were victimized and that his father was abused and victimized.  My daughter also is suffering from the stress of what has happened.  We will never forget how badly these people harmed us.

Being in Prison

Oops!  Did I say prison instead of hospital?  To me, the terms are interchangeable.   Let’s see how they are similar:


Check    Loss of basic human rights  (cannot decide your fate)

Check   Loss of bodily privacy (strip search similarities)

Check   Visiting privileges may be suspended

Check   Isolation

Check   Dictate what food you eat

Check   Daily inspections

Check   Parole hearings (discharge or dismissal)\


Okay, so let’s explore each of one of these individually.  I have not ever been an inmate of a county, state, or federal facility but I have had the unfortunate opportunity to be both an inmate and a visitor to the hospital-prison system.  As you may have read in earlier blogs, my husband had a heart attack late last summer.  During his incarceration and my subsequent dealings with the hospital, it did indeed feel like a prison to both of us.  I guess having a heart attack was not punishment enough.


First of all, we learned they don’t tell you everything you need to know.  Whether that is part of their plan or an accident, I am not really sure but I think it is part of their plan.  How could they do these events over and over again and make so many “mistakes?”

When they said he would be transferred to another hospital because they weren’t a full service hospital was true.  However, they said he would be going to the other hospital in order to evaluate his treatment options.  What they didn’t say is that neither he or I would be included or have the right to decide what treatment he would have.  That, to me, is a loss of basic human rights.  Do we not have the right to decide our life choices?  Apparently, if you are hospitalized, you lose that right.  Also, when they ask you about drugs you have had problems with in taking, they can decide “if” they will write down that information.  Since they knew what was in store for him at the other hospital and what drugs would be used, they did not write down that painkillers and Versed had adverse side effects.  They purposely put his life in danger because they wanted to be able to use fentanyl and Versed on him.  The helicopter crew gave him fentanyl when he did not need it as the cath labs like to receive their incoming patients drugged and cooperative with what is about to unfold.  That is the long and the short of their actions.   They decide what they will do, how they will do it, and who will be involved.  You are drugged and have no choice.  They also have made the decision on how you live out the rest of your life.   They took a man who believed in natural supplements although he hadn’t taken them in several years and who had no history of daily prescription drug use and made sure he would take some very powerful and damaging drugs for the rest of his life.  That seemed kind of unbelieving and miffed that at his age, he wasn’t already on a regimen of prescription drugs.  Drugs, after all, are big business.  It would be interesting to see how much doctors and hospitals receive from big drug companies for prescribing their miracle drugs that have devastating side effects.  You don’t have a say in prison who your guard is and who knows your business.  It is the same way in a hospital.  You are expected to be okay with whatever staff member they choose to treat you.  They don’t care if men have male nurses but mainly females patients have female nurses for intimate care.  You cannot object when they give your information to people not needing it like the people in the public hallway or a man (non medical)  they assign to your family who will not go.  He hears all your information even though he has been told to leave.  He does not share with your family what is happening to you.  It is a secret for only them to know.  The hospital later says they have a right to have whoever they choose to have your information.  That means if the only person available is a maintenance worker then they’ll send him to your family so he can have and hear all your private health information.  Once you enter their doors, you have no rights be you patient or visitor.


As a prisoner, you have to submit to stripping naked and letting a stranger(s) look your body over, make notes, and probe cavities.  You are then given a uniform to wear so you do not have your own personal clothing.  In a hospital, you are stripped naked.  You submit to strangers looking at your body, taking notes, and probing cavities even watching you pee and poo.  You may be given a flimsy gown or paper to wear.  Then again, like my husband, you may just lay naked and exposed for any and all to see until you become so cold that it affects your physical well-being.  They may choose to give you nothing at all to cover.  Mostly in a prison, the stripping is done in from of same sex onlookers but in a hospital male patients usually have to be naked for female strangers and onlookers.  My husband had 4 females in the cath lab and at least 2 other laughing females in his CCU room alone with him for hours while he was drugged.  And the one admitted that since she wasn’t able to figure out how to not expose him until I came into the room, he was naked and exposed for over 2 hours with these 2 females and all others who came and went from his room.  It is very stressful thinking about what and why they did, and thinking about all the things they could have done that he doesn’t remember.


Prisons decide if and when you can have visitors.  They can keep you in solitary confinement only allowing you to communicate with their chosen staff and not allowing you to communicate with your family.  Hospitals decide when and if you can have visitors.  They may keep you in isolation so you are more likely to be compliant with what they have in store for you and so your family cannot question what they have in store for you.  They also may keep you in isolation because they really don’t care if you see your family or they see you.  My husband was not allowed to see me nor I him before they forced him into having a procedure he had not agreed to nor wanted.  Afterwards, he was kept isolated from us, his family, for more than 2 hours with no reason given.  Usually it takes less than 30 minutes of secrecy to complete a transfer to a patient room.  And why does a transfer have to be done in secrecy?  It is like they think they are transferring a highly dangerous criminal whose gang will try to bust him out during transfer?


Prisons have set meals and set times you can eat.  Hospitals will decide what type of diet they will allow you have.  They will let you order from a selection of bland and tasteless food and make a note if you don’t eat it because it is too nasty to eat.  During my husband’s incarceration, he was told he had to order from a certain group.  However, when he would try to order, they in turn would tell him that food item was not allowed.  If he didn’t replace it with what with the item they deemed acceptable, they would send another gross item in its place not caring whether he wanted it or not.  It is a pattern in a hospital prison of not caring what the patient wants.


At prisons, there may certain times during the day that they conduct roll call or count heads.  At hospitals, they make daily rounds with medical students and other nameless individuals.  Unlike a prison, you may have to be exposed to these strangers as they all have the right to be curious and you are the object on which they are furthering their education in order to make big money.  You, in return, get nothing out of it except having more of your personal dignity stripped away.  In hospitals, they will wake you up to ask if you are sleeping.  They come and go all day and all night.  You never are without them unless you need them.


Prisons have parole hearings where you can go and tell them how you have improved and how sorry you are for whatever you did.  You also know in advance when your sentence is over if there is no parole involved.  In a hospital, you have no idea when they may decide that you can go.  Your family has to be ready at all times to pick you up but yet hospital don’t think having them visit or keeping them informed is important.  They may dangle incentives in front of you so you can leave early such as agreeing to be part of more intrusive programs where they can contact you once you leave the hospital so they may gather more data for their registries.  If you don’t cooperate, chances are you will be leaving later than sooner.  They do not like no for answer.  They discuss the “release from hospital prison” and let you know what they have decided.  As in any parole or release, there are terms you must agree to before they actually let you out.  You must set up appointments and agree to further treatment.  It is like they really can’t let you go without making sure they own you forever.


As you can see, there are many similarities between prisons and hospitals.  The differences between the are striking.  Prisons you don’t have to pay to go to but hospitals you pay huge money in order to be there.  Prisons don’t want you to return but hospitals need for you to return as you are their cash cow.  Prisoners have rights but hospital patients don’t.  Oftentimes, patients are too ill to defend themselves and the laws are stacked against them.  Lawmakers don’t care about hospital patients being abused and mistreated but have passed laws over the years for prison reform.


It is time that reform is done.  Patients should not be treated worse than prisoners.  A patient’s only crime is getting ill.

Cardiac Catheterization Lab Experience

Although you don’t have to be given anything,it is standard operating procedure in the US to be given “conscious sedation”.  Having done my research, I have found a lot of other countries don’t require “conscious sedation.”  We all know that “conscious sedation” is more or less a zombie state that enables them to control you without you remembering much of what happened.  There is really not pain with a cath but rather pressure from the insertion of the different devices such as sheaths.  They say they use painkillers as they don’t want the patient to feel any pain but that was a lie in this case.  I’ll explain later.  They also  used lidocaine to numb one of my husband’s groins but not the other according to the medical records.  The use of lidocaine is probably all that is necessary.  Here is my husband’s story as he was allowed to remember:

He began feeling funny during his ambulance transport.  Once they landed, he felt as though he was floating above and watching what was going on.  He remembers that no one from the hospital from hell was there to greet him- the captive- and his jailers.  They finally flagged down a nurse getting into her car in a parking lot and she badged them in.  They wondered the hall until they finally found some people who directed them to the cath lab.  The ambulance jailers (I call them this as they gave him fentanyl w/o his knowledge and against what he had stated he wanted done) transferred him directly to the cold, metal cath lab table.  He remembers no Informed Consent being given although they say in him medical records that they went through the whole thing.  They say in his medical records multiple times that he was alert to person, place/event, and time.  If this was the case, why wasn’t the Informed Consent signed by him.  Why was it signed by 2 of the heifers 5 minutes after one of the heifers entered it onto the computer systems saying it had been done when in reality, it wasn’t done or signed.  They said it was an emergency and that he had verbally given his approval.  The doctor signature is unreadable and has no date or time.  He was drugged and at that point would have say “yes” anything when prompted correctly.  I am quite sure that are aware of how fentanyl makes a patient react and adjust their questions accordingly.  That is why they like them to have fentanyl prior to arrival as it makes them compliant and unable to think, question, or resist.  The 4 women rn heifers started readying him for what he didn’t know during the time supposedly they were getting Informed Consent.  Informed Consent should be done free from pressure and coercion but apparently laying naked on the procedure table being readied for a procedure you need to give consent to is acceptable to them but confusing to a drugged and intimidating to a opiate drugged individual.  Immediately upon arrival, they stripped him of his clothes without asking or even giving him the chance to do it himself.  They stuffed his clothes into a pink garbage bag (pink is kind of symbolic of the abuse of power by these female heifers–the cath lab is a world ran by women).  They left him naked without a gown or blanket, exposed to a room of people.  How can one give Informed Consent naked, exposed, and drugged?  I know how he is when he has drugs a lot less stronger than fentanyl so I know he was in no position to comprehend or give legal binding consent.  At this point, they were going to make sure he had not totally wasted their Saturday night by being called in and he choosing another method.

He remembers seeing people standing around (the 3 ambulance jailers stayed and watched for awhile as apparently they need to watch their patients when they are naked) and others coming and going.  He remembers hearing some of them talking but he doesn’t remember anyone talking to him.  He remembers one female voice in a mask telling him she was going to shave him.  He wondered why but wasn’t able to vocalize his question as the drugs had done what they intended–to make him cooperative, compliant, and not a problem.  In other words, no patient questions or participation allowed.  She shaved his whole pubic region and thighs not just the little area as described in most cath lab sites.  They also did not cover his penis up from their exposure.  No thought about allowing him his dignity because he was just an object not a human with feelings or considerations.  Most cath labs say in their literature that they respect the patient’s privacy but this also was not the case.  They use drugs such as Versed that erases most memories so they don’t have to respect the patient.  He stay exposed until they finally draped him around for the procedure.  He was probably exposed for around 30 minutes if you judge by the medical records when it actually listed the draping.  He remembers how cold he was and how upset he was that he was exposed without thought to his bodily privacy.  He felt humiliated.  However, the fentanyl had done its job and rendered his thoughts just that–he was unable to find his voice or the energy to resist. 

He remembers the pressure of the sheath insertions but says it did not hurt although the bruises on both groins and his thighs said otherwise.  I have never seen such blackness and the area was about 12 inches in diameter on both groins w/ hard lumps that are still present months afterwards.  He said he was scared, alone, and wondering why and what was happening.  No one communicated or comforted him.  The put 2 more IVs in him so he had a total of 4–2 in each bend of his elbows.  Hospital from hell did not note their IV insertions but the perverted nurse signed that she was present at the original hospital when they inserted it (no–just another lie from her).  He remembers wondering if I had okayed what was happening to him but I hadn’t.  He remembers wanting to see me but couldn’t form the words to ask.  He remembers being scared and cold until he finally started trembling violently.  He remembers seeing the screen of his heart and wondering what was going on.

He remembers after the dr. was gone still laying on the cath table (he laid there for about 50 minutes after the procedure ended according to MRs).  He remembers once again that he was laying there naked, exposed, and cold.  He remembers a female heifer voice telling him they were going to do some suturing and it would hurt a lot.  (Remember their reasoning for conscious sedation is for the patient to feel no pain–well that’s a big lie.)  He remembers even in his fog, how badly the suturing of 3 areas hurt.  They chose not to use any numbing agent as they for some reason wanted it to hurt.  Maybe because as the doctor told me, they really resented being there on a Saturday night.  (So remember that you should schedule having a heart attack during weekday hours.)  He remembers eventually being transferred, still naked, to a gurney.  He remembers them throwing a gown and then a blanket over him.  He remembers them telling him he would get to see his family shortly.  That too was a lie as it wasn’t until well over 2 hours later that we finally flagged down someone so we could find out what had happened to him.  They apparently didn’t care about his mental well being either. 

By the way heifer is the nicest term I can consistently call these RNs.  Because of the Versed and fentanyl, his memories are limited.  He did hypnosis sessions that helped him regain these.  The sessions were very traumatic for him and me but he and I needed answers.  The hypnotist was very careful as to not suggest things to him but rather let him tell his story at his own pace.

Now I know that some may have issues with this story.  We have issues with this story as it is what happened to my husband.   This story should never have happened to him.  I want to tell this story to others because I want them to be aware of what can happen.  This may be the exception to the rule or this may happen more often than we realize.  I don’t know but I do know it can and did happen so everyone should be aware.  We weren’t and this is the result.  Mistreatment, abuse, and the lack of Informed Consent.  Everytime I think or tell this story, I cry because these medical things were so cruel, abusive, and violating to especially my husband.  What I suffered pales in comparison.  The drugs weren’t necessary as he is a big boy and if he had been allowed to exercise his basic human right to freedom to choose his treatment, he would have been okay w/o the drugs.  

He will never be the same again because of what they did to him physically and emotionally.  He had a procedure done without his consent.  The cath lab RNs were abusive, sexually inappropriate, and had a total lack of compassion for him.  If he had been female, this type of over exposure would not have happened.  If he had been female patient, then that female patient would not have been left alone and drugged with 4 male RNs.  They would have kept a female covered up.  I might mention that the transferring hospital sent paperwork to this large Catholic hospital that my husband was gay by stating his spouse was a “husband.”  This may be what prompted him receiving this violative and abusive treatment.  Or it could be that some female nurses like to torture and control especially older males for some sort of issue they suffer from emotionally.

I will say that having seem pictures of some of these heifers, they look like to me they could have issues with me.  One of them, the scrub, when I saw her had the most unpleasant, ugly expression on her overly made-up face.  Her face could launch a thousand nightmares.  If you think I am being unkind, it was earned by them so I will not apologize or even feel somewhat bad about my personal remarks.  They don’t deserve any humanity as they give none in their care.