An Explanation

I have recently been educated as there are varying degrees of what is called modesty when in a medical setting.  It is strange this difference even exists because one would think that having your modesty violated in any medical setting would matter.  But according to some, it does not.  I guess those people may fall into the category of being ones who blame the victim of a rape as she wore certain type of clothing or didn’t take certain precautions as being responsible for being the victim.  Also, they are connected with the medical industry which in fact, sanctions the modesty/personal dignity violations. 

First, I would like to define what I think is the difference between modesty and outright violations of personal dignity/respect.  Modesty to me, is not wanting to have anyone especially including the opposite sex view your normally unseen parts of your body which would include the genital areas.  To me, personal dignity/respect means whoever views those personal areas take absolute care to ensure every attempt to be respectful is made and also allowing you dignity of not being overly and unnecessarily exposed.  It also means you have the right to choose who is involved in intimate care.  The two are infinitely intertwined but whether a patient is modest or not, all patients should be afforded personal dignity.  Personal dignity should not only be granted to those during office visits but to those in hospitals, nursing homes, etc. Really it is wherever any type of exposure occurs in a medical or care setting. Some on the blog felt emergency care does not qualify for respect of personal dignity. That is where I strongly disagree because oftentimes the patient is too ill or injured to defend themselves so this is why it is so important that medical people respect patient personal dignity in an unconditional manner. That differences supported by some that emergency care excludes patient’s having the right to personal dignity absolutely blows my mind.

I have recently withdrawn from participating in a blog site that some have very different views which I do not understand.  They are able to justify violations of personal dignity/respect or even lack of modesty.  It seems who views these areas also makes the difference.  To some, a doctor of the opposite sex can view those areas but a nurse or tech cannot.  For instance, a male patient might visit a female doctor for a urological exam or procedure but does not want a female nurse or tech to do the prep beforehand for an intimate exam.   To me, it doesn’t make sense because both would be female with the only difference being the educational degree.  Frankly, if you have an issue with a female tech than I think you would have an issue with a female doctor.  All females are first and foremost sexual beings as are males. 

However, where my difference in opinion with some happened, is with hospitalized patients.  When you enter a hospital, it becomes a different world.  There is no individual left in the patient.  You just become a medical record number, a room number, or a subject of treatment.  They cease to see or understand you are a real person.  This is underscored by the way they deliver treatment care. Delivery of care is done in the most convenient way for them. Covering and uncovering a patient takes seconds and they are not willing to give a few extra second to provide humane and dignified care. What other aspects of care are they willing to discard in favor of getting things done quicker so they can do whatever?

If you are unfortunate enough to become what is termed as an emergency patient, then according to some on that blog, you have no right to expect to be treated with personal dignity.  Anything goes and is acceptable.  Even when that patient is past being in the emergency room and becomes an inpatient meaning receiving care in a patient room, they are not entitled to being treated with personal dignity.  I can understand the need to quickly and professionally evaluate injuries especially if a person is unconscious and has serious injuries.  However, for that of a heart attack patient, there is no need to strip a person immediately and leave their lower genitals uncovered.  For all, their chest area with the EKG leads should be covered as quickly as possible especially if they are female.  Some men are more comfortable with their chest covered too.  If a person is stable, then informed consent needs to be done and that should not be done while they are totally naked, laying on a table drugged out of their mind. It is a scene out of a torture manual. Maybe medical people don’t mind having the patient naked but most patients would mind being naked while having to try to understand information. Certainly being totally naked, exposed while a fully clothed stranger makes assumptions about your lifestyle and lecture you about it is from a torture manual. How utterly degrading and demeaning not to have enough respect for an individual to give them a little ounce of respect to cover them up! Is that the intent to bully them into what the clothed person in power wants to do? For most individuals, being unclothed in front of clothed individuals immediately puts us at a disadvantage and the medical community knows this and uses this to their advantage. And if drugged, the patient is completely defenseless and not able to make normal, rational decisions and is more easily persuaded. Of course, the memory erasing drugs such as versed also helps the medical community because many will not even remember what happened and will assume the medical community did the proper thing. They count on that.

Part of the issue with my husband’s treatment was that he was drugged without his knowledge, will, or even need as they lied about his pain level.  We both feel this was done as he was resistant to having anything immediately done at the second hospital without consultation.  He was stable and remained stable until midway through the procedure.  His very slim slice of being unstable which was defined as one very slightly below acceptable level of blood pressure occurred primarily due to the amount of drugs given and also when they performed a manual thrombectomy.  He had also told them he did not want any more painkillers other than the morphine he had agreed to as the morphine and nitro took care of his chest discomfort.  We believe they used the massive amount of fentanyl covertly given to him during the helicopter flight to make him submissive, compliant, and to paralyze him.  Apparently, according to one medical community member of that blog, patients need to be drugged despite their wishes.  No one but that member has the right to an opinion and his/her opinion since is the only one that can be right.  This type of behavior is standard by the medical community and this opinion is what in my opinion leads to what happened to my husband and to many others who have been abused by the medical community.  Actually, the blogger needs to read articles about drug usage in cath labs such as: which states only about 38% of European labs use fentanyl versus 92% in the US.  The article went on to state: 

 I was not wrong in stating that sedation is not necessary but rather a choice in the US so patients are rendered defenseless.  Part of the sedation, versed, is used primarily to make patients unable to remember what actually happened to them.  They don’t want the patient to remember how they didn’t respect their personal dignity by leaving them exposed or the comments they make about them.  The fentanyl also makes them not care what is happening and can physically paralyze them so they cannot move.  My husband objected to the use of both but was given it anyhow.  Why is it acceptable to inject into a patient’s body something they have refused?  Does the patient not have rights?   This person also got angry because I stated my husband’s urologist had given instructions regarding his foley catheter care that differed from his/her opinion.  So I verified that what his urologist’s were accurate by different medical Internet sites and that really set that person off.  Again, the medical attitude of being the only one entitled to an opinion, right or wrong.  However, if it is wrong, no one dares to challenge because that will set off an angry rant or personal attack.  Because I did not want to make that board into a battleground as it is someplace where people who like me are in need of information and even comfort (as long as they don’t irritate the one member), I left the blog. 

Because I have been so traumatized by what happened to my husband and that I saw the abuse but was in shock and did not recognize or speak up while also being tortured by this facility by being denied access to my husband without explanation while being virtually held prisoner by a hospital employee and meeting with the man who performed the procedure my husband didn’t want only to find out the doctor was tired and didn’t want to be there, I vented a lot.  My husband doesn’t like to talk about what happened.  I didn’t want to burden him even more by having to deal with my thoughts.  His feeling from the beginning was that most people would not believe a male patient could have been medically and sexually abused like he was.  He said in sharing his story he would be bullied and ridiculed.  He opposed sharing his story on a blog as he was aware of the bullying that can happen.  He too suffers from PTSD and is dealing with it in his way.  I deal with my PTSD in my way.  He/she said I must have a fetish or was making up the story for some vague personal reason.  However, just like in most cases those who seek to label others with issues may often have that issue for real themselves.  Personal attacks via keyboard are easy.  They can stay hidden and be as vicious as they want.  However, I do have PTSD from happened and I do not need to suffer being bullied in addition to what has already happened.  I think the blog itself was a good place for people like me or my husband (but sadly he was right about going public) to be able to vent but more importantly to bring it out in the open that horrible things happen to people while in the hospital.  I am not the first to have been bullied by this member nor will I be the last.  That blogger gets very nasty and is out of control but the moderator allows it as he believes that blog member is a member of the medical community.  I don’t know whether that is true or not as the Internet gives a lot of details into the lives of any medical position.  However, if assuming they are truly a member of the medical society, his/her attitude proves my point of too many medical people being bullies, uncompassionate, demi-gods, and totally vicious.  People like that have no business being involved in the care of sick and defenseless individuals.  I still believe what happened to my husband should be brought out into public but will go about it differently.  Besides this website, I will be writing a book.  We want to get his story out there along with what the family has been through.  Not only is there what happened that night but having to live with the consequences of having a treatment forced on an individual is incredibly traumatizing.  There were a lot of good people on that board and I hope they will read this blog and participate.  It will be a safer place because you shouldn’t have to worry about being further bullied by medical people.

What Nurses Really Do

This is now how we view nurses–as potential molesters. That is because most do not care how they act towards a patient may really cause harm to a patient. They do not care if they expose a patient unnecessarily or to whom they expose a patient. They contend that they have seen it all before or that everyone has the same body parts but it is not them being exposed so their argument doesn’t really work. Male patients are have been intimately exposed by female nurses for years. Females nurses seem to think that no male has the right to personal dignity. Most nurses are arrogant and think they have the right to belittle and demean male patients. Most female nurses seek to demean, degrade, devalue, demoralize, dehumanize, etc. male patients by their sociopathic need for power and control. By exposing male patients, they feel like the superior. Such sexual exposure is a sexual crime and those nurses who do this should be criminally charged and forever lose their licenses.

The True Definition of Air Ambulance

This is a t-shirt I have designed to say what our local air ambulance services does to people. This is healthcare’s best way to control patient outcomes. The air ambulance service makes sure that patients arrive not being able to make their own medical decisions. This is makes it easier for the hospital to do whatever they want to that patient like molest them as they did in my husband’s case. They will falsify the medical records in order to justify their actions. They have no problem in abusing their patients by making sure they take away that patient’s right to decide. They can easily accomplish what they want as they totally isolate the patient from the family while in route. They can inject drugs such as fentanyl and versed into a patient’s IV and the patient is totally unaware. They will record in the medical records the patient was in intense pain. This guarantees most patients will arrive for an unconsented for procedure submissive and compliant so the hospital can forget the patient ultimately has the right to decide treatment options. This helps fuel the hospital’s need to make big money on their gold standard treatment of the moment such as Cardiac Catheterization. It makes the time more enjoyable for the hospital staff because the patient will just lay quietly and let them do whatever they want including just exposing them for fun and entertainment. That is why it is done to provide hospital staff entertainment at the patient’s expense.

Why Isn’t Healthcare Patient Friendly?

Because of what happened to my husband last August and all that has happened since then, I have come to the conclusion that healthcare is not patient orientated. Yes, of course, patients are the specimens for care and the vehicle for payment but the delivery of healthcare is not setup to be patient friendly. According to, over 4 billion dollars will be spent on healthcare in the US this year. That is a lot of money so you would think the consumer–the patient– would have some power.

If you said yes, then you would be wrong. According to government oversight agencies like Quality Improvement Organizations part of KEPRO or Medicare oversight for us lay people, I was told by their representative that even if a patient states they do not want a certain medication, the doctor has the power to inject it into their bodies against their will. So if you are a patient and you do not want such a satanic drug such as versed that makes you uninhibited (in other words you will be agreeable when they decided to leave you naked in front of a crowd of spectators or for medical rape for females that is when they invite a group to give you multiple pelvic exams and for males that is when they invite groups to give you multiple rectal exams), submissive, and erase your memory of most the procedure events and even some before, after, and forevermore, the doctor can inject it into your body against your will and knowledge.

Another way you would be wrong is if you believed it was not okay for medical providers to falsify medical records. When a patient brings that to the attention of Medicare, then Medicare will only review the medical record from the medical provider as evidence even though you told them was falsified. What you say makes no difference for surely mere mortal are not able to tell the truth. Only the deity-like medical providers can tell the truth because they are not mere mortals. Sinmply stated, Medicare does not care if the medical profession falsified your medical record to cover up harm or mistakes. If a medical professional did not say in the medical for instance that “I sexually molested the patient by leaving him unnecessary exposed while I used him to entertain a whole room of techs” than Medicare says no harm, no foul because the medical records are more sacred and accurate than granite. If a medical professional decides to omit what drugs you have experienced severe side effects, that’s okay too and maybe it won’t kill you but that would be okay too because they would no longer have to pay your medical bills through Medicare. (I think this would qualify as a conflict of interest if we weren’t talking about patient rights because patients have no rights.) So they didn’t get your consent for the procedure because you were drugged out of your mind and they didn’t write that down. You got what they considered their gold standard of treatment which really is code for the procedure brings into the medical system a lot gold so of course that is the one they choose. Aren’t we lucky that police investigations are not ran the same way by allowing the written statement of the criminal saying their are innocent to be the end of the investigation. Apparently, polices are smarter and more ethical than Medicare investigators. Medicare also feels medical professionals are justified in lying to justify gold standards of treatment and patients do not have the right to decide their treatment plan. It is indeed a scary world when the agency that is supposed to protect senior patients from abuse and fraud are as complicit in the abuse because they essentially allow it to happen without batting an eyelash.

Now we should talk about lawmakers. They will never help patient have rights because it is not in their best interest. The healthcare industry has big power in lobbying. Lobbying means big money for lawmakers. Big money for lawmakers means they are being paid to keep healthcare like it is–a literal goldmine for the medical community and free rein on how it is run and how healthcare is delivered. The loser is the common person as we have no power or no one lobbying for us. In Indiana, the malpractice law favors the medical community so overwhelmingly that it is damn near impossible to win a malpractice suit. Our late, not-so-great Governor Otis Bowen (Dr. as in M.D.) saw to that. Of course, politicians have no healthcare worries. We foot their bills and they get the best our money can buy for them. However, they too, will get the versed to erase their memory so the procedure nurses and techs can leave them naked so they can entertain their sociopathic need to devalue, dehumanize, and demean every patient who has to have a procedure done. It is that saying “What You (the patient) don’t know won’t hurt them (the medical provider) hence is why you are drugged so you probably won’t remember them taking pictures of your genitals, making fun of their size or lack of, being fondled, for men how the penis shrinks when cold and how much cold it takes to make it shrink into itself, etc or you get the picture. This is common entertain and this is why the memory erasing drugs are used. It is for their protection as it is not in your best interests.

My father, at 85 year old, fell and broke his hip. At the ER, another location of the hospital from hell (we are limited on hospitals where I live) had an ER doctor who said multiple times while my father was lying there just wanting to get fixed and go home that , “You’re dying and there is nothing we can do for you.” My father shut down. The ER doctor was right. They did not fix his hip but he laid their for about a month with a broken hip in pain and couldn’t move. They wanted him on hospice which is another group of satanic providers I detest and abhor. I saw the look of shut down come over his facial expression. He never talked about that even though before that ER trip he was functioning as well as he could. Perhaps the ER doctor made a call to Medicare and they said get rid of this mere mortal. Could be–I don’t know. Now take a look at the healthcare provided to George Bush and Jimmy Carter. No medical expense is spared to save their lives. Broken hip–no problem it gets fixed with no questions or hesitation. Are they more entitled to life than a mere mortal?

It is also the arrogance of the medical profession. It is how they act as if they are superior to us. It is as if they are doing us a favor by us paying them to provide a service. Everything they do conveys how superior they think they are. It is very dangerous for society to have such a large class of people thinking they are superior and their rights supercede any and all of our rights. The fact the medical profession think they are feel to impose treatment upon patients without consent or knowledge is beyond troubling. What it means is anyone who enters their doors may have anything done to them. What is even scarier is they can justify it before the agencies set up to govern or oversee them. Medicare acting as CMS through Livanta turns a blind eye to what medical providers actually do. Livanta only reviews what is in the medical records. All any smart provider who wants to cover up wrongdoing has to do is to falsify the records show acceptable standards have been followed. With the advent of the Electronic Medical Records, it is very easy to manipulate the records as most procedures and such have pick and choose phrases to use. Most medical providers know what should have been done so covering up what shouldn’t have been is super easy. Livanta will not question them. So if a medical provider does not input into a medical record they sexually abused a patient, performed a procedure without consent, or a patient who was really drugged out of their mind is listed as alert and capable, Livanta accepts it as medical records do not lie according to them. Even when they found issues such as consent was not given/signed before the procedure started, they made excuses there was not although proof of that was not in the medical records. They said they were too busy before the procedure to start to document it but during the procedure they were not busy and able to document it. That makes more sense they would have spare time for documentation during an intensive procedure than before the procedure started. Livanta is clearly in the business to protect the medical provider as the reviews are done by medical providers. It is much like having a fox watch a henhouse and the farmer wondering what happened to the chickens. Medicare does not seem to have the best interest of the elderly at heart literally in this case. They were very critical of us especially me as I was the one questioning what happened as it is too stressful for my husband to emerged in this nightmare in addition to the garbage of having to live with what they have done to him–the medical and sexual assault.

Clearly once you become older, you have no recourse. They know as you age, the more likely you are to need ongoing medical care. That is the way healthcare works. Once you become a patient, you will forever be a patient. You are viewed as a money making entity. If you do not comply, then you will be punished. My husband did not comply so they taught him a lesson. No questions–just follow our commands. We were told by Rancidcan that we should get use to being exposed as we are getting older and will be having more procedures done. Get use to being abused and treated like you don’t matter? It is no wonder what suicide rates for the elderly has risen over the years. I know my husband despairs now when having to see any medical provider. He trusts none of them now. He did not feel that way before what happened.

I will be publishing parts of the letters we have received from Livanta so everyone can see how this government oversight of the medical industry works. It is truly amazing how they do not hide their bias for Medicare recipients. Perhaps if he was on Medicaid it would be different. The insurance company is smarter. They play along like they are fighting for you but in reality, they too are in bed with the medical industry. As a common patient/human, you have no one fighting for you. The medical industry does not have to care and they know it. If you die, they also know there will be someone else available to take your place in their money generating procedures, drugs, and tests. They will not miss you except if you dare to question them, they will be glad to see you go. If really makes you wonder if there really are blue pills, red pills they get to give to determine if you live or die? I bet we will get the die pills because of being disobedient in their eyes.

Medically Caused Harm

Just read some posts on #DoctorsAbuseToo and #NursesAbuseToo via Archie Banterings@MadmanBanterings on Twitter. With what happened to my husband and I, we can relate. If is difficult to reconcile the amount of harm that can be done by abusive doctors and nurses when supposedly their primary function is to deliver compassionate and skilled care to the ill patient. It utterly blows you mind to know not all of these paragons of sainthoods are there for positive patient outcomes. They might not outright physically kill you (although there have been documented cases of killer healthcare workers), they certainly mortally harm you mentality.

I have mentioned both my husband and I suffer from PTSD. It has been 10 months since the abuse happened. The abuse results have not gone away or even lessened. There is not a day or any long span of time the abuse we suffered is not in the forefront of our thoughts. It affects our every moment as we are always thinking of the consequences of what they did and what could happen if again if either of us is taken to a hospital in an emergency situation out of our control. It is a chilling thought to us that haunts our every thought.

Most people have medical treatment but most do not realize what trauma can when hospitalized because of the many drugs used to keep them compliant, submissive, confused, and without memory of the events. Patients who are extremely ill or are having a procedure done are especially vulnerable to doctor/nurse/tech abuse. Also, there is a general tendency to bury our head in the sand to avoid things that may happen to us during medical care. We may do this because we feel it is out of our control, are too ill at the time to defend ourselves, may think this is how it has to be, are afraid of speaking up for fear of retaliation, or may have other reasons. People also tend to put doctors/nurses on pedestals thinking of them as almost as demigods. Also, many healthcare workers give off the attitude of being superior and for whatever reason, most of us don’t question it. It is even the opinion of the government agencies like Quality Care Organization of KEPRO that patients do not have the right to refuse medications if a doctor wants to give it to them. That is really scary that you do not have the right to refuse what is put into your body? That means when receiving medical care, patients are not entitled to autonomy like as a citizen of the US is supposedly guaranteed in the Constitution. Medical care is exempted from respecting individuals rights and are allowed to acts as they please.

For those who have been abused, the consequences of the resulting abuse is overwhelming. For us, we don’t ever want to have medical care that involves hospitalization. Both of us would rather die than be subjected to such abuse again as we have no way in predicting which medical providers are likely to be abusers. However, we do know there are ones who abuse.

Many medical people are what I term as narcissists. A narcissist is a person who has an entirely too high opinion of themselves and thinks the world revolves around them. The entire medical community is set up in this manner. Being a narcissist is not far removed from being a sociopath. According to both feel they are never wrong and have no conscience in the horrible things they may do to people. Neither have empathy or compassion for others, feel entitled to things that want as they feel they are more important than those around them. They may act as if they had the same, stable emotions as others but it is only a game. They intentionally do things to upset people especially in public places. They may pretend interest in you so they can ask information about you that will be useful for them to use against you. They falsify stories in order to manipulate. The medical workers my husband came into contact with fit this profile–sociopaths. All sociopaths are narcissists but not all narcissists are sociopaths.

These are the kind of people delivering healthcare to our loved ones during a time when they and we are at our most vulnerable. It is no wonder that bad things happen to patients. Many patients don’t talk about what has happened while they have been hospitalized. They may be ashamed, scared, or think they can put make it go away by not talking or thinking about it. But not talking about it only allows more of this same type of abuse to grow and affect more patients.

There is no one there to protect patients except themselves or loved their loved ones if they are allowed to know what is really going on and not just the story the medical community gives them. If most potential patients knew how they would be treated while being prepped for procedure, many procedures would not happen. Most do not know they will be drugged. Like for a heart cath. they say you will be awake but you really are not. You will be drugged with both Versed and Fentanyl. The Versed is given to make you forget most everything that happens. It also makes you submissive and uninhibited. The Fentanyl will also diminish your mental and physical capabilities as well as giving some pain relief. You will be mainly in a dream cycle of sleep per the Versed. You can be aroused and you may do things you ordinarily would not do. They like their patients to be drugged as it makes their jobs easier and they can act and do whatever they want to you and you likely won’t complain, refuse, or remember. This also gives them the opportunity to take pictures of you while you are naked and drugged. Personal cell phones are always with them. They make shoot a video of you acting stupid or making a confession of something to send out in their social media or yours. They also like to make fun of patients while they are naked and drugged. Doctors are known to snap pictures of something interesting they see on a naked patient. You signed a consent form allowing them to take photos never dreaming it might be on someone’s personal phone for their spouse or frineds to see. Like in my husband’s case (this time the large drug cocktail worked against their goal), they stripped off his clothes, didn’t tell him about the procedure they had planned as he was too drugged to comprehend or fend off their medical assault, and left him completely naked and cold for a prolonged period of time. They simply didn’t care about him as a person. They were in control. They had no compassion. They are sociopaths. They falsified his medical records to cover up what they were doing to him. Stripped naked and left naked for no reason. Too drugged for informed consent to have taken place. Given fentanyl when he wasn’t in pain but did it to make him submissive and defenseless as they knew he said we would make a decision after Rancidcan had talked to both of us about what his options were. Those four women in the cath lab who stripped him and left him naked for no reason and who lied about him giving consent, are classic sociopaths. There is no remedy for what they did and like any good sociopath, they covered their tracks by falsifying his medical records. The air ambulance crew gave him fentanyl because they knew they had to make him compliant as he was not agreeable to having a cath done without us being given more information. They had to lie about his pain level in order to make it look justified. The medical staff seem to enjoy their power and control they can exert over a patient especially one they think is being difficult by not graveling at their feet and begging them to save their live in any manner. They retaliate against patients who don’t conform to what they think a patient should be. They isolated my husband so I wouldn’t be able to stop the unauthorized procedure by seeing he was so drugged. Again, they did not make note of him being drugged because that would been evidence of wrongdoing on their part.

The nurse, Feather Wench, is also a sociopath. She continued the abuse started by the cath lab. She also left him naked for no reason. She made him the center of attention to her co-workers by leaving him naked for no reason and making him urinate into a bedpan as they all watched. She also gave them the added thrill of seeing her clean his genitals like a mother cleaning her baby after changing a diaper. She made sure she demonstrated her power and control over a defenseless victim. Her social media profile talks about how pretty everyone say she is, her love of drinking, and that she is a “Southern Belle.” The laughing nurse, Winifred Le Ong ( have changed her), is clearly entranced with Wench and either strides to be like her or is afraid of crossing her. In any case, patient welfare is neither of their concern as torturing of patients seem to be their sport. Again, they achieve this by isolation and the drugs that make patients unable to defend themselves. Imagine lying there drugged while Nurse Wench is making you the entertainment but being so drugged you are unable do nothing except live through that nightmare.

Imagine days later realizing that without your consent and against what you would have had done, you now have only been sexually victimized but you must live with the horrible results of having foreign objects inserted into your body against your will. These foreign objects, stents, will forever be in your body and a forever reminder of how you were assaulted by those “compassionate” medical workers. You also find out that because you have stents, you will forever be at risk to have another heart attack because your arteries will be forever sending plaque to heal over where the stents begin because that is what arteries do when they think an artery is injured. This tendency will never go away as the metal stent will forever cause irritation to the artery making it try to heal over with plaque and platelets sticking to the plaque. Of course, they knew this happens and that is why they have a DAPT regimen of drugs to take. The drugs as I have mentioned before cause severe consequences themselves. A man who did not have high cholesterol or high blood pressure is required by the medical community to take blood thinners (so he can bleed to death and give them more money to fix him), cough, dizziness, bruising; statins to lower his already within healthy levels of cholesterol down to a dangerously low level that will cause muscle loss, memory loss, kidney issues, extreme tiredness, etc.; blood pressure pill to cause extreme dizziness so he will fall and give them more money to fix his broken bones, etc., and other pills which are just as dangerous. They seemed upset because at 67 years old he was not already on a host of pills. They did their best they thought to remedy by forcing him to have a procedure of their choosing. Everyday he must live with feeling worse than he did before he had the surprise heart attack. He does not have a good day with their “cure”. Him feeling good was never their objective. Their sociopathic objective was control, power, and greed and to that end they were successful. Never mind how they actually injured him and me in the process. What was done was done in the name of medicine. And because of this, our only choice is to die younger than what we would have if this had not have happened. This is the real medical result of treatment. It will be our earlier than necessary deaths because of the abuses they have done and the total lack of trust and confidence in a medical system that is supposed to do no harm. I wonder what their definition of harm is? It probably is they can do whatever they want and the harm would only come if they are caught. They know that chance is slim as the government and lawyers are on their side because protecting them is where the money is. Common people, the patients, do not matter.

Medical Assault—The Gold Standard of Treatment

According to, medical battery (assault) is:

So how would a medical assault & battery happen?  Hospitals need to make money.  What brings them money are the procedures done in the hospital setting.  For instance, the flavor of the day is for treating heart attacks is stenting.  If you have a heart attack, you will be taken directly to the cardiac catheterization lab–you will not pass go & you will be billed (and/or your insurance company) hundreds of thousands dollars.  The cardiac catheterization lab is really big business for a hospital. 

So if you are sitting at home on a Saturday night and start having chest pain, you’ll most likely visit an ER.  First off, they encourage you to use an ambulance to arrive at the ER even though it may be quicker to actually have someone drive you there.  There is no money involved for them if you are driven there via private automobile.  Mostly likely you’ll have an EKG done as well as blood drawn.  They will give you aspirin, nitro, heparin, and painkillers as determined by them. 

In my husband’s case, the local hospital’s ER had to send him on because they were not a full service hospital.  They mentioned he would need more treatment than they could give.  They vaguely mentioned he may need clot busting drugs, cardiac catheterization, or open heart surgery.  I think the open heart surgery option was thrown in there just to scare us.  These were given as options.  We did not agree to anything nor did they say anything had been decided.  They gave us no details on any of the options they mentioned.   After they gave him nitro, aspirin, and morphine; he pain had subsided into being just a dull ache.

When the helicopter finally arrived for him, I left for the other hospital anticipating that once there were would discuss with the hospital his options.  That had been what we were lead to believe what would happen.  However, we had no idea they had other plans which they had planned and decided upon.  No one at any time told us the medical community’s “gold standard” of treatment for a STEMI (heart attack) is immediate Percanteous Coronary Intervention (PCI).  If we would have known, we would have not agreed until both of us had heard the full details of all treatment options.  They knew we expected to make the treatment decision to what they did next guaranteed them the ability to decide and carry out their selected plan.

On the helicopter service, unknown to my husband, the flight medics documented his pain level as an eight when in reality it was only a 1 or a dull ache.  Doing this provided cover for them to dose him with 100 mcg of fentanyl which basically rendered him incapable of normal functioning both physically and mentally.  They knew this because the first hospital also chose to omit his severe reactions to pain killers and benzos such as versed.  This was very negligent of them because some of the side effects would directly affect a man who was having a heart attack.  However, they knew with what they had planned, it was standard procedure but they didn’t want us to know and they certainly didn’t want documentation existing about what he had said.

Once at the other hospital, isolation was the name of the game.  They purposely kept me isolated from him, uninformed, and with a warden to guard me so they would be free to pursue their agenda.  They know that if they are able to keep people who are in a stressful situation isolated and uninformed they will be operate to succeed in accomplishing their agenda.  Their agenda was to make sure he had a PCI whether he wanted it or not because it is a huge money-making procedure.  Also, the staff had been called in so they needed to make sure they could cover that expense. 

The second case of medical assault was when my husband arrived at the 2nd hospital.  Knowing he was drugged, they were able to start readying him for the procedure they had chosen for him to have.  Although they knew he had been drugged incapable with 100 mcg of fentanyl, the 2nd hospital made no mention of this in any of their medical forms.  Absolutely none so this signals they knew he was incapable of any decision or even defending himself against what they had in store for him.  Immediately, without asking or giving him a chance, they stripped off his clothes.  They did not bother with the pretense of keeping his genital region covered as they were stripping him naked.  They knew he was drugged and would offer no resistance.  They gave him no gown or sheet.  They simply didn’t care about his personal dignity.  To them, he was something they could manipulate or humiliate at will.  They started with the conscious sedation evaluation.  They also inserted two more undocumented IVs into each bend of his elbow so that he had a total of four IVs for the entire stay.  They did not care even about his physical comfort.  They filled out the forms which he may or may not have answered as he was only capable of understanding simple questions and answered with yes or no as his thought and action process was severely impaired at this point.

My husband does remember this is what they did to him.  He said he felt disattached to his body as if he were watching a tv program unfolding in front of him.  He remembers hearing them say I was there but the people were at a distance from him in the cath lab room discussing it. They never approached him but he did hear them say they were sending a chaplain to me.  That really scared him for two reasons but he was too drugged to react.  The first reason being is he thought they were sending a chaplain because he was dying and not stable like the other hospital had said.  The second reason was he knew I would never want a chaplain involved but again, the drugs prevented him in taking action and they didn’t allow him input into his own life.  He remembers wondering why I wasn’t in there to see him and why they were not having me there with him to discuss what his options of treatment were.  He said he just kept waiting for that to happen as he laid there totally naked in a room of at least 4 women and others.  Being drugged, he had no concept of time and really what they were doing.  He thought they were doing tests but had no idea they were really doing the procedure they had in their godlike, tyrannical manner chosen for him. 

He did not know until I told him the next day that he had a procedure done.  We then were able to conclude it had been done against his will because neither of us had consented to it.  He was drugged and unable to give legal consent.  I was not advised of the procedure until it was completed as the warden was very vague and would walk away when the cath lab called.  He did, however, think the public in the hallway should have updates because he had his phone on speakerphone.  I was the only one who was not allowed to hear about my husband’s procedure as it was happening.

Some might argue this was an emergency situation.  While it was an unexpected heart attack, my husband was not unconscious and had made known what he wanted.  He was also stable until they were into the procedure and the stress of him being scared, humiliated about being put naked on display resulting in being extremely cold as the cath lab room is kept very cold, alone wondering why I wasn’t with him, the drugs which he said would cause severe side effects did indeed cause his blood pressure to drop, or the procedure itself caused his pressure to drop low one time.  Instead of labeling it as a vasovagal reaction they chose to cover themselves by labeling it as cardiogenic shock even though it did not fit the definition.  They chose to drug him so they could disregard his decisions.  Even though he had family present (me) that could have made a decision, they kept me isolated from him and uninformed so they could accomplish their medical assault.   He did not sign informed consent nor does he even remember it being discussed with him.  They said he, being deeply drugged, gave them verbal consent.  However, it is not legally binding as he was incapable of making a rational decision as he was drugged with fentanyl and probably already pre-sedated with additional fentanyl and versed.  They discovered there was no consent on file moments before they actually started the procedure so it is very questionable about whether they had him sedated or not.  They may only make a decision if the patient is unconscious and no family can be contacted.  This was not the case.  I was there and he was incapable because of being drugged prior to arrival and perhaps even before the consent was signed by them. 

The fact is he would not have chosen this treatment.  He would not have wanted to have metal stents in him.  Because of the stenting, the arteries will be forever receiving a signal they need to send plaque to the beginning of the stent to heal.  This will cause plaque deposits to form and along with platelet buildup.  Of course, knowing that stenting causes the very issue that caused the heart attack in the first place, they have prescription medicines to partially relieve the symptoms.  Not only will aspirin be needed but medicines like Brilanta will be needed to thin the blood so platelets won’t stick to the plaque as easily but you will be more likely to bleed to death and be one big walking bruise.  But that is okay because that keeps their hospital social workers employeed so they can while you are naked they can ask you if you are a victim of spousal abuse.  Hospital workers seem to enjoy having their patients naked while they are caring for them because it makes the staff feel superior and the patients are intimidated and are more likely to be submissive and complacent.  Statins like Crestor will be needed to reduce cholesterol down to non-existent levels even this too is dangerous to everyday functions like memory, damage muscles (don’t forget your heart is a muscle too), and help cause kidney failure.  But never fear, there are more procedures and pills for any side effects.  For those side effects, there are more procedure and pills and so on and so forth.  You will be a continuous source of control and money until you die but the medical community would grieve as there will be someone else to take your place on the conveyor belt of medical treatment.  He would have opted for clot busting drugs first.  However, at the time, we did not know what our options were as no one really discussed it with us.  We now know after the fact.  But it is too late.  He forever must live with the consequence of their medical assault.  There is never a moment in any day he is not reminded of being a victim of medical assault.   He had things done to his body against his will and, furthermore; was condemned to watch as if he was only a spectator who was watching a horror movie about mad scientists performing experiments on innocent victims only he was the victim. 

It is beyond scary the power and control a hospital or medical staff have.  What is even scarier is they will use their power and control because of their greed or the need to do procedures to make money.  Even though we were lead to believe he would be able to direct his treatment choice once he was at the other hospital, all the hospital staff involved knew otherwise.  They manipulated us into letting us think we would be informed about the treatment options and would be the ones deciding.  That was never to be.  Think this cannot happen to you.  You would be wrong–medical assault is the gold standard of treatment.

My View on the Opiate Crisis

I have been watching some of the coverage about the opiate crisis here in the US on tv. It seems big pharma has been thrown under the bus but the bus needs to back up and run over all those involved in creating this crisis. The average person does not go directly to big pharma to get their drugs. There is a middleman who is just as culpable as big pharma. In fact, without this middleman, the average citizen would not be able to get prescription opiates.

To be clear, opiates have been around forever. Morphine is an opiate. Morphine has been used as a heavy hitter for pain relief forever. When I had my c-sections, they had me hooked up to a morphine pump. I did not ask for it. I used it because they had already given it to me but soon I realized I did not need it. The second C-section, I used did not use it. I did not see big pharma at my bedside giving me morphine but it was prescribed by my doctor. Doctors are the middle men who are actually the drug pushers. For pushing certain drugs, there are also rewards doctors/hospitals receive from big pharma.

Big pharma visits doctor’s offices or hospitals bringing not only their drug literature but also free samples to get patients to take their drug, free lunches or dinners for the staff, vacations/conferences, and contests for prescribing the most. In other words, they give bribes and these bribes are readily accepted. The only ones not receiving much in the way of bribes are the patients themselves. A free sample or two is not much. It is the doctor who usually decides what brand of drug you will take because it is usually based upon what sales pitch is the strongest or in other words, which bribe is the most lucrative.

Pain relief is a big business at least here in the United States. You can walk into any store which sells over-the-counter medicines and various pain relieving compounds will take up one complete aisle. Unknown to many, these over-the-counter pain reliefs are not safe for us to take as often as is done. But that is okay as the medical community is standing by to offer their “cures” and to assist us in becoming a permanent passenger on the continuous roller coaster ride of healthcare treatment procedures. They know once you embark upon that journey, you will be a source of continued revenue.

Pain relief not needing a prescription is big business. Unfortunately, the medical community and big pharma also know that and have fine tuned their radar to profit from that information. From the moment you encounter any medical personnel from a EMT, a medical assistant, a tech, a nurse, or a doctor who are asked repeatedly about pain. They even use what they consider a universal pain rating scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the worse pain ever. If you have pain or they suspect you have pain and may not be admitting to it, you can expect to get “a little something to ease the pain.” This is the middleman at work. This is not to say there is not a need for pain relief but it is overused. The medical community seems to think that giving pain relief is the most important aspect in medical care. But who is most important to–the patient or the medical staff?

Going back to the experience my husband had is a good example of how pain relief can be misused. But who was it misused by? My husband had a heart attack. He was in pain. When I took him to the hospital, he was asked what his pain level was. I had given him a couple of aspirins and put muscle rub on him to help w/ the muscle spasms. He told them his pain level was around a 7 at home but upon arriving at the hospital it was around a 6. They said they would give him something for the pain. He told them he was very leery of pain killers and refused versed/benzos. as he was extremely sensitive to their side effects. The negative side effects included but not limited to raising/lowering his blood pressure, decreasing/increasing his breathing rate, nausea, prolonged impaired functioning abilities both mentally and physically to the point where he was basically in state of inaction, lethargy, tiredness, etc. as well as having prolonged effects lasting much longer than average. Versed/benzo. has made him loose memory from events not associated w/ the versed administered period and also has permanently altered his sleep patterns. They said they could give him a small dose of morphine. They also said nitro would help with the pain too. He looked at me and I told him he should take the morphine for the pain. However, we didn’t know they decided to give him 4mg of morphine which is more than what he should have had. We also did not know that for whatever reasons this hospital chose not to record what he had said about the negative efforts pain killers and versed/benzos have on him. Once he was given the morphine and nitro, his pain level was “a 1 or a dull ache” as he told them when asked. The ER doctor made note of this. As we were sitting there for the long wait for the “quickest” (it was not the quickest as a local EMT service should have been called for ground transport but the “quickest” was their service and the most expensive means) transport by helicopter, I could tell he was not in pain. He was very subdued and deep in thought as I was. When the helicopter crew arrived (let me interject this about the helicopter team–there were 3 of them who entered the ER bay–a nurse, an EMT, and the pilot. I can see the nurse and EMT but the pilot is unnecessary and he should not be privy to the patient’s personal health information as he is not medically involved but rather the driver of the vehicle), as I was sitting there, one of them asked him what his pain level was as don’t forget pain relief is the most important thing. My husband replied it was “a 1 or just a dull ache.” According to the medical records, it was recorded as an 8. For that to be true, he would have been on the floor rolling screaming in pain like I found him at home. He was not. Again, he was very subdued, breathing w/ effort like he had been for the past few months as he had been diagnosed incorrectly (now we know this) with bronchitis. He was not in pain. Once loaded into the helicopter they gave him noise reduction headphones to wear and he said they never asked him again about pain as he could not hear anything but the noise from the helicopter as it was so loud. However, they documented 2 more times his pain level was an 8. Again, he was calmly lying on the stretcher and not screaming and rolling on the floor in pain. Unknown to him and certainly without his consent, the helicopter medics gave him 100 mcg of fentanyl. The administering of the this excessive amount of fentanyl for someone who is extremely sensitive to the reactions of this type of drug is negligent and put him on the course for his abusive hospitalization experience.

Why was this done? Why did they falsify the records? Why do they so freely give opiates such as fentanyl? My husband did not want or need the fentanyl but they gave it to him without his consent or knowledge. It is clear why he was given fentanyl. He had not consented for the procedure the hospital wanted him to have. He wanted more information and for me to be involved when he arrived at the second hospital. They did not want this to happen so they chose to drug him to make him compliant and submissive as this is what fentanyl did. He actually told them it would severely impair his functioning abilities so they did it on purpose. He was isolated from me and I could not question what they were doing. They were able to do it without him knowing it. He thought he was loosing his mind because he had no clue as to why he was feeling like he was a spectator who was detached from what was happening and did not have the ability to call “cut” or stop the action. Drugs like fentanyl and versed are used to control. It makes their jobs easier because the patient does not interfere with what they plan to do.

As he made compliant by the helicopter crew to have a procedure he did not want or consent to, the cardiac cath lab personnel was there to give him versed and more fentanyl. Although he had personally had enough fentanyl to bring down an elephant, the cath lab needed to justify the administering of more drugs so they said he was in pain. He said he was not in pain. The result was life threatening as his blood pressure plummeted. But that was okay because they got to give him other drugs to fix that. Never mind, they also almost killed him by their negligence. They also labelled this crime as cardiogenic shock rather than negligence of giving him drugs that he had told them would have adverse effects. He was a man who was having a heart attack which destabilizes blood pressure giving him drugs he had told them would also destabilize his blood pressure (they also know that fentanyl and especially with the combination of versed has the possibility of doing this too) along with nitro which decreases blood pressure in addition to having right and left side involvement. They set a course to kill him but luckily didn’t succeed. For those interested, the use of versed and fentanyl is called conscious sedation. Versed is used primarily to erase memories, to make you submissive, and to encourage uninhibitiveness (which is another way of saying that when they have you naked for no reason, you will do nothing about it). Fentanyl does reduce pain but the cath is not painful but rather uncomfortable at the most for selected periods of time. It is not something the average person could not tolerable but the US medical community likes for their patients to be drugged so the medical staff has freedom to act however they choose and you won’t interfere or remember. An interesting fact is that in Europe, they generally use no type of painkiller or sedative for angiograms/angioplasty.

What the above story demonstrates is the lengths medical staff will go to give opiates. They are indeed the drug pushers. Big pharma might be the drug lords but the medical community certainly are the street level drug dealers. They are the ones who connect the average person to the drugs which eventually the addicted person will get any way they can. They do not care about the consequences they have caused. In fact, they have found a new way to profit from the opiate crisis they helped to created. They will now treat the addiction they caused. Of course, this treatment is a very lucrative revenue stream which is the reason there is an opiate crisis. Everything is about money, power, and control. Big pharma should not be the only ones paying the price for the opiate crisis. The doctors, hospitals, and nurses knew these drugs are addictive and were being over prescribed. Big pharma did not administer the drugs nor did they prescribe them. The drug dealers did that. Most addicts became addicted to these drugs through a medical encounter. It is time for the blame for this crisis to be shared by those actually pushing the drugs. In my husband’s case, those involved in forcing those drugs into his body should go to jail to serve time for physically shooting him up with opiates he did not want or consent to having. Is this the type of medical treatment we should have in the United States where medical providers can inject you with drugs against your will and then stand by as if they are innocent in the carnage they have helped to create?

Why Patient Dignity Is Not a Concern

What is patient dignity?  According to on nursing ethics and ethical issues in caring, it is a basic human right for all and fundamental to the well-being of every individual in all societies.  This article states that “dignity is fundamental to the well-being of every individual in all societies.  It is a basic human right for all….The concept of dignity has four defining attributes including respect, autonomy, empowerment, and communication.”  This article cites an analysis done by Griffin and Vanessa that “each of the four attributes consists of several dimensions:  Respect includes self-respect, respect for others, respect for peoples’ privacy, confidentiality and self-belief and belief in others.  Autonomy includes having choice, giving choice, making decisions, being able to make decisions, competence, rights, needs, and independence.  Empowerment includes a feeling of being important and valuable, self-esteem, self-worth, modesty, and pride.  Communication might be verbal or nonverbal and also includes explaining and understanding information, feeling comfort and giving time to the audience.   What is patient dignity?  According to on nursing ethics and ethical issues in caring, it is a basic human right for all and fundamental to the well-being of every individual in all societies.  This article states that “dignity is fundamental to the well-being of every individual in all societies.  It is a basic human right for all….The concept of dignity has four defining attributes including respect, autonomy, empowerment, and communication.”  This article cites an analysis done by Griffin and Vanessa that “each of the four attributes consists of several dimensions:  Respect includes self-respect, respect for others, respect for peoples’ privacy, confidentiality and self-belief and belief in others.  Autonomy includes having choice, giving choice, making decisions, being able to make decisions, competence, rights, needs, and independence.  Empowerment includes a feeling of being important and valuable, self-esteem, self-worth, modesty, and pride.  Communication might be verbal or nonverbal and also includes explaining and understanding information, feeling comfort and giving time to the audience.  

 At, the Ministry of Health and Medical Education- Patient’s rights 2002 goes on to say that, “Observing dignity and privacy is essential for establishing an effective relationship between the healthcare professionals and patients. It also is critical for maintaining patient’s serenity. In contrast, many harmful consequences would ensue if the patients’ dignity is not observed….”  7. Nayeri ND, Aghajani M. Patients’ privacy and satisfaction in the emergency department: a descriptive analytical study. Nurse Ethics went on to say that “Failure to comply the patients’ privacy (as a measure of dignity) may not only make the patients to conceal some aspects of their medical history, or refuse medical examination, but also would increase their level of anxiety and stress…”

The above would also apply to anyone involved in patient care whether they are a doctor, nurse, tech, emt, etc.

Most hospitals have a Patient Bill of Rights that guarantee without any exclusions to having to personal privacy, to exercise your rights while receiving care or treatment without coercion, to participate in the development and implementation of your plan of care, to be free from all forms of abuse or harassment, to expect visitation privileges not be restricted, limited, or otherwise denied…., to expect all visitors will enjoy full and equal visitation privileges…, to be free from physical or mental abuse…., and to expect that restraint or seclusion may only be imposed to ensure immediate physical safety of the patient….This is part of the Patient Bill of Rights from a Patient & Visitor Information Book of Franciscan Health Indianapolis and Mooresville.  There are also federal guidelines that mandate Patient Bill of Rights. ��

According to a Gallup poll ( in 2018 covering professional honesty and ethics, nursing again was number one.  Nurses rate higher than doctors, military, and clergy.  Why is this?  Could it be the public is not really aware of everything nurses may do or could it be the public is turning a blind eye?  After a recent hospitalization where some of the nursing staff were absolutely sexually abusive and violated most above noted items in the Patient Bill of Rights, I decided that information needs to be made public.

According to According to, more than 90% of nurses are female.   That means that if you are a male patient, most likely you will encounter a female nurse for intimate care.  If you are a male that wants only same gender care which you are entitled to have, it will probably not happen.  If you are a female patient, chances are your intimate care will be performed by a female nurse.  It is practically unheard of for a male nurse to provide intimate care for a female patient, especially if he is alone with her or if she is drugged.  For male patients, it is very common for this situation to happen.

Doctors only see patients for a fraction of the time that a nurse may spend with patient care duties.  During procedures, it is generally the nurse and/or techs that prep patients.  It is unheard of for a drugged female to be left alone with 4 male nurses/techs while prepping her exposed genital area.  However, it is standard practice for female nurses/techs to prep the genital area of a drugged male patient.  Are female nurses more trustworthy than male nurses/techs?  Do female nurses not exhibit any sexual feelings/desires  while all male nurses are viewed as being untrustworthy because they cannot separate their own sexual desires when left alone with an exposed, drugged female?  It is said that medical people view all genitals as just being another body part but is that really true?  There are plenty of cases in the newspapers and on the Internet saying otherwise.  Why is there greater care given to guarding the personal dignity of a female patient in general than that of a male?  What are some of the issues that may constitute sexual abuse?

The biggest area that constitutes sexual abuse is the unnecessary exposure of the genital region.  This may be done by a nurse/tech while prepping a patient for a procedure.  This may be done in an emergency room when they strip off the clothes of a patient while not covering them first with a gown, blanket, and/or drawing a curtain.  This may be done by a nurse in a patient room while performing an intimate task for a patient or examining an area close to the genital region.  Many nurses feel pushed for time so taking the extra second to provide patient dignity as they swore to in their nursing oath is not a priority for them.  However, for many patients they feel dehumanized by this type of action.  Although this dehumanization of a patient may not always be done as intentional act of harm, sometimes it is.  In any case, it is harmful to the mental well-being of the patient.

In a cardiac catheterization lab setting, many of the pieces of fluff literature says patient personal dignity is maintained at all times.  But what happens when it isn’t?  Most cath labs give a misleading cocktail of sedatives describing them as having the patient awake during the procedure.  The cocktail usually given is a combination of versed and fentanyl.  Versed is a drug that is supposedly used for anti-anxiety purposes but its real purpose in a medical procedure is it causes amnesia.  That is its main benefit to the medical people.  Fentanyl is painkiller which is 100 times stronger than morphine.  Most patients will be in a light sleep pattern and will be arouseable by verbal or touch stimulation.  Versed also makes patients less inhibited while fentanyl makes them generally more compliant or submissive. 

What this cocktail in fact does is gives the prep team the ability to perform the prep in a manner in which they choose.  Some may choose to maintain patient dignity while others may strip a patient’s clothes off of them and leave them exposed without a gown or blanket for the entire time up to draping.  Leaving a patient exposed makes their prep work easier.  However, there is generally no reason for the lower genital region to be exposed as they can use a medical garment called Covr which will cover the genital region while allowing them to do the femoral prep.  For females, to cover the nipple area , falsies could be used.  The female patient could apply those herself.  However, it is the sad fact that medical people on a whole do not care about the dignity of their patients.  This is why such sexually abusive behavior as the exposure of patients is allowed to continue.  They only care if it were them or their loved one.

As we age, the side effects of the drugs may become more pronounced and lingering.  It may take many hours, days, or sometimes not all the effects go away.  Patients being transferred from the cath lab to the Cardiac CCU may still not be able to defend themselves against sexual abuse.  Surgery patients also may not be able to defend themselves from sexual abuse.  Nurses in these areas know and can recognize the signs of altered levels of response from patients.  Some will take advantage of this. 

Many times during transfer, patients are exposed unnecessarily as keeping the patient’s dignity intact is not a priority.  Oftentimes, a gown may just be thrown on them from the procedure area.  This gown may fall off during the transfer from the gurney to the bed.  Not only is the patient exposed to those in the room but many times to people in the hallway.  If a patient needs a gown and bed linen change, this is usually done without regard to patient dignity.  In the cardiac ccu if the patient needs to remain flat, they will strip off the gown and blankets.  They will wash the patient and change the bedding all the while the patient will remain naked and uncovered while the nurse is turning the naked patient from side to side to change the bedding.  Eventually, she will re-gown the patient and cover the patient with a blanket.  However, the patient will most likely be exposed unnecessarily as the nurse does not care about the patient’s dignity.  The patient is exposed to everyone coming into the room and to people in the hallway. 

Patients may be exposed to registration clerks, phlebotomists, clergy, social workers, housekeeping, etc.  There is an attitude by medical staff that patient dignity is not a concern especially if the patient is drugged.  If a patient is drugged, the nurse figures they will not remember how they are treated.  Since many are drugged during the time when the exposure occurs, this may be why nursing is the most trusted profession.  There is a different attitude towards patients who are able to defend themselves against this type of abuse.  Nurses in units not dealing with patients who have been given mind altering medications tend to be more mindful about personal dignity issues. 

For those patients who have suffered sexual abuse at the hands of medical staff, the memory never fades and the trust is forever broken.  Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a common side effect from such abuse.  PTSD occurs more in patients who have been in a critical care unit.  Although the abuse that drug patients can remember is bad, it is often the abuse they do not remember as they were drugged that is really frightening.  There is always the thought of this is only what I remember so what else did they do to me that I don’t remember?  The exposure, the comments, the photos on a Smartphone, the being put on display to show others, who saw me, why did they do this to me—these are all questions a sexually abused patient will forever have on their mind.  A sexually abused will never trust any medical provider again as they now question their own ability of judgment as they never expected to be abused by the very people who were supposed to care and protect them when they were ill and vulnerable.  It may cause them to no longer seek medical care or hospitalization especially if a loss of control is involved.  It is beyond sad and sick when medical people abuse those who need care and are in an extremely vulnerable state.

Every patient needs an advocate to look out for them.  This advocate should not be an employee of a hospital as they are only going to protect the hospital.  An advocate is especially needed if there are drugs like versed, fentanyl, or any other drugs that alter mental capability involved.  Don’t allow yourself or your loved ones to become a victim of a personal dignity crime.  Take it from me, the pit in your throat and stomach along with the pressure lying on your chest never goes away.  The suffering for letting the abuse happen to them and seeing what damage it does to them forevermore will never go away or get any better.  The months since the medical and sexual assault have only grown worse for him.  He spends more and more sleepless nights thinking about what they did and what abuse might come if he would be hospitalized again.  Is this the kind of result modern medicine is so proud of?

What Caused and Is the Effect of Our PTSD

What does Post-Traumatic (Hospitalization) Stress Disorder (PTSD) feel like?  It feels like helplessness, hopelessness, rage, and guilt.  To be victimized by people that were supposed to be compassionate, caring, trustworthy, skilled, and etc. is devastating beyond any words or imagination.  If a total stranger were to victimize me or my husband, we would have an easier time reconciling their actions.  But to be victimized by medical people during one of times of greatest time of pain and suffering, the results are just devastating.  How could be people who are being paid to help commit such atrocities? 

My husband keeps it in a little too much as he does not want to burden me with his suffering.  Sometimes, though, he breaks down.  It is heartbreaking to hear him tell his story.  He feels very guilty that he had the heart attack which is what lead to the abuse.   He didn’t know that at the time he was suffering abuse that I too was suffering abuse in another form.  He has said that he wished the heart attack had killed him outright at home so all of this hospital abuse could have been avoided and I wouldn’t had to suffer their abuse.   He has said if he had only known.

It is not that either of us has not been in the hospital before as we have been.  He is a prostate cancer survivor so he has had intimate care level before given by female nurses/techs.  He has had an operation to which he fully gave consent to and the needed care afterwards.  The hospital he was at allowed me to be present during his pre-op, PACU, and transfer to his patient room procedure.  They made it clear they welcomed me to spend the night with him.  In fact, they encouraged it and made me feel welcomed.   When I was hospitalized, my husband was present.  He spent the night as they told him he was welcomed.  Both of us have had care by opposite sex caregivers who have acted appropriately and with compassion.  Both of us have had procedures done in the past with actual informed consent being given. 

How the care is delivered is the defining difference.  At the college hospital, we thought his care was being delivered in a compassionate and trustworthy manner.  We thought they were writing down his issues with painkillers and his instructions about having no Versed or benzos.  We didn’t know they were, in fact, ignoring very crucial information as to the negative side effects these medicines cause especially given that at that time, he had just had a heart attack.  We never dreamed their desire for him to have these medicines would overwhelm the need not to put him in a direr medical situation.  It never entered our minds they would ignore a man who had just had a heart attack who told them that painkillers and especially Versed/benzos cause his blood pressure to raise/lower, his breathing to decrease/increase, to fully incapacitate him, make him nausea, and cause him to remain in that state for an extended period of time.  We thought having a heart attack would make them proceed with extreme caution in giving him drugs which could make his condition deteriorate.   We did not know that the medical air ambulance would commit assault and battery on him to drug him with fentanyl when he was not actually in pain and did not consent to fentanyl.  We did not even consider that any of these medical “professionals” would lie or omit items to cover their asses.  We had put our trust in them and they failed us as we later found out. 

At Rancidcan, we did not know he would arrive having been assaulted by the air ambulance team in a drugged manner.  We did not know that I would not be allowed to see him or be part of the medical decision making effort.  We did not know that he would not be allowed to be part of the medical decision making effort.  We did not know that one or both of the medical entities had already made decisions as to what was going to happen to him.  We did not know that College Hospital had sent papers to Rancidcan , a Catholic hospital on record opposing LGBT issues, stating my husband had a husband—me his totally female wife of over 30 years.  We did not know that because of the fentanyl, my husband would be rendered incapable to defend himself against what was about to happen. 

Although all medical records state my husband was alert to person, place, and event he does not remember them ever talking to him about what they were going to do.  If they asked him he knew why he was there, he would have responded with a yes as he thought he was there for them to go over what College Hospital had done and maybe do a more thorough evaluation.  He never dreamed that he was there to have an invasive procedure done with any consultation with him or me.  We both thought they were going to explain his options of what they could do and we together, he and I, would decide.   Informed Consent cannot be given when a person is naked; lying on the table where the procedure is performed while they are being prepped for the procedure, and/or when drugged (4mg morphine and 100mcg fentanyl).  That is called being coerced.  Informed Consent was not given as neither of us remembers it being done at either hospital.  They, in fact, knew it had not been done.  They entered into their computer system as being done but 5 minutes later 2 of the cath. lab nurses signed it saying he had given verbal consent.  He disagrees.  In any case, consent cannot be coerced but in this case, they did not give it as there are many points he would have disagreed with if consent had been verbally explained not mention he would not have agreed to have something as major as this done without talking with me.  He would have never agreed to pictures being taken during any procedure, he wouldn’t have agreed to spectators, students, sales representatives being present, he wouldn’t have agreed to versed or any memory altering drug, he wouldn’t have agreed for his information to be used other than for purposes dictated by government or insurance, and he would have questioned the risks, radiation and side effects.  These are the standard things he would have had issues with and would have challenged.  However, they are no challenges to these items listed on the consent form they signed.  Furthermore, due to the drugs, he was not legally capable of giving consent.  Ethically, he was not able to give consent.  Physically and mentality, he was incapable of giving consent due to the drugs.  There is no way they could have gone through the 3-page consent form and a severely drugged man have understood it.  There is no way they could have given him all the risks and rx medication risks like they stated.  There wasn’t time and he even so, he wouldn’t agreed.  They lied about consent to force him to have a procedure which is a complete money making venture to them to around the tune of $300,000.  It is no wonder they lie/coerce having such a large financial incentive–easy victim, easy money.  The ethical aspect of medical people going rogue and abusive is simply mind-blowing. 

He feels violated beyond imagination they performed a procedure on him that he did not want even to this day.  The consequences of this procedure are devastating.  He now has to live with two foreign pieces of mental in him that continuously remind him and me of what they done.  These stents also cause permanent damage to his arteries by making them constantly sending plaque to the area to heal where the metal is chafing the artery.  That is why he must forever take medicine because this is a forever side effect.  Eventually, the plaque will build up there again.  The medicine also has unacceptable side effects.  The cure was not a cure but actually give him additional conditions which are just as bad as the original heart attack.

Although we both feel guilty and victimized by putting our trust in College Hospital and the air ambulance service, what follows is where the majority of our issues arise.  Having said this, if the air ambulance had not committed assault and battery on him by giving him the fentanyl, he would have been capable of defending himself and making sure that things did not happen as they actually did.  By giving him fentanyl, they in essence, made him trapped inside of his mind thus allowing Rancidcan the freedom to abuse and violate.  How he felt after the fentanyl is similar to what a stroke victim may feel as they are aware of what is going on but unable to verbalize or turn their thoughts into actions.  He was also horrified, scared, humiliated, and alone.  He felt as if he didn’t matter or have any say.  He felt powerless.  They made him feel like he was nothing—didn’t matter—an object.  The heart attack was scary but he thought he was going to okay and he had dealt with cancer in the past so he knew he could deal with a heart attack.  He wasn’t prepared to deal with the standard of care.

My guilt comes from knowing that he was stripped naked by 4 females in a room full of others such as the air ambulance people, registry clerk, and whoever else was present.  This was done against his will and without permission.  Because of what they done and how they did it, they demonstrated they had no respect for my husband as a human who had a life.  They cared nothing that in their disrespect and disregard of his basic right to freedom of choice and dignity, they have endangered his overall health.  They cared nothing about making sure what they did caused no future harm.  They probably never have considered their actions to be as harmful as physically harming a person.  Because of their actions, he lives everyday with the stress of their actions deeply stamped in his mind.  His dealings with all medical providers are now stressful and he distrusts them immensely.  The literature they give to heart attack survivors is to make their lives stress free but that is now impossible because medical people add nothing but stress to his life not to mention for me too. 

He remembers feeling horrified that they stripped him without his permission and left him naked without a gown or blanket.  They acted as though he was not human.  They wadded his clothes into a pink haz-mat bag for some strange reason as they were not soiled.  They treated his clothes as trash just as they treated him as trash—not worth common using common respect or protecting his dignity.  Not worth letting him decide his treatment but rather a chance to make money and for them to be totally in control over a man.  It must have really have given them a thrill to abuse an older, critically male.  They probably do this as payback for the bad attitudes of the male doctors.  It must make them feel better to abuse defenseless males.  He doesn’t remember any of those cold-hearted women speaking to him in a reassuring manner.  He remembers wanting to be covered up and also being cold and scared.  He didn’t know what they were doing and why he needed to be naked.  It was his chest where his heart is—it is not in his genital region.  He remembers them shaving him although he is not hairy and they didn’t say why it was being done as he remembers wondering why they were shaving him.  He remembers hearing them talking and laughing amongst themselves but no one communicated to him.  He remembers hearing them talk about sending a chaplain to me.  He remembers thinking is he that bad or is he in the process of dying and please do not send a chaplain to me but they had rendered him incapable of vocalizing his thoughts.  The fentanyl left him able to respond to their questions but unable to vocalize his own thoughts.  He remembers them inserting 2 more IVs into him even though he already had 2 in him from College Hospital that were still working when he arrived at Rancidcan.  (They make no note of adding these 2 IVs.)  He remembers how cold the room was as he was lying there totally exposed.  He felt violated.  He felt they did not respect his right to personal dignity.  He just wanted it to end.  He said he remembers wanting to see me so he would know everything would be okay.  He wondered if I had agreed to something he didn’t know about and if what was happening to him was the result.  He wondered what they were doing to him.  He wanted me to protect him from them and he wondered why I hadn’t come in to see him.

He remembers seeing all the equipment and wondering what it is all for and what are they going to do with him as he hadn’t talked to me yet so we could decide.  He remembers them finally putting the drapes over him.  He remembers seeing things on the monitors.  He remembers being told he is going to feel pressure.  He remembers the pressure actually felt as if he had been ran over by a semi and it was sitting on him.   He remembers hearing them talk and laugh during whatever they were doing to him.  He remembers being scared that he didn’t know what was happening and that nobody seemed to care.  He remembers being very cold.  He remembers the coldness eventually made him start shivering/trembling uncontrollably.  He remembers being scared and feeling alone. 

He remembers after whatever they were doing to him that he was still laying on the table that they air ambulance personnel had placed him on.  He remembers having the drapes removed and once again he was laying there naked, exposed, and cold.  (Nakedness is a method of torture used to humiliate and control prisoners.)  He remembers a female voice telling him they were going to suture and it would hurt.  He said he briefly wondered what they needed to suture before he felt the extreme, horrible pain of the suturing (which upon reading his medical records, we found they had chosen not to use any numbing agent).  He received suturing in 3 different areas.  He wondered why they wanted to hurt him so badly.  He said he wanted to leave and see me.  He just wanted them to leave him alone.  He wanted to be covered up and not be exposed.  But this was not the end to the abuse/torture he would have to suffer at the hands of a religious hospital’s employees.

To add to his and my misery, pain, and guilt—I was being put through my own form of torture.  Even though I arrived at Rancidcan before they started their procedure on him, they did not consult with me.  In fact, after I asked for him at the ER desk, I was made to wait an extremely long take before they would acknowledge he was even at the hospital.  They made me believe he had died.  They said they couldn’t find record of him being admitted.  Probably because he was being processed at that time I was inquiring about him.  They told me to stand aside to an area about 10 feet away for the desk.  Eventually about much whispering another person arrived at the desk and after more whispering, one of the women yelled over to the area where my son and I were standing that “a chaplain would come and take us to where he was.”  Everyone in the ER waiting got silent and just looked at us.  I know they too thought whoever we were there for had died.  We were in shock.  When he had left with the air ambulance, he had been stabilized and was in no pain.  How could he have died?  I was in complete and utter shock—numbed.  After waiting about another 15 minutes, a sober looking man in a brown suit arrived.  As we were walking away from that area of onlookers, I asked the chaplain where he was taking us.  He said to the cath lab waiting room.  That made sense as College Hospital said that might be one of the possibilities that we would need to consider.  It didn’t occur to me that he might be already having a procedure as I knew that he would want to discuss it with me before he would agree to anything.  That is the way our marriage works.    Once we got back there, the chaplain sat down next to our son.  I could see that having the chaplain there agitated my son and it did me too as we could not talk to each other.  I wanted to talk to my son before I would be called back to consult with my husband as to what his best course of treatment would be.  I eventually told the chaplain very politely that we didn’t need him to stay.  He said it was his job.  I again told him we didn’t need him to stay.  He refused to leave.  I was upset but I could see my son was really upset so I decided not to make a scene with the chaplain as it would not have went well.  I was puzzled by why it was taking so long to see my husband but I didn’t want the chaplain involved in our business as he was an unwanted presence.  Another form of recognized torture is making the family wait for long periods without any information.

Eventually, his device sounded.  He answered it, got up, put it on speaker phone, and walked into a public hallway.  As he was walking away, I could hear the person at the other end of the line (I assume the cath lab) asking him if he was with the family of First Last Name.  They then proceeded into a conversation with him that took a few minutes.  After talking with whomever, he came back and said my husband was still back in the cath lab.  This scenario happened again and it played out the same way.  The third time it happened, he said he would take us to talk with the doctor.  Finally, I thought.

As we were entering the doctor consultation room, I turned to the chaplain (thinking finally I could be rid of him), that I did not want him in the room and he should leave.  Again, he refused and entered the room to hear even more of my husband’s private, personal health information that we did think he had any right to and did not want privy to having.  He just sat there while the doctor was talking.  I was so angry that I was numb.  I couldn’t imagine why we were being punished by that man’s presence. 

The doctor finally entered.  I don’t know if his behavior was due to his background but he certainly was rude and acted as if he didn’t want to be bothered with giving this interview with a woman.  In fact, he said he was tired and since it was a Saturday night, he would have rather been home.  He went to say that he had done a procedure on my husband.  I was floored.  He said he had put 2 stents in him and that he had cardiogenic shock and was critically ill.  (Actually what this doctor stated was cardiogenic shock does not meet the definition of cardiogenic but rather it fits into what we stated would happen when he takes painkillers or versed.  By the time he had this shock, he had received 4 mg morphine, 175 mcg of fentanyl and 2 mg of versed.  It was a wonder he was still breathing.  They could have killed him with their reckless and negligence.)  He then said he had a video to show but was unable to work the computer.  I was hoping his lack of technical skill wasn’t also reflected in the procedure he had just done on my husband.    He said he was tired and did I really need to see the video and did I have any questions.   Since the intruder was present, the doctor was rude and uncaring, and since I was numbed to my very core, I simply said no.  What in the world was going on?   Had my husband given his consent and why?  That was totally out of character for him.  The intruder then said they would be wheeling my husband out so we could look at him before they took him to a room.

About 10 minutes later, two women came out with him on a gurney.  At first look, I could tell my husband was heavily drugged.  Normally, he would have reached for my hand.  He did not.  The thing that I remember most about this parading of the prisoner routine that most captors do is the expression on the faces of these two women.  The shorter, fatter one had an expression of contempt, of hatefulness, and general bad will that completely took me aback.  (I have since done some investigative work and her social media page shows a picture of a woman that looks like a streetwalker out of a 70’2 movie with the grotesque make-up.  She is truly a scary looking creature for someone to see while they are completely vulnerable and under her control.)With her hostile look, I didn’t dare look at the other as intently but I could see her mean expression.  I just felt like collapsing and crying on the floor.  All I could think about was my poor husband having to have them to care for him.  It was no wonder he felt so scared.  Having to look at them would have scared me too. I felt so upset and powerless.  They stood there talking to themselves while the intruder hung at our side.  I could tell they had thrown a gown on my husband as it was not really on him.  He barely acknowledged our presence.  I really dislike this parading of the prisoner by the captives so this encounter as it was not private only lasted a couple of seconds.  This ritual is barbaric as is when the doctor comes down off of his throne to talk to the poor peasant.  How thrilled we should be to have him grace us with his godlike attitude like he performs some miracle instead of merely doing a job he is being paid to do.  They are not miracle workers nor do they really care at least not in this case.  Rather I think they would have been happier if he had died before he was able to disrupt their Saturday night.  At least, this is the impression those cold-hearted B_tches and that B_stard gave.  The doctor gave a semi apology for any harm he and the cath lab heifers may have done but we do not accept his apology as the harm has been done and words mean nothing.  Their actions, on the other hand, have made a lasting impression.

The intruder told us he would lead us to the waiting room upstairs as neither my son nor I apparently had enough education to read signs and find our way there.  Once there, the intruder said he was leaving for a while but would return.  He never did.  He said before he left that it would take less than 30 minutes for the secret ceremony that happens when captors settle prisoners into their cell and then they would allow us to see him.  At this time, it felt like the intruder was our warden and that the hospital was my husband’s captors. 

Over two hours later and without any word, (isolation is a method that is used as torture), we were still waiting.  I was completely and probably irreversibly numbed by this point.  I was at or maybe I had had my breaking point.  My blood pressure was sky-high and my type 1 diabetic son’s glucose levels had risen during the evening to a scary point.  (It is ironic that one quack doctor tried to make my husband a diabetic as his blood glucose level had been tested and it was high.  However, that doctor was a graduate of a foreign school of dentistry and apparently they did not teach them that during extremely stressful situations like having a heart attack, stress, and having ate a high carb meal that was not digested properly as it was interrupted by the heart, like giving someone a blood sugar test when they have not fasted is likely to result in high blood glucose levels.  I am not a doctor but even I know this.  In fact, because of their actions I was watching my son struggle with his blood sugar levels rising because of their torture of us.  This quack made my husband’s insurance pay $90—you can buy over 100 of the better strips for that amount– for every test strip they used and ordered insulin for him to take while in the hospital.  That quack is should not be able to practice his quackery on humans.)  Finally, he said he was going to nab the next person he heard coming or going.  He had had enough.  A few minutes later, he sprung to his feet so fast I didn’t know it until he had actually collared someone.

As I was getting up, before he could identify himself or what he wanted, the nurse (with dark brown hair whom we later found out was the one asking stupid questions) started laughing as she was saying, “I was coming to get you.  I just came from his room.” (How did she know who he/we were?)  Still laughing, she went on to say, “I am not his nurse.  I was just helping his nurse as she had trouble hooking up his machines.  She was overwhelmed and had a room full of people helping her.  I will let you in these doors and his is the last room on the left.”  With that she buzzed us in and left, still laughing.  At this point, I was so relieved to find out he was still alive that I didn’t question her about the laughter but was puzzled by it.  However, my puzzlement shouldn’t have lasted long after what I was about to witness but with all the mental traps that had been used on me that evening, I wasn’t alert at that time to what I was about to witness. 

I will never forget what I saw when I entered the room.  I will never forgive myself for being so mentality drained and numbed that I did not spring into action.  NEVER WILL I FORGIVE MYSELF. 

My husband’s room was directly in line with the double doors we had been sitting by in the waiting room with our backs toward.  We had seen and heard many people going in and out of those doors but we didn’t know it was for him.  We didn’t know from those doors you could see into his room.

As we started to enter the room and it had a long entrance, my son said he had forgotten his diabetic supplies consisting of his insulin, meter, and needles.  I told him to hurry and find it before someone else did.  He left so I entered the room alone.  What I saw will forever be burned into my memory.  I know now what I witnessed.  Then I was just too numb to it to register through everything that I had endured.

Once I was to the main part of the room, I could see this nurse with long, blond hair that was pulled back.  (I should say bleached blond hair that resembled straw.  On her social media sites, besides drinking being her favorite hobby, she fancies herself to be a Southern Belle with movie star looks.).  She was turned towards a computer that she was working on.  My husband had his eyes closed laying on the bed.  That in itself was not odd.  What is forever burned into my mind is that he was laying there with his gown above his navel and his blanket around his knees.  As I said the nurse was working on the computer slightly turned at an angle but as I entered she turned with a laugh/smile on her face until she must have realized I wasn’t whom she had expected.  She quickly recovered and told me I had to leave as she then pulled up his blanket.  My husband awoken as I was asking her why I needed to leave since I was his wife.  She had a questioning look on her face and again asked me who I was to which I replied I was his wife.  She asked me for my name.  I told her I was Mrs. Last Name.  She said she needed my first name.  I looked at my husband and he had that look of “oh, no” because even in his fog he knows I do not like for medical people to assume they have the right to call me by my first name, so I told her without making a fuss.  She then told me to spell it.  All the time she was looking at her computer screen to try to verify who I was.  Up to this point, the Catholic hospital thought they were dealing with a gay man with a husband.  Her computer screen must have verified my name spelling (as the medical records listed me as a husband but had my first name spelled correctly).  She started laughing again and said she didn’t know how to examine him without exposing him.  She then started to laugh harder and exclaimed that she had figured it out by pulling his blanket up between his legs to cover his penis.  It didn’t strike me until the next day how her behavior was so odd.  For one time, was she a new nurse that never had been involved in patient care?  If so, what was she doing in a cardiac critical care unit?  Furthermore, did she not go to nursing school where they teach patient care and take the oath of protecting patient dignity?  Would not have the better solution been to pull his gown down between his legs so the blanket could have been lifted to view one side or the other?  I now know it was her plan to go back to exposing him once I left.  He verified that she did.  He was still very drugged and unable to respond unless prompted.  He was afraid to say anything as he knew he was defenseless against them.  He didn’t know what had happened but he knew something had.  He really had no idea that he had had a major invasive procedure done and the result would affect the rest of his life. 

As my son entered, she was saying she had had trouble hooking up his machines (the ones needed to take stress off his heart) and the room had been full of techs.  It did not occur to me at that time that she had left my husband exposed to the room full of techs, the person who draws blood, and possibly the chaplain intruder.  She had admitted she didn’t know how not to expose him.  Later, after research, I have found out she has been a nurse for over ten years.  So in all the ten year period, she didn’t know how not to exposed a patient’s genitalia for prolonged periods of time?  Once we received the medical records, it became evident that during this over 2 hours period, she had made my husband use the urinal and performed perineal care in front of a room full of people.  He remembers this now.  He feels violated and sexually abused by this monster’s behavior.  This monster nurse had completely violated my husband’s right to personal dignity that is guaranteed by federally mandated guidelines and the hospital’s Patient Bill of Rights.  She also violated her oath of nursing to preserve a patient’s dignity.  She willfully and maliciously violated him to the point of sexual abuse.  Not only did she do it with a room full of people while he was still heavily under the influence of fentanyl and versed (the one he refused), but what was she and the laughing nurse doing alone in the room with my drugged and vulnerable husband?  What was so funny in the cardiac critical care room of a drugged man that lasted for hours?  This is not a case of being embarrassed because a female nurse will see or has seen Little Willy.  It is a case of a monster nurse sexually harassing a male patient who has been rendered vulnerable and defenseless by drugs, an illness, and a medical procedure. 

We only stayed for a few minutes as the nurse told us we were outside of visiting hours.  She never mentioned that I could have stayed overnight with him.  She never gave us any information except we would need a patient code to talk with my husband.  She said if I lost the number she wrote down, we would not be allowed to have contact with him.   My husband was not responsive unless prompted and I could tell he was heavily drugged.  When I asked if he was sleepy he said no but he kept his eyes closed as if he was in another universe.  Since the nurse didn’t seem to want us there and my husband was unresponsive and needed rest, we left.  My son was physically unable at that time to drive home alone as his blood sugar levels were through the roof.  He was so confused he said maybe he should get a coke for energy.  He hasn’t had a coke in the 3 years since he was diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic.  We were there about ten minutes around 4am and stayed a number of hours visiting with him.  The nurse lied and falsified my husband’s medical records saying we were there around 3am and that she had educated us about all aspects of his treatment and care.  This nurse proved she was a liar.  What else is or was she capable of?  What was wrong with her?  Does she like to sexually abuse vulnerable male patients?  Is she one the over 20% of medical workers with an addiction problem?  Or was it just my husband because of this “gay” label that she and the others decided to abuse?  

My husband remembers being transferred into the room from the gurney.  The cath. lab had just thrown a gown over him.  When the blond nurse saw in CCU saw the gown, her first priority became changing the gown.  She said it was the wrong gown for the CCU area.  So her first priority was not to hook up his life saving equipment but to change his gown.  However, during transfer from gurney to the bed, whether the gown fell off on its own or rather the blond nurse helped it off, the gown fell off leaving him once again totally exposed to the females nurses without any thought to his personal dignity.  They did not cover him up as the blond nurse went off in search of the “correct” gown.  After all, having a gown on from the cath lab of the same hospital is a national emergency situation.   My husband remembers being exposed almost constantly during the time he spent with this monster molester nurse.  He remembers the room full of people and being made to urinate in front of them and having her clean him up in front of them.  He was humiliated beyond endurance.  He remembers laying there exposed while the laughing nurse asked him questions like was he sexually abused.  Not by me but by them as it turns out.  Still naked, have you travelled outside of this country.  What color is your poop?  The abuse inflicted was incredible and almost unbelievable.  Why was wrong with this hospital.  Why do they allow their nurses to sexually abuse their patients?  Why do they drug their patients?  Why do they isolate their patients?  Why do they act in such a secretive manner?  Why do they make patients prisoners and control them?  Why are they so horrible? 

However, the abuse did not stop once I left.  The blond nurse let him be in pain from the groin wounds and suturing.  She let him become nauseated to the point of vomiting even though he had been prescribed a drug to stop the nausea.  He remembers throwing up down his left side when he was lying almost flat.  He remembers her once again stripping off his gown and leaving him exposed when she cleaned him up and changed his bed.  His genital region should have been covered but she certainly didn’t view him as a human being that had the right to be treated with dignity and she had the responsibility to protect and to treat him with dignity.  She truly is a horrible and despicable person.  He never again wants any female nursing/tech to be involved where he may have genital exposure and really that mean almost never because he was expected this to happen.  This never was an issue in the past but now it is one that is forever a lasting effect of his mistreatment.  He will refuse care by any female where genital exposure is done as he suffered sexual abuse at the hands of females during this hospitalization.

Once this nurse was off duty, no more sexual abuse happened.  That doesn’t mean that Rancidcan was more competent or compassionate because they weren’t.  It just means he was able to defend himself.  His medical records are full of their mistakes like one of the cath lab heifers who was the recorder of events even though she may no longer have a valid alcohol license may have a drinking issue as she could not remember what procedure they had inflicted upon him 2 minutes after it officially ended.  He also had a couple of male nurses who seemed to willing to protect his personal dignity and acted more compassionately.  He said although the effects of the drugs made his mind foggy for a week afterwards, his main goal was to get out of that hospital any way he could.  I told him about what had happened to me but at that time he couldn’t process it and said he needed to concentrate on his escape from that hellhole.  He knew though what I had suffered and told me not to be there as he was worried about the harm they had done.  I in turn was worried about the harm they had done to him.   It wasn’t until he came home that we realized what had happened to both of us.  It became clearer over time with him remembering and slowly being able to finally talk about what he endured.  I was able to entirely share with him what I endured.  Both of us have an incredible amount of guilt for what the other has been through.  Neither of us at this time will seek hospital care again if it means being an inpatient prisoner.

No one really knows the damage something like this causes unless you have suffered torture and abuse especially from someone or an institution that is supposed to protect you.  I now have a better understanding of what rape victims suffer—the control of the abuser that affects their very soul and how personal that violation is.  I now better understand the boys who have been molested by Catholic priests whom supposedly represent all that is good.  It rips your very being into shreds.  It makes you question everything.  It makes you trust no one.

My husband, at this time, will not agree to any more emergency type care.  He does not trust ambulance personnel nor does he trust hospitals.  He will not have anything done medically if I cannot be present without him.  He no longer will go anywhere if I am not with him.  He does not want to become their victim again.  He has issues falling asleep and staying asleep.  Whether these issues are from the long term side effects of versed (it can change how the brain functions and responds to sleep patterns forever), we don’t know.  He only has light sleep whereas before his sleep pattern was much deeper.  When he does fall asleep, he has nightmares about what happened.  He gets very quiet at times.  He thinks about their abuse of him and their abuse of me. 

For me, this is always on my mind.  I know with the procedure that done on him that it is very likely to cause major issues and/or the medicine that forced upon him because of the procedure also cause issues.   I cannot forgive myself for what I call his rape at the hands of the medical community.  My nightmares are very vivid.  I have dreams of the blond nurse for example:  she picks up a baby chicken and spreads its legs and wings apart.  Then, laughing, she suddenly takes her thumb and forefinger and squashes its neck.  I dream that we are different places and the cath lab nurses appear and chase my husband so they can harm him.  I cannot watch tv because if there is anything to do with Rancidcan or nurses, I get upset.  I cannot travel where I live without seeing their signs about having heartfelt moments for $49.  I feel sorry and upset for anyone who thinks this hospital actually cares about the people they may treat.  The heart billboard is especially upsetting.  It is personal.  They have no heart.   I usually give it the finger like I do whenever I see anything associated with either of these hospitals.  We both become upset when we hear an ambulance helicopter flying overhead because we know they may be committing assault and battery on a person who already is seriously ill/injured.  I used to love the weekends but now Saturday nights and early Sunday morning just make me live through what happened minute by minute again and again.  I loathe this time.  My husband no longer wants to be in our family room on a Saturday night where the heart attack happened so as not to begin this series of events again.  Both of us no longer take pleasure in the things that we did before we the torture and abuse.  We fear medical people and the power they took from us making us their prisoner once we enter their doors.  Entering a medical facility’s doors take a lot for us as they now have condemned him to lifetime of medical interference.  They seemed angry that he was healthy, not diabetic and did not have any symptoms of heart disease prior to his heart attack.  They put in “quotes” they he had had prostate cancer as if they didn’t believe him.  He did not take any prescription drugs even though he was in his mid-60”s.  They made sure now he does.  In fact, his rx for statin was the highest dose prescribed even though his cholesterol levels were well with the high normal range. He didn’t have high blood pressure but they made sure he now has to take a pill made from poison.  They say don’t drink gas but blood pressure pills are made from gas additives.   I assume that doctors do whatever they can to make sure all older people are on prescription medicines as they know the more medicines, the more they have different conditions stemming from the medicines, and the more the patient has to see the doctor and be prescribed more medicines. It is a win-win except for the patient who gets caught in a cycle of greed and malicious treatment.

It was not the heart attack that made us this way but rather the people and institutions whom tortured and abused us.  We are grateful they did not kill him with all their torture and abuse.  However, what they have taken from us by forcibly performing a procedure on him without consent and the subsequent abuse has let us not in better shape from their administrations but in worse shape.  I think there is a medical oath about doing no harm but apparently that medical oath is not taken or if it is, it is only lip service.  They have also put us into a place where we must work through the PTSD on our own as we do not trust them.  Why would we seek treatment for PTSD from the very people that harmed us?  We did not expect to be harmed by them and so trust is forever broken.

The Unmentioned Hospitalization Ilness

It has been more than 6 months since my husband had a heart attack.  The mental anguish both of us suffer has not gotten any easier.  We have finally been able to give our mental anguish a name—Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  We were not warned this could be an outcome.

Let me clarify.  In the literature the hospital put in my husband’s fold and later in cardiac rehabilitation, they said he might become depressed that he had had a heart attack.  That is not why either of us became depressed.  He had prostate cancer in his early 50’s and that was really a hard one to accept but we did.  The C word is an ugly one but we survived, made adjustments, and life went on.

Late last summer, he suffered a heart attack.  He was healthy otherwise.  He did not have high cholesterol, diabetes, or high blood pressure.  In other words, he was a healthy man who had a heart attack.  Even though I am not religious, I knew he would be okay.  It was just a feeling I had that I cannot explain.  I got him to the hospital as soon as I realized what was going on despite him saying it was nothing.  For both of us, it was not the heart attack that has caused the PTSD but rather the medical community. 

I want to share our story of what brought about for us both to suffer from PTSD.  I have in other blogs, told some of our story.  I will tell some of what my husband is feeling but I will deal mostly with my PTSD.  I would have never thought that as a spouse of someone who was hospitalized, that I too would suffer from PTSD.  Of course, I would have never thought about someone whom is a patient getting PTSD from hospitalization.  It is not something the hospital makes you aware of even in all their CYA literature. 

We knew that each of us was deeply affected by what had to him.  In talking, we both realized it was not the heart attack in itself.   Rather it was all the things that happened because of the heart attack.  We came to realize that both of our PTSD was centered on the standard of care/treatment we each had endured during his hospital experience.  We each suffered through different issues but some were overlapping.  We knew we were suffering but was not able to identify what we were suffering from until I talked in length of MadManBanterings or Archie Banterings who is an expert on hospital related issues. 

I described some of the thoughts and feelings we were suffering from and Archie said he thought it sounded like PTSD.  He had links to articles on PTSD and I have done a lot more intensive research.  After months of both of living with something we had no clue of having, what we have finally has a name.  Just knowing has been a big relief for us.

In my next article, I will go through the definition of PTSD and how hospitalization can attribute to this disease.  I will also from time to time blog on our thoughts in living with this disorder. c=d.hea